Update XVIII: 15 Miles From Lunch

[King]

Did you take a nap today?

I imagine he's taking one right now... he's watching a terrible MNF matchup nobody in their right minds would care about while "interview prepping."

[King]

it's getting a little to close for comfort now:

www.theonion.com/articles/man-coasting-through-life-entirely-benefit-doubt,37229/

[King]

Pizza delivery is for plebeians.

[King]

That was fast!!!  They told me it would take a week or two to get a decision.  However, I stopped here at the McDonalds on the turnpike headed to Tulsa and had a call from my recruiter saying they want to offer me the job!!!!  I, of course, accepted.  The call and email I received were already 25 minutes old so they must have deliberated for 10 minutes or so!!

Can I join the PM list for the name of this company? I'm interested in knowing more.

[King]

So, what have you learned from your prior CAD employment that you will apply to this job on  Day 1?

[King]

Bushie, will you at least promise to only watch college football games between two Top 25 opponents and pro football games of the Dallas Cowboys? Just get rid of those whogivesacrap games at least.

[King]

Schedule a specific time of day everyday that you absolutely will study CAD. In fact, ask your new supervisor if you could spend time off the clock using the company computer after work to do some practice CAD time. It will look good coming from a new employee and guarantee you so it instead of in the comforts of home.

[King]

Yeah, he sent me the company name and I'm pretty sure I found the exact job posting he got in OKC on their website.

It's a short term drafting position that only requires an associates degree (which he beats) and some experience, which he technically has enough of as a drafter and also his Northrop Grumann history on his resume (I assume he put it on this application) They seem to be looking for multiple people so maybe they aren't going to be very discerning. It also makes a big deal about being an affirmative action employer, so saying yes to being American Indian (again I'm assuming on his application) might have done him some good.

It all checks out here. I think we've moved past the scam job era of Update. The real question is whether Bushie can hold down this pretty good legitimate job.

[King]

One thing about this company is that it's such a big operation (they mention CAD workstations) that you better cross your Ts and dot your Is on your work. It's likely going to be a mill operation where bad employees are purged fast. I imagine they are going to do metrics on you rather than have eye test personal supervision of your work. If your output is subpar, you'll be brought into the office for a talk pretty quick.

[King]

Wouldn't it be typical Update satire if his drug cocktail for his Grade 8 ailments combined makes his urine sample seem like meth?

[King]

What about this time, Gramps?

[King]

lol #ClassicBushie

[King]

It's a collaborative effort, Walter. Bushie racks up the debt and his parents pay it off. We.

[King]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-released-after-being-wrongfully-employed,37251/

[King]

I believe Papa is the one who will be doing most of the working on the bills.

[King]

I think I was more self-reliant when I was 12 than Bushie is at 32.

[King]

Also, I like how he's going to drive to Tulsa on Friday's and live in that apartment for no reason.

[King]

what was Bushie wearing at his previous job if he didn't have enough business casual clothes to last more than three days?

[King]

You are telling me that you dont own a pair of khakis or can't buy something off the rack.  You dont need a bloody tailor...

I've got 3 pair of slacks, I need one more to be comfortable.  I usually wear one pair twice depending on how dirty or sweaty I get.

Why the f*** do you need to go shopping with mommy?  You're THIRTY F***** TWO..

Secndly, FFS why the F*** do you need to have your pants hemmed??  If its a suit, ok I get it, but for Business Casaul? WTF??

Only swine who deserve minimum wage wear untailored pants off the rack. The Crown Prince of OKC deserves only the best.

[King]

Also, if he's just going to live with his parents/grandmother why even care about making $10 or $15/hr? There is no easing of burden here.

So many questions I have.

[King]

Bushie does not plan to thrive until the afterlife.

[King]

Naps included, how many hours does Bushie sleep on average per day? 10? 12?

[King]

Bushie, do you plan on using your Tulsa apartment as a weekend love cave for a potential new woman? Perhaps finally create a Bushie Jr. to get your child tax credit going?

[King]

woohoo

[King]

Hence the issue with people like Bushie. They don't make plans or work incrementally towards goals, because they think there is an individual plan that God has determined. Why work on yourself, when God will do it for you?

it is a team effort.  God and me.

God is doing his part: giving you a few potential wives, giving decent entry level jobs, giving you a family with the resources to fund your education, your boarding, your trips to kenya. And you've done nothing but be lazy and waste every opportunity.

Lousy teamwork.