The Update for Everybody Else

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

No work today, or if there is it's delayed. May be going kayaking later.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

A couple hours ago my mother passed away. So I am probably going to be off for a little while. While this is the saddest I've ever felt, I am still greatly comforted knowing that her suffering is over and that she is in a better place now.

Very sorry to hear this. You'll be in my prayers. I had to go through losing a parent three years ago, and it is one of the most emotionally painful experiences someone young can go through. Though you're quite a bit older than I was, and still older than I am now, this is still an early age for that to happen. Very sorry.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Went kayaking today and yesterday at a lake that has an island on which, according to legend, Chief Pontiac was buried. Been to the island both days. No Indian ghosts, but there were the ruins of a house, steps, pipes, and some sort of wall/railing. Has a "No Trespassing" sign, which we of course ignored. I've been hangin' with the same group of people too much outside of grad parties (over), so I should probably try to branch out, though I have little time to do so before college.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Have had two days off in a row. My bastard boss has been like "F#ck it, I'll take the day off", leaving my friend and I to deal with that. In any case, the weight room was closed today, not leaving much to do. Feeling too lazy to try to hang out with some folks, so it's like whatever, bro.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Only two more days of work. Gonna have to be working eight hour days though. We've finished drilling through the ends of the factory rollers, now it's our job to bolt them together. Given the inaccuracy of the holes we drilled, we've been having to use "pine trees"--drill bits that are staggered so that the hole gradually widens as you get deeper--to try to forge a path between the holes on two different rollers so that we can get enough space to put a bolt in. We've got four different five-roller sets done and should get the rest done tomorrow. Sixteen more hours to go, and at thirteen bucks an hour! Haha!

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Well I am officially finished with work, so it seems. With college fast-approaching, I've got to knuckle down on what's apparently important--writing grad party thank you's (still!) and getting in touch with my room mate about what we're bringing.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Why is it that all these admissions department jobs sound awful? Why don't they have things like... I dunno, lawn mower, ditch digger, lumberjack, or manual laborer available for work study? Things that involve knowing things about the school seem like they'd be a bad fit for me, for obvious reasons.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Went to a "Breaking Bad" viewing party earlier today. Before that I'd been kayaking. Pretty good day.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

A fairly hot conservative evangelical girl has me considering faking my beliefs in exchange for a lifelong monogamous relationship with an obedient wife and good looking children.  I'll probably come to my senses later and not go through with it, but I thought I would share that with you all.

Sounds like a good plan to me. People have faked beliefs for likely millennia for the sake of happiness.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

So, I have a more lighthearted story. A few weeks ago I was out with the guys and after our friend's grad party we all decided to go out for wings. After eating we decide to walk around because we needed some stuff, and we went to a few stores on the way. In one of our regular stops I was looking for posters for my dorm, and I was spending a bit too much time looking at the ones with girls. My friend is eagerly peering over my shoulder like a kid in a candy store, as he usually does with anything sexual, and I'm nodding along. Then, I hear a voice asking me if we're finding everything okay...

I turn around to realize that my high school crush has been watching me and my friend stare at a poster of two girls making out.

Not sure if that's good or bad (I'd assume bad, so sorry bro. ) but it's a pretty good story to retell at parties and stuff.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

So, I have a more lighthearted story. A few weeks ago I was out with the guys and after our friend's grad party we all decided to go out for wings. After eating we decide to walk around because we needed some stuff, and we went to a few stores on the way. In one of our regular stops I was looking for posters for my dorm, and I was spending a bit too much time looking at the ones with girls. My friend is eagerly peering over my shoulder like a kid in a candy store, as he usually does with anything sexual, and I'm nodding along. Then, I hear a voice asking me if we're finding everything okay...

I turn around to realize that my high school crush has been watching me and my friend stare at a poster of two girls making out.

Not sure if that's good or bad (I'd assume bad, so sorry bro. ) but it's a pretty good story to retell at parties and stuff.

It's still good. I just pokerfaced it and just played it off like nothing was happening. She was like OH MY GOD SAWX IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU and lit up like the old days. Then my fing friend didn't get the memo and made his move while she was talking to me.

Friends are awful. That's why I made the conscious decision not to have any several years ago.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Got like two more days before I move to U of D. I got a couple things to take care of. On one end I got tons of crap I have to get ready and get together to move. On the other hand, there're some folks I gotta hang with, including a guitarist I gotta jam with, before I leave. I'm running outta time to do that and folks' work schedules don't help. Meanwhile, my room mate isn't moving in til Friday while I move in on Tuesday, so it's like "What the Hell am I gonna be doing?" Fourth situation I gotta deal with is that on the 22nd, some friends have tickets to a Tigers game. However, there's this quasi-orientation crap that's going on like the entire first week before classes start on the 26th. On the 22nd, I'm up to my ears in God-knows-what in terms of activities going until like eleven o'clock at night. College isn't supposed to be like some sadistic summer camp, so I should be able to leave, right? I have no idea how important any of the crap I'd hypothetically miss could possibly be, so it's all like "What the fock am I supposed to be doing!?", y'know?

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

One more day in New Hampshire.

I'm moving tomorrow as well. U of D here I come!

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Moved into UDM yesterday. Haven't hooked up or gotten drunk yet, though I'll keep you posted.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

The classes I teach are usually made up of more or less reasonable adults who are eager to learn. However, today I had a class of about ten 16- to 18-year-olds because the regular teacher of that class had an accident.

If someone had shown me a petition to ban teenagers after today's lesson, I would have signed it without hesitation.

What do you teach?

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Things are looking good at college.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Home from college for Labor Day weekend. Aside from getting my laundry done, seems little point to being here.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Got back from the Renaissance Festival with some friends. Spent $6.75 on a huge turkey leg. Awesome. Waiting for a ride to college from another friend.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Nan's mind is best when its senses are not deluded by such vices.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Two minutes into a long-awaited shower post-basketball, and some asshole pulls the fire alarm. Apparently it was a scheduled drill.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

I'm addicted to soda and sugar and sweet sugary drinks. I'm seriously drinking a gallon of Kool aid right now, it's about half gone. Oh it tastes so good but is so bad for me. I love you soda.

As one of the several Thirsty-Americans, that sounds amazing. I hope it's nice 'n' cold.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Already raged about this on Facebook, but someone who I thought was one of my "best friends" unfriended me and every other guy from her FB page because her boyfriend told her to.

Nothing in my life is normal anymore.

I've seen some of the worst of people in the past few weeks, and it's brought the worst out of me too. Thankfully, I have some of the best friends I could ask for, but people are crazy, I tell you.

"People are strange, when you're a stranger, faces look ugly, when you're alone. Women seem wicked, when you're unwanted, streets are uneven when you're down."

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Huge freakin' party last night, okay one the night before. Breakfast/"Brunch" opened at 10:30 and I'm hoping some folks are conscious enough to go eat. Just finished my Algebra homework, I feel like a genius in that class.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Screw this. I don't care if no one's awake right now or they're just too damned lazy/dickish to respond to a text--or to hit up my room on their way over(?)--I'm heading over at eleven.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that my life peaked between 1 AM September 7th-1 AM September 8th, 2013. It's been a bit painful accepting that, but I'm now prepared to face the rest of my bleak life.