Have you actually read the Bible?

[KEmperor]

Well, I sat down with one and decided to try.  I got about halfway though Genesis, couldn't maintain my suspension of disbelief, and had to stop.  That happens sometimes with fiction, if the beginning is too unbelievable, I can't continue the book.

[KEmperor]

One Gospel, the Book of Matthew. A great many of it I didn't understand, so I've put it off.

Although some of the "stories" -- I mean, compact verses that describe one particular instance in Jewish history, not the (incredibly rude) KEmperor/opebo slur -- are interesting unto themselves. E.g. The degenerate and apostatic priest Balaam and his Talking Ass, which was absolutely unlike the Children's Bible version.

Why are you comparing me to opebo?

[KEmperor]

One Gospel, the Book of Matthew. A great many of it I didn't understand, so I've put it off.

Although some of the "stories" -- I mean, compact verses that describe one particular instance in Jewish history, not the (incredibly rude) KEmperor/opebo slur -- are interesting unto themselves. E.g. The degenerate and apostatic priest Balaam and his Talking Ass, which was absolutely unlike the Children's Bible version.

Why are you comparing me to opebo?

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I've read Genesis, and it IS very fantastical, whether you believe it or not - seems to me KEmperor just can't get himself into books that are too far off from the realism he's used to. And let's be fair here - opebo wouldn't even bother making an attempt to read the Bible.

The cavalier dismissal of the whole Bible as fiction was what really irritated me.

Fine, you're an atheist. Then simply say, "I tried to read the Bible but I didn't believe it so I stopped". No sense adding your (offensive) value judgement on its worth, too.

To scorn a text that's been the basis of Western civilization, and which even today still animates the decency of so many people, like it's a comic book ... wow, I'm at a loss for words to describe my disgust.

Amazing, since I can't really call myself Christian, either.

No, it had absolutely nothing to do with whether I believe it to be true or not.  I was criticising it on literary grounds, I found the first chapter too hard to get through and so I stopped.  It's happened before with other books.

And it's not so much realism as the way it was presented.

[KEmperor]

I have read it several times and am in the process of translating my own version.

That is wrong 100% wrong.. God made the Bible who are you to make a version? No one....

The stuff that comes out of your mouth sometimes....

The version that you've probably read?  It's a translation.  See people didn't speak modern English back thousands of years ago.  They didn't even speak English at all.  Hell, all the stuff in the bible didn't even take place in an English speaking country!  So unless you are fluent in both Ancient Greek and Hebrew, you are being a total hypocrite.