The Comedy Goldmine(ONLY FUNNY ATLAS POSTS ALLOWED, NO BRTD ALLOWED)

[MODU]

(To keep Andrew happy.) 

Don't blame me, blame MODU for bumping it

"B!tch set me up!"

Also, that wasn't me, Ebowed, it was Liberty.  *laughs*

[MODU]

Two for the price of one:

once alito gets up there gets ready girls and boys 'back-alley abortions here we come...then we have a rebellion...then civil war.' people are agaisnt abortion but they dont want abortion banned as the moment we have a case of a 15 year old dying because of the radical supreme court decision, the anger is going to be so intense as the people on this nutty bench cant be removed.

I think you need to go back to the Land of Dorothy.  Clearly, it's more agreeable to you than the real world.

[MODU]

The court is already controled by partisan Republican election stealers. We're merely trying to prevent lying activist right-wingers from controlling it.

[MODU]

"[T]he tradition of senatorial courtesy' ... defers to the preferences of senators belonging to the president's party who represent a particular nominee's home state."

(Source)

No, you lying Republican.

Uh, he quoted the Senate web site.

[MODU]

   I had a nightmere last night about the Dems winning in a absoulte landslide in the 2006 midterms but it get's worse Hillarys gets elected president in 2008 that's how it turned out.  

I know what a nightmare is, but what is a nightmere?

         mere n. A small lake, pond, or marsh.

Perhaps it?s a type of wet dream?

EWWWW . . . I don't want to know about Kevin's nightmere's!!!

[MODU]

Also, my wife and I don't use capital punishment at home.

Well, I would hope not; that'd be harsh!

oops, I think I meant spanking the child, not beheading him.  but we try not to do that either.

[MODU]

I have to give credit to the website that comes from.  It is from Married to the Sea.  My sigs frequently come from Toothpaste for dinner

Not anything against you, Tredrick, but am I the only one who doesn't get half of the jokes on those cartoons?  HAHAHA

[MODU]

Solid red states are invariably whacko. They ban sex toys, abortions, and getting drunk in bars.

you seem to have a vested interest in sex toys.

And he seems to enjoy sticking them up his ass whenever he posts.

[MODU]

Not entirely wrong. Carter wasn't good, but not really that bad either. He was sandwiched between Ford (good) and Reagan (bad).

[MODU]

Nomo vs Cindy Sheespam thread:

I'd kill both of them and bury them upside down in their graves. And put religious symbols above them to piss them off.

[MODU]

can you go a month without replying to my threads. you hate me so much yet you cant resist reading my comments.

If you don't like my replies . . . don't post. 

i prefer you wasting your time talking about me than defending republicans in office or running for power. the bottom line is im an enigma to you. you are intrigued to know more about me but i expose very little about myself. something could be true something could be false. the more you talk about the me the more i succeed.

*dies laughin*  Keep thinking that, son.

son? ok..no more replies from me to you.

Son's a common word to use when talking to a younger male.

The whole thing is funny, but I personally love the part in bold.  He just can't get away from donning his Nomo hat.  hahaha

[MODU]

69 was the number I always stopped at during our Navy physicals.  Of course, I'd also do 69 sit-ups.  (We had two minutes to do as many as we could without stopping.)  I use to always get yelled at for that.  "_____, you are suppose to do as many as you can, not do the same number each year."  hahaha . . . of course, I'm 69 inches tall, so the symmetry of it all was perfect. 

What's with you and the number "69"? Something you're not telling us MODU? Perhaps Opie has an answer?

Impotency?

hahaha . . . too good not to post, even if it is about me. 

[MODU]

I just need to remind everyone of this classic...

No, you don't.

[MODU]

It's from another forum, but unfortunately that one doesn't have a Comedy Goldmine:

You must be logged in to read this quote.

If that's the best they have, then there is a reason why they don't have a Comedy Goldmine. 

[MODU]

hahaha . . . that's funny.  I especially like the 666 on Pennsylvania. 

[MODU]

To all the Bible thumpers in the last few posts: do you see what it says in the thread title in brackets?  Please take your ridiculous Holy War elsewhere.

[MODU]

To all the Bible thumpers in the last few posts: do you see what it says in the thread title in brackets?  Please take your ridiculous Holy War elsewhere.

So, this thread has become a place where people (like Boss Tweed) can mock mainstream Christianity and Christians are not allowed to respond?!

Everyone/Everything is mocked in this thread (including me).  Discussions are for the original thread which the quote came from. 

Anyway, I quoted Joe's post as a submission for the Comedy Goldmine, not as being in support of it. 

[MODU]

To all the Bible thumpers in the last few posts: do you see what it says in the thread title in brackets?  Please take your ridiculous Holy War elsewhere.

So, this thread has become a place where people (like Boss Tweed) can mock mainstream Christianity and Christians are not allowed to respond?!

Everyone/Everything is mocked in this thread (including me).  Discussions are for the original thread which the quote came from. 

In other words, this thread serves the dual purpose of providing a sanctuary for those unable to hold their own in a debate to come here and mock those who can.   Well, then I’ll call off the hounds; far be from me to chase a rat all the down his own rathole.

If you're gonna talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk.

Yup.    Now, feel free to copy the prior discussion back into its original thread and continue the debate there . . . IF YOU DARE!!!!! hahaha

[MODU]

From "Is the above a terrorist" thread (referring to WalterMitty):

I'd have to guess not, but a Republican in MA does seem a bit odd....

[MODU]

Not in India!

Very true. 

[MODU]

Yet another thing from another forum that really needs a Comedy Goldmine:

Sorry, but that's dumb.    Again, this should be just stuff from our own forum (and it should be funny).

[MODU]

The actor I can't say I know enough about to judge, but I really liked the Harrison Ford poster of prodigious dongs!

Please go kill yourself.

[MODU]

America is not a fascist country, except for the certain parts of Kentucky where they talk about something called "New America."  Most of us just assume these people are in-bred, poorly educated hicks who were shaving in the 4th grade, but rumor has it they might be dangerous if provoked by bushes.

[MODU]

The funniest is still alcon's comment about the mason dixon poll.

I said something amusing about a Mason-Dixon poll?

Alcon said something amusing?

Alcon?

[MODU]

No offence, but could we please take this somewhere else? I'm trying to find something funny about these posts, but I'm not getting it...

I'm not (and I think Sam won't either) bending over backwards for you.

I thought bending over forwards was what you and Sam were concerned about?

Shrug, whatever! Don't be so anal about this man...All I'm saying is that we wish to protect our "out" shoots.

NEED INPUT.  (I didn't realize Johnny #5 was in the Brokeback Mountain sequel.)