Argentinian VP attacked in a failed assassination attempt

[Ⓐnarchy in the ☭☭☭P!]

With the wonders of 21st Century technology we can experience the attempted assassination of CFK from the assassin's perspective

https://twitter.com/therealbuni/status/1565512089137025025

[Ⓐnarchy in the ☭☭☭P!]

For about a day it seemed like Kirchner was going to use the attack to strengthen her support and to push for "hate speech" laws to crack down on critical media, but her overreach combined with the absurd details turned up by the investigators deflated the issue pretty quickly. I'll talk about the political impacts in the Argentine elections thread later but suffice it to say it radicalized the hardcore Kirchnerist core but alienated everyone else, though the mixed messaging from JxC didn't help them much either.

So anyway, Cristina once said "if something happens to me, look north" and the predominant theory initially motivating her supporters was that the CIA was responsible. Instead, the leading theory of the prosecution seems to be that she was targeted by The Cotton Candy Gang, a group of far-right anti-lockdown otaku conurbana cotton candy vendors led by a 23 year old Only Fans eGirl. They scouted CFK's neighbourhood in advance by selling cotton candy at the rallies she held. In the immediate aftermath one of them even went on WhatsApp to say something to the effect of "Watch out Alberto, you're next!"

I mentioned that the police raided the Centro Cultural Kyle Rittenhouse earlier (in the other thread) but it wasn't for the attempt itself but for referring to the would-be shooter as "the Brazilian hero of Argentina". In the subsequent raid police found an 88mm mortar shell (!!!) as well a drone, but no connection to the "Banda de los Copitos".

Investigations of the gun indicated that it had no defects, as police were able to fire it 50 times without incident. It was found loaded with 5 rounds, but crucially no round was chambered, hence the failure to fire. This combined with the wiping of the attacker's phone have given rise to conspiracy theories from both sides, though to be fair even the official story is a conspiracy theory at this point.

On the one hand, some Kirchnerists still hold that they were hired by the CIA or opposition on the basis of links between the attackers and various right wing anti-lockdown groups that themselves have indirect links to actual opposition figures like Pato Bullrich. On the other, many oppositionists (and, by some polls, a majority of Argentines) think that Kirchner orchestrated the attack herself to try to win popularity, pointing to the fact that the apparent mastermind's entire family is ultra-Kirchnerist, including members of state security and her own father having pictures taken with Alberto himself. Some also believe that the shooter might have intentionally not loaded a bullet into the chamber and that it was all a publicity stunt rather than attempted assassination.

Regardless, just the media coverage of the story was enough to turn everything into a farce. In no particular order, this includes

* Interviewing a girl who become modestly viral for kissing doctors during the pandemic, who used the opportunity to ask for a sugar daddy live on TV
* Long shots of cotton candy towers moving through crowds overlaid with dramatic music
* Interviewing an acquaintance of the shooter who said "I think he meant to shoot Cristina but unfortunately he was unprepared"
* Using the attacker's girlfriend's OnlyFans as a source of pictures for official broadcasts
* An interview that went viral for being interrupted by an impromptu performance of "Ya Soshla S Uma" followed by "Our leaders have forgotten that they're flesh and blood!"

The absurdity has made it basically impossible for the government to make much of the situation and additionally made the several hundred "security guards" under CFK's employ look totally inept. Though it has laid the potential foundations of a great Netflix adaptation and might be one of the wackiest assassination attempts of the past century.