My (new) update thread. GUESS WHO HAS GIRL FEELINGS AGAIN

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

So, following the horrendous disaster that was my first update thread (cant find the link, don't really care to keep looking) I've decided to, much to the eventual chagrin of numerous Atlas Forum posters, start a new update thread.

This whole week at my school, we've been having spirit days (with themes such as "ugly sweater day" and "decades day" etc.) and today was wacky day. You just dress up in whatever to show your school spirit. But that's not really the point. The point is that a girl in my grade (who is a super babe like she is really gorgeous to begin with) looked STUNNING today. Literally the cutest I've ever seen her. I had US History with her and I was blushing soooo badly when she walked into the room. You see, I've had a crush on her since she first came to the school in the middle of Freshman year. She likes awesome music (not metal or hardcore or whatever but yakno) and she's the sweetest human being on Earth. I do not believe she's physically capable of being angry.

Anyway, there are two problems with all of that:

1. I'm still technically kind of, but not really, in a relationship. Basically, we're on a break, but we're not broken up, therefore if I were to do anything with this other girl, it'd still be cheating.

2. This girl is a super Christian. Like...goes to Bible Camp and likes it and listens to nothing but Christian bands (which is cool) and preferences religion above everything else. She's also pretty popular and, as I mentioned, totally gorgeous.

I stutter every single time I talk to her but she thinks I'm funny and she always laughs at my jokes which is cool.

So the dilemma is, do I ball up and officially break up with my girlfriend to try and get into a relationship with a girl who I literally have a 0.000000001% chance of getting with? I'm probably gonna go with no, but we'll see.

Thus begins my horrible thread.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

All women are capable of getting angry, even the sweet ones, unless they have no backbone, then you don't want them anyway.

Also, if you aren't satisfied with your current girlfriend, then break up with her regardless of whether you date this Christian girl or not. You need to keep in mind that she is a super Christian though and you are not. Can you handle that? She may not even want to date you if she is super serious about her faith. Again, I do realize that you both are 17, so my advice may not be any good.

Well I do love my girlfriend with all of my heart, it's just getting difficult considering we hardly ever talk anymore.

But I think my main problem if I were to actually date her (by some miracle) is that I'm a really...horny individual. I'm pretty sure that the Bible says "thou shalt not blow emos" so that pretty much f's me.

Proof that I am literally a freaking weirdo:

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

going crazy over someone else.

Right now, you have an infatuation with her that probably isn't realistic. Even if she likes you, you'll grow tired of her and her Jesus love and will just hope you can change her mind, which you won't because people don't change usually.

Just find the school slut and bang her, but don't do that until you dump your girlfriend.

I wouldn't say "crazy" just kinda...into her, you dig?

But yeah I totally feel the latter parts (except banging the school slut that's not for me) idk being a teenager sucks

sorry but nobody cares

that has never stopped me before

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Write a note, give it to her, and run away.

I am going to hunt you down.

Carl, what did you eat for dinner? How much money have you spent on porn in the last year? Are your parents footing the bill for said porn? Did you walk today?

Cheesesteaks, $0, no and i ran

1. Leave your girlfriend... Having been in a relationship that I didn't like being in, I can tell you it's not healthy.
2. Don't Facebook girls telling them they're cute.  It's creepy and weird.
2a. Don't admit that you're weird when doing it - it takes it from the girl thinking you're just awkward to thinking you're a creeper because you knew that it was weird.
2b. Never use the phrase "cute as heck"... that's weird too.

But hey, other than that, go for the girl.  The worst she can do is say, "No".

1. eh
2. EH
2a. that's just me though it's not an act or fishing for sympathy or whatever it's how i actually feel
2b. heck off

Yeah, I get it. I'm just saying you don't love your girlfriend. Why are you hardly speaking? That's not a healthy relationship.

Anyway, yeah, values are important. Remember that before you do anything crazy because a lot of times it just isn't worth it.

I guess I don't love her considering I've never even met her. We're hardly speaking because (and this will not help my cause at all) she said that she is basically not attracted to me at the moment and doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone, but she literally texted me at 2 am and said "this doesn't feel right i want to be with you" like 5 days ago and we haven't talked since

Have you planned kisses #1-9 yet, or are you asking her father before going that far?

I've only fantasized about #1.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Update: She invited me to her church's halloween party, which I'm considering going to. She also encouraged me to talk to her in real life rather than over Facebook.

What?! You've never met your girlfriend? Then she's not your girlfriend. Break it off and go try to find a real girl who you can actually see in person. If she told you she isn't attracted to you, grow a pair and tell her it's over. Why would you want to date someone who says something like that to you?

Well I'm of the view that long distance relationships can work, even if the two involved haven't met. I stay with her because I do care about her and I'm hoping she'll want to be with me. Plus I suuuuuuuuuuuuuuck at breaking up with girls. And talking to girls. And co-existing with girls.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

I've heard her voice and seen her through Skype and we frequently send each other packages

It's not that she doesn't find me attractive, she said it's just not in a romantic way at the moment.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Wait, who invited you to the party? The girl at school or your "girlfriend?"

Go to the party if she invited you to come. At best, you will see her boobs. At worst, you will go to a halloween party. You win. I hope she drinks.

The girl at my school. I think I'll go.

Although I don't think there will be boobs or alcohol. Remember, she's a Christian

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

My crippling inability to interact with other human beings is the cog in that plan.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

I've never been in a relationship, so I can't give you much advice, sad to say.  I mean, I can tell you how to get to fourth base in fifteen seconds or less, but my way probably isn't very practical.  Or legal.

I'm sorry, what?

yeah that caught me off guard big time


I will say though, there is a -1000% chance that I will ever "be a jerk" in order to get a girl. I can absolutely live with not having someone date me simply due to the fact that I did not treat them like garbage. It may work for some people, but it won't work for me.

That's where you strat it up and bring a flask.

Don't own one. Don't have money. Don't have booze.


As for the "word vomit" thing, I'll reiterate:

that's just me though it's not an act or fishing for sympathy or whatever it's how i actually feel

I have 0 ability to speak to strangers. None whatsoever. No matter how romantically interested I am in them.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Here's the link to the old disasterous trainwreck of a thread, though I'd advise that no one read it: https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=136402.0

This is the last time I will ever click on this guaranteed to be utter trainwreck of a thread as well.

Thanks for finding it! And I'm glad you'll never be coming back.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

The thing is, most of my friends are girls. It's been that way my entire life. I've always been closer to my mom and grandmom than anyone else. It baffles me that I'm unable to simply tell a girl she looked cute without sounding like a total tool. Regardless, I think I'm going to end up breaking up with my girlfriend within a month's time, considering we talked last night for about 10 minutes and it was the most uncomfortable feeling I've had with her involved. I'm going to do the good guy thing and give it time.

As for the girl at my school, today she looked cute as heck (again) and I planned on saying something to her

She saw me in the halls, smiled, said hello, and I managed to...

Apologize profusely for being so freaking weird.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Hopefully you didn't use those three words again...

Frick off it's my body i do what i want

Just don't speak to her until Halloween. I think that's your best route.

I need to be the kid in this commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axm35l5u8-E

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Christian girl is looking for something that you aren't and if you do manage to date her, there will be pressure to end it from her parents, church friends etc.

This is my biggest fear/point of acceptance. I am by no means a Christian, but I'm very very good with meeting parents/friends/etc. Believe it or not, my maturity comes alive when it needs to. It has yet to fail me.

But yeah, most of our conversations go in one of two ways. Either:

me: -stupid joke-
her: -laughs-

or

her: -talks about music-
me: -also talks about music-

that's it

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

First of all, there's no reason to tell a girl you haven't kissed yet that she's cute (or that you like her, etc.). Did you ever learn about "show not tell" in English class?

It's kinda hard to kiss a girl if you don't tell her that you're interested. At least for me it is.

Dude, values matter. Remember that. Her being a Christian and you not, especially if she's a hardcore Christian, will always hurt you. I'm not saying don't pursue her, but there will be pressure for her not to date you because of that.

It's easier if she isn't really serious about it of course. I've never dated a Christian but I am one myself, albeit a poor one, but every girl I've dated valued the same things I did so it was okay. This just sounds like an uphill battle, but I still think you need to can your current girlfriend.

The uphill battle is more of a "would she consider dating me in the first place" thing rather than a "would the whole 'i'm not a Christian' thing work out" thing

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Update: my girlfriend and I basically broke up yesterday (me breaking up with her, though we're still friends and haven't ruled out getting back together after some time)

Bigger update: I got the girl from my school's number!!!!!!!!!

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Matt goddammit i told you not to post that i look HORRIBLE in that video

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

My formula is basically 'be myself - super weird vibes = maybe get girl?"

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

At least you broke up with your girlfriend. Now cut her out of your life. Otherwise you will never make any progress trying to balance her and this new girl. Plus, girls get super weird post-break up. You normally need a few months of silence before a friendship could ever work.

I can't do that. Besides, if this thing with me and the girl from my school doesn't work out, I'll have something to fall back on. I have a weird affinity for being in relationships.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Do you really want a fall back plan? You're never going to be happy approaching it like that! You want someone who is your first choice. No one wants to be stuck with their second or third!

It sounds so douche-y the way I put it. She's not like a fall back plan just kinda like...idk she was super upset and guilt tripped me to high hell and I do care about her a whole lot but idk it's so difficult and i hate hurting people but i needed to dump her it was weird cuz i've never dumped anyone before

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Update: I found out today through a mutual friend of ours that the girl at my school does not have any interest in dating me, as she only dates Christian boys. Bummer.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Yeah I think I'm just gonna stay single for a bit. Come whatever may, I suppose.

I have to side with Duke and Lief on this one, man. Get a Jesus necklace, clench your Bible, and Christian up the place. She obviously likes you to some extent if she gave you her number (could be a just friends type of deal) but still the point remains, you might be able to still have her, if you want her.

I'm pretty sure she just wants to be friends. As a matter of fact, I'm 100% sure

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Hahahaha here we go again

So I dumped my Texas girlfriend and completely cut her out of my life.

Today I asked out a Freshman girl who's super rad and cute and she said yes so there's that

Discuss

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Discuss

Ok, let's discuss this, R2.

"So I took you guys' advice."

Learn how to write a proper sentence at school.

This was done partially on purpose and partially because my brain is fried right now

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

What grade you in, Jake?

11th. For context: Freshman = 9th grade.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

What grade you in, Jake?

11th. For context: Freshman = 9th grade.

Yeah, I know that. Just looking for context on this in terms of what you're going after.

I get you.

Dear God, this thread is bad.