The Conservative Alternative and Sane Choice - Keystone Phil for Senate

[Keystone Phil]

I'm back. I'm running. I'm taking questions. Go.

[Keystone Phil]

For the national senate election? Or the Northeast regional one?

I am running for the vacant national seat. Next.

[Keystone Phil]

Splendid, now we have another inactive member running

Obviously not really inactive if I am running for a Senate seat. I'm sorry that a re-energized Atlasia threatens my opponents.

[Keystone Phil]

Splendid, now we have another inactive member running

Obviously not really inactive if I am running for a Senate seat. I'm sorry that a re-energized Atlasia threatens my opponents.

Yadda yadda. What's your recent record? Where are your accomplishments? (In the last year, even.)

I don't have one and don't have any. What's your record? Oh! You were the Attorney General! Wow! A completely meaningless position. Good for you, Marokai.

I almost feel bad about running. We should just hand off these positions to pathetic people like yourself who have nothing else to live for.

[Keystone Phil]

Awww, that's really nice, Marokai. It'll be even more hilarious when you lose. 

All your meaningless work for...nothing.

[Keystone Phil]

Why are you here running for the seat? You just came out of the blue.

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I was told of the vacant seat by a prominent Atlasian official and it was suggested that I run. I was told that activity was really picking up here and that's great so I wanted to be involved again.

That's pretty harsh. Attorney General is a difficult post. And, Marokai has remained very active recently. Too bad you can't say the same thing.

The crush you have on Marokai is really cute. It explains so much, too (your attacks on me elsewhere including your bumping of a thread that was months old to call me a "Very Horrible Person" even though I haven't done anything to you).

What's your platform and agenda?

Not being too serious.

[Keystone Phil]

What do you want to do for Atlasia?

Get more people involved. I'm sorry if people find this to be the "wrong" focus but many people (including leaders here) think that this has become too "government oriented" and not enough about the fun of campaigns.

[Keystone Phil]

I have a question. Do you think your Jonas-esque good looks will help you in this race? And do you have plans to recruit James to vote for you?

I take that as an insult. Not only are the Jonas Brothers annoying, they're also very odd looking.

I don't need to recruit James.

[Keystone Phil]

I have a question. Do you think your Jonas-esque good looks will help you in this race? And do you have plans to recruit James to vote for you?

I take that as an insult. Not only are the Jonas Brothers annoying, they're also very odd looking.

I don't need to recruit James.

I find that as an insult, because my looks have been compared many times to the Jonas Brothers.

I'm sorry. Not that I said what I said but that you apparently look like them.

[Keystone Phil]

My friends,

The strange events that have unfolded tonight have me more convinced than ever that far too many people here take this far too seriously. In all honesty, folks, I'm disturbed with a lot of people here.

Let the children continue to bicker. Meanwhile, take a look at the only sensible alternative...

[Keystone Phil]

Any more questions, people?

[Keystone Phil]

What is your position on the Federal Libel and Slander Penalization Bill?

It seems unnecessary.

[Keystone Phil]

Apparently some of my haters (the law) are stating that I missed the candidacy declaration by just a few hours so you need to write me in for the Senate race.

[Keystone Phil]

Well, the Establishment successfully thwarted my efforts to become a Senator. Such a pity that they found "legal" means to keep me off the ballot. They knew that if I was there that this would be much closer.

Anyway, I'm not officially conceding since I don't like to do that before the polls close. That being said, I am announcing my candidacy for the Northeast Senate seat.

[Keystone Phil]

I have a brief statement...

Congrats to Marokai. Stay tuned for bigger news.