Are you able to boil pasta?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Yes (normal, grew up with Italian food).

Boiling water

That I can do.

But if you're only cooking the pasta till it's "al dente" rather than fully cooked--which will, depending upon just how undercooked it is, dehydrate your body as it draws water out of your cells in order to hydrate itself, although this is usually a bigger problem with Raman noodles than with Spaghetti--then you should probably be getting some sort of government assistance. 

That's how most people like their pasta.

Not in my experience.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

muon, that sounds absolutely amazing.

Do you have any recipes that call for white wine? I have some chardonnay that I'd like to use up but for various reasons don't want to actually drink.