Update XVI: Sidejackin' it in the Train Room.

[King]

Yeah, we're really slacking at engaging the plot here. Bushie has told us today he screwed up at work, Allison dumped him for not pleasing her intimately, and he gorged on chocolate cake that he knows will give him a Grade 7 headache tomorrow.

This is like third act climax pace tonight. A surprise finale might be around the corner (RIP Bushie).

[King]

Bushie brought up his sex life. I don't get what's wrong with board games, though I prefer poker.

The chocolate cake with ice cream combined with chocolate pudding for lunch is more egregious.

[King]

If Bushie loses this job over chocolate induced headaches, he needs to check into rehab. He's an addict.

[King]

Due to not having anything to do when I first get there as I am between projects, I have decided to go in at 0800 instead of 0730 tomorrow.  I'll still get off at 1630.  My boss doesn't usually get there until 0815 or 0830 so I don't want to spend 45-60 minutes of my shift doing nothing.

Uh oh...

What's going on?

Nothing.  I'm just in between projects right now, so I don't have anything to do until he gives me a new project to work on.   I don't want to waste his time by going in at 0730.  I'd rather go in at 0800 which is closer to the time he arrives so I can waste as little of his time as possible.

Aren't you the guy who chose to come to work 45 minutes early to, what was it, go to the bathroom, do some bible study, lubricate your throat with some Dr. Pepper, boot the computer, and do general unnecessary things?

I may have done that before, though not to that extreme, but it was not on company time and has not been in this job.

Booting your computer and going to the bathroom are things that can be done on the clock and should be.

[King]

I sort of love/hate mornings. If I don't wake up at 6:30, I want to sleep in until 11:30 but I like waking up at 6:30 when I do.

And if I don't go to bed at 10:30, I won't be tired again until 2 am.

That's my Bushie-level quirk.

[King]

You would think after all these years and hours of Bible study Bushie would have the whole thing down by memory.

[King]

Onion strikes again

http://www.theonion.com/articles/im-always-open-to-feedback-that-i-can-get-defensiv,36671/

[King]

The Onion is located in Chicago. Has Boris told us what he does for a living?

[King]

I love how bushie considers lunchables and beef stew light meals

Yeah. His idea of healthy food is even less healthy than the burgers, which at least have lettuce and tomato on them.

[King]

Bushie have you considered botox injections for your headaches? I'm back in Texas and watching TV, and they have all these advertisements here that you don't see when you watch shows on your computer, and one of them is for botox injections for people with chronic headaches. The website is: botoxchronicmigraine.com.

I have not considered that, yet.  To me that's a last resort if they become completely uncontrollable.  They're not to that point, yet, thankfully.

Why is a legitimate medical treatment a "last resort" to you? You know it's not the same type of injections people get for cosmetic reasons, yes?

If you've been missing work due to your headaches, they're seriously impacting your life. You should talk to your doctor about them and get his opinion.

Bushie doesn't trust poison you can't inject orally.

[King]

Supermarket delis can offer great cheap premade meals for lunch. Unless I'm doing something with coworkers, I usually walk to a nearby Albertson's for my lunch break. Today I had a portion of rotisserie chicken (leg and breast) for $2.75 and paired it with a $1.25 snack pack of baby carrots, broccoli, and snap peas with ranch dressing. $4 lunch.

Way better than lunchables in health, portion, and flavor.

[King]

Bushie doesn't eat baby carrots, broccoli or snap peas though.

No. He's planning to do so eventually, strongly considering it, and easing into it rather than starting cold turkey.

[King]

It was a graph of reported weight. I can't imagine it fluctuates as much as he claims when he has no diet variety and exercises never.

[King]

Bushie would've been a hell of a weightlifter. His ability to digest extreme amounts of protein and his OCD planning attitude would've served him well.

It's probably too late now. He has too much fat on him, but if he had any sort of drive for it when he was younger it would've been something.

[King]

This was his lunch.....look at the sodium and fat content....ugh

I'm sure he ate more than a cup too.

1 package is 400 cal, 20 g protein. Not too bad. And there's a good amount Vitamin A and C in it.

The sodium and fat is bad, but since he's on the fast lane to death anyway, I think high blood pressure for weight loss would be a good trade off.

Keep eating the terrible canned soups Bushie!

[King]

It probably tastes better, too. The logo looks like it should be on a bottle of bleach, but beggars can't be choosers in getting Bushie to eat less than 4000 calories a day.

[King]

Bushie dropped $100-150 of his student loan money on "walking gear," which is presumably really expensive Reeboks that he doesn't wear and maybe some shorts that nobody wants to see him wear.

Treating things normal people do like walking, drinking water, and eating a meal without beef as Olympian activities which require intense training and expensive equipment is a major Update motif.

[King]

Still, most soul feed has some collard greens, rhubarb, and okra.

The Bushie clan's aversion to produce is extreme for all cultures.

[King]

Football? That preseason game between Jacksonville and Chicago?

Bushie, that's pointless television even for you. Watch a baseball game instead please

[King]

I don't know guys, Braum's propaganda videos make a pretty convincing case that they're not to blame for Bushie not eating healthy. link

Every Braum's has a produce market, they own their own farms, and have a salad menu. It's about as close to a Whole Foods as Oklahoma can provide to its citizens.

[King]

They seem to be looking to modernize. The new website and their new TV ads they posted in June are definitely more 2014.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3hFlwm26Vc

[King]

I don't know guys, Braum's propaganda videos make a pretty convincing case that they're not to blame for Bushie not eating healthy. link

Every Braum's has a produce market, they own their own farms, and have a salad menu. It's about as close to a Whole Foods as Oklahoma can provide to its citizens.

Wait Braum's sells salads and produce and Bushie is still getting their bacon cheeseburgers instead?!?! Well if Braum's itself can't make Bushie eat healthy, then I don't think there's much hope.

Remember when we got Bushie to try a chicken sandwich one time and it was "so bad" that he had to go get a burger for dinner with regular Dr. Pepper to cleanse it out of his system?

[King]

I forgot. So Bushie doesn't like chicken?

I appears so. If I recall, we didn't even specify he had to get the grilled chicken. It was fried and he still didn't like it.

A real shame, too. Braum's salads look terrific

[King]

It's like if a Trader Joe's mated with a Dairy Queen. What a great American business.

Shame the wedding is off. The reception catered by Braum's would've been great no doubt.

[King]

Thick, rich skim milk? This sounds like a scientific breakthrough. It's like hearing somebody cured cancer.

I might have to drive to Oklahoma now.