It's pretty difficult to square the welfare state with the objective of promoting "family values" in the traditional sense. In truth, the welfare state promotes alternative family structures and reduces the strength of traditional family structures by granting women more autonomy. One has to look at families as an economic arrangement; they have been throughout human history and they remain economic arrangements. As a result, social programs will necessarily change the shape/structure of households/families. After all, families were the original social safety net and the creation of the social safety nets/insurance schemes of the 20th Century almost certainly played a role in dramatically altering families.
I think the way we square that circle is to tweak the incentives in the welfare system to strongly encourage 2-parent households and marriage in order to retain or get additional benefits. I agree that both markets and the welfare system can have disruptive effects on the nuclear family, so the socon position should be to direct government action toward the preservation of that institution.
That sounds easy but, in practice, it could produce a lot of perverse effects. I suppose, what I'm trying to say, is that there isn't an easy way to utilize public policy to produce particular cultural or social outcomes. I'm sure that the marriage rate would increase if various welfare benefits were attached to marriage but would those marriages be "de jure" and not "de facto"? Would those marriages be healthy or expressions of your notion of "family values"? I don't think so!
Keep in mind that I'm actually sympathetic to "social conservatism" insofar as a few Christians on this forum, who are genuinely concerned about families and do not simply use the term "family values" to refer to gay marriage or abortion, use the term. In a certain sense, I share your concerns but from a different angle that treats "families" as a very broad term that encompasses any sort of tight-knit, intimate, long-term social group. Unfortunately, the same problems are present as far as that concerned: how can social policy build a stronger sense of community or stronger/long-lasting social networks? I'm not sure but it's a difficult challenge.
Policies that I think that "social conservatives" ought to consider and policies that I support:
-paid daycare/tax credits for parents to finance daycare(if you think that mothers should be in the labor market, that is)
-universal, free preschool
-some sort of access to a universal trust that's given to every parent per child; there could be a sovereign wealth fund in the vein of norway and proceeds from this could finance the trust. at "majority" age, the child would receive a second "trust" but the parents would receive the first.
-increased funding of public recreational facilities, which would give families a better means to give their children an enjoyable/healthy upbringing.