Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[King]

Do asst managers work sections of the store? Bushie should definitely try to work in electronics. He might be helpful there.

Target's atmosphere is definitely better than WalMart, but that's because Target is setup more like a department store while WalMart feels more like a giant grocery store.

[King]

Isn't Target just Wal-Mart with warmer lighting, slightly less downscale clothing, and the occasional attached Starbucks?

You act like those are minor details.

[King]

I have a WalMart credit card and buy a lot of stuff online from them. Interest free for three to six months on purchases.

[King]

With WalMart, Bushie also won't have the excuse that Braum's was more convenient than going all the way to the grocery store.

[King]

Bacon King certainly thinks he can.

The Wal Mart website says an assistant manager is a trainee position with requirements only being "2 or more years of college; OR 1 year retail experience."

I don't think he's actually supervising anyone. It seems more like a fancy title for "guy who checks IDs on alcohol purchases and can be trusted to unlock the video game and cough syrup cases."

[King]

No, J-Mann, his boss was just cranky, you see.

[King]

The baseball game will end at about 11 pm CT. You won't do AutoCAD tonight. You'll fall asleep.

[King]

I think all of us would be fine with Bushie putting the job search aside and seeking psychiatric treatment. He chooses not to take that path. There's nothing we can do about it. Instead, we advise him on how to live without it.

We also definitely feel empathy for him. In a strange way, he is an everyman character. He is every one of our negative aspects (gluttony, sloth, pride, etc) taken to its most extreme.

[King]

How can you expect him to get hired if he can't small talk the interviewer about the results of the NL Wild Card game?!?

[King]

I too predict Bushie's world will come to an end in 7-10 years.

[King]

Enjoy your several family dinners and vacation, Bushie. You earned it.

[King]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFozbmEH_kc

[King]

I can put ice in glasses after recalling the steps.

[King]

Bushie's entire life is a polite obstacle course.

[King]

Bushie can just tell Mama an old friend from college lives in KC and wants to see him.

[King]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRQs32j-dZk

[King]

One thing I do envy about Bushie is that his perception of time is still very childlike where days last forever and 7-10 years is a long ways off.

I wish my life moved that slowly.

[King]

Only one serving of dinner + dessert = very little appetite?

Instead of a second serving of dinner?  I wasn't even full when I finished eating.

One serving of dinner is considered everyday life for most people, not being ill.

[King]

Wait Bushie has been normally eating two servings for dinner this whole time???

Well that explains a lot.

Well, the body doesn't get to 300 lbs without being forced in some way.

[King]

Bushie's diet is definitely more frustrating to me than his job problem.  I imagine we've all done hard weight loss before, fasting to lose that pesky ten pounds, eating a light salad when we wanted more, hitting the gym when we weren't feeling up to it. That's hard work and easy to sympathize.

But all Bushie has to do to lose 120 lbs is eat like a normal person. He probably eats more on days when he "diets" than any of us to do unconsciously.  He talks about enjoying himself, but I don't think the height of me enjoying myself: college, pounding beers, getting taco bell at 3am, ever put away as many calories as he does on a daily basis.

[King]

32 oz Pepsi and Coke to keep you hydrated. You're trolling the inks out of me, friend.

[King]

I don't dare drink water on the road, especially on the turnpike where there are only two places to use the restroom.   Pepsi and/or Coke doesn't make me go to the bathroom as much as water.

You're male. The world is your pissing ground.

There's a ton wrong with it Bushie. Hydration is about balance with water in your system. Pepsi has sugar, caffeine, and a little sodium, all of which de-hydrates you. But worst of all, it causes you to miss out on the joy of drinking a Coke/Pepsi. Fill up your thirst with 24 oz of water, and 8oz of Pepsi becomes a delightful tasting treat. Instead, your taste buds are completely numb. I bet you don't even know what Pepsi really tastes like.

[King]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_1y_avH20Q&list=PLLE0YYaxTcEKxDJZ6nd3dLRh6u55MbnXo

12 seconds in and I was clockwatching. There's no way Bushie wasn't forced to do this by Papa.

[King]

Please elaborate on what you plan on doing to prepare for your interview tomorrow.

[King]

I hope this is a rushed interview like the last one. Bushie struggled through actual ones before he landed the last job.