Update XVI: Sidejackin' it in the Train Room.

[King]

Braum's is the miracle cure!

[King]

BTW - does anyone find it hilarious that he's going from a happy-clappy-literalist church, to come home and watch Big Brother?

I'm not familiar with the show. Does it feature shenanigans of which Jesus would not approve?

Meh, it's pretty PG. It seems like the kind of show gossipy church ladies would indulge.

[King]

God invented refridgerators and ziploc for a reason, Bushie. You don't need to cleanup all the meat.

[King]

At the very least, him making his bacon cheeseburgers at home would save him a ton of money.

I would say the cooking lessons from a far are the most futile thing we could ever pursue. All I can recommend to Bushie is maybe watch some cooking TV shows. Good Eats with Alton Brown is a pretty good place to start.

Also, I just realized for Bushie to be watching and recording these kind of out of market sports games and shows that he does he must have the Ultimate Premium cable/internet package. So frugal!

[King]

If you have trouble recalling, the instructions are written on the back of the package.

[King]

Quick Bushie go get some Braum's in that belly and hit that project hard. You can finish it!

[King]

Marinades are great and easy. But Bushie won't do it for some reason I can already tell you.

[King]

The most elementary question for the whole cooking thing is if he's ever used kitchen knives.

If Mama doesn't let him touch the stove, I doubt he's ever chopped an onion. If he's going to do any meat other than eggs or ground beef, he's going to have to trim it.

Nothing he says he can cook requires any sort of measurement or prep.

He probably needs measuring cups, too.

[King]

If Eskimo Joe can cook, than so can Bushie!

Procrastination on buying pots, pans, and other "cooking gear" is probably another reason he hasn't touched his oven/stove either.

[King]

He can probably make some decent convo at a dive sports bar.

And you don't have to drink alcohol.

[King]

I'm guessing Bushie is a double or triple whopper man.

[King]

Bushie, you should do the ice bucket challenge in similar fashion as you diet.

Ease in by taking a warm shower first and then eventually work up to forgetting all about doing it.

[King]

The ice bucket is supposed to be an awareness campaign by celebrities to get non-celebrities to donate money for ALS. As the star of Update, you are obligated to make us non-celebrity Atlas posters aware.

[King]

A new updateism!

I'm watching the Braum's "Our Milk is Special" episode now! Good stuff!

Their fat free milk seems pretty revolutionary.

[King]

He's done for. RIP.

[King]

Lunch time.  The day isn't going quite as well, but it's still very good.  My boss is overall pleased with my work, I just need to pick up the pace in my learning.  I've got a lot of stuff yet to learn, and I need to learn faster.  Otherwise, I am doing great.

Well, this must have been uncomfortable, but it's good that he gave you constructive feedback. Can I ask what he's suggesting for improvement?

"I suggest you start looking for new employment."

[King]

It's a 4.48, close to being a low grade 5 but still classified as a 4 in rounding.

[King]

More common sense needs to be exercised?

It's over.

[King]

We even started laughing at some of the corrections that the engineers sent back. 

oh no.  this is an ominous sign.  remember when the family bushie were laughing over papa bushie's diabetes diagnosis?  it was a real knee-slapper.

Yeah, "my boss laughs at the quality of my work" isn't exactly good.

He's not close to getting fired but at this pace it's not looking good for him to go from trainee wage to employee salary

[King]

Corporate Worship is the Update Meme of the Week.

[King]

Hey, guys, I am nearing the 10 pound weight loss mark.  I've lost officially 9.4 lbs coming in at 283.6.

Congrats, you're almost down to linebacker weight.

A 6'2" linebacker's weight.

[King]

You're very good at might probably could should consider perhaps doing something that won't lead to your early death.

[King]

Bushie, you should put some Green Giant Broccoli with Cheese Sauce in the microwave some time. Or maybe some Buttery Snap Peas.

I know, I know, you're considering it.

[King]

Bushie, you should put some Green Giant Broccoli with Cheese Sauce in the microwave some time. Or maybe some Buttery Snap Peas.

I know, I know, you're considering it.

Considering I loathe broccoli, then its safe to say, I'm not even considering it.

Of course you loathe it, it's not a bacon cheeseburger. That's why I said broccoli with cheese sauce.

[King]

Don't worry guys he'll be replacing those microwaved pizza rolls with grilled pizza rolls soon enough. That's what healthy eating is, right?