just girl things

[courts]

okay, so as some of you are aware i've been going through the process of slowly coming out of the closet to my family about being transgender since halloween. anyway, not to be an attention whore but i've finally reached the point where i've decided i need to transition to being a girl. the problem of course, is that i have no idea how i'm going to pay for hormones, plastic surgery, etc. but its just gotten to the point where i can't deny it anymore. i don't want to get any more masculine looking as i age. there's other things but frankly that's the biggest for me. i guess this is sort of my update...

[courts]

How old are you?

25, almost 26. i do plan on going back to college in fall so i'm probably going to at least be covered by umass. don't have a place of my own right now though. as it is i've been living with my family because for a couple years i was going through a really severe bout of depression (among other things...). even though my mom isn't totally on board with me going through with hrt she seems to be slowly coming along. we already talked about this several hours late last night. she was up calling me because of *her* anxiety anyway. i debated not bringing it up but considering she's actually had people she know get *murdered* i thought she could probably handle it. went better than i thought, we're finally at the point where she's making the effort to call me alex, amiga, etc. so there's been that much progress

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i'm well aware of that. i believe it's something like a 3 month period of evaluation before you can begin hormones in most places, but that could be outdated info. i've already discussed this with my psychiatrist and set up an appointment for medical testing and other things this week.

[courts]

hm, a lot going on this week.

1) went down to my psychiatrist, told him i had made up my mind on transitioning. told him i was kind of overwhelmed at the moment but we chatted about it for about 30 minutes. he couldn't really refer me to any specialists (yet) but he did tell me there was a clinic up in new hampshire that could help, maybe yale depending. he prescribed me my usual meds (adderall). i scheduled a 1 hour long appointment on the 25th to sort of mediate things with my mom.

2) looked up the cost of a name change. its actually fairly cheap, only $85 for the notary fee. i should be able to do that this month, maybe even this week. i already have all my info in a safe anyway.

3) going to be talking to my dad today. i've been kind of pacing thinking about how i'm going to break the news.

4) writing a letter to my health insurer notifying them on a bunch of bills they haven't reimbursed me for. since my insurance probably expires in august i'm looking into school insurance and a bunch of other plans.

5) still on med leave from school, scrambling to get the work for the 3 (!!) in completes i racked up earlier in 2013 during my depression-spiral. no idea if i'm going back or not next semester, also kind of weighing on me tbh.

more to come. sorry if this is all a tad bushiesque but well, yeah need to vent sometimes

[courts]

not going to lie i've been up trying to get my mind off this. was actually feeling okay but now i'm starting to crash. i've been kind of out of it this week, all of this is really getting to me. i actually forgot i had my prescription for adderall earlier in my pocket. idk, i don't even know where to begin. doesn't help that my mom's aunt died and there's been a lot of weirdness there...

[courts]

hm lot of drama lately. some more notable stuff

- one of my best friends and sort of adopted sister erika was over here. it was great, sadly the whole situation with her sh**tty mormon adopted parents, slumlord apartment and youths outside causing trouble hasn't changed but whatever. should see her again in october

- classes are what they are... i guess i'll hand in other assignments anyway.

- reconciled with my on and off collaborator, bondoc over at alternate history.com. started massively increasing my creative output as a result of that plus meds and other stuff. still kind of a sh**tty artist but my capacity for coming up with characters and quality of my fiction has definitely improved with a lot of effort .

- got a few trippy books for inspiration and source material. you shall die by your own evil creation by paul karasik with all the old strips by fletcher hanks. master of mazes an old classic cyoa book with wonderful illustrations. some more paul auster stories. some other nsfw stuff i downloaded

- finally met my in laws

- proposed to my boyfriend kenny though its not something my family (or his) knows about. long story there

[courts]

Yeah, best luck!

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Fun Fact of the day: North Korea covers them, believe it or not

so does iran although thats a little more well known. i've heard some homophobes say they accept trans people though or similar (because they actually want to be women and not effeminate males or something) so i guess its not that strange

[courts]

What about a gofundme?

It'll be public through and you might have to promote yourself through youtube videos, but you could also inspire others and receive emotional (as well as financial) support.

im not above e begging so yeah sure, if someone can point me in that direction without sounding too scammy