Rural population loss is a sore spot that runs deep in the American psyche. The agrarian myth was woven into the country's folklore and nationalist ideology from the very beginning of our push to develop the continent. Going back to the industrialization of the 19th century, there's been a lot of angst about the urbanization trend being the end of the American dream of self-sufficiency, the ability to produce and enjoy a simple abundance, honest industry, a frank spirit of equality, and so on. One of my favorite songs is "Good Time Charlie's Got the Blues", which I feel captures the existential dread of life in a dead-end small town perfectly. When communities are already ravaged by natural disasters like the 1930s Dust Bowl and man-made ones like the farm debt problem of the 1980s, and the children who the communities hope will keep their way of life alive want to leave, it understandably makes the ones whose life and pride revolves around a familial identity of land ownership pretty resentful. Democrats needed at least some of the Reagan Democrats' votes until pretty recently, so yeah, of course they had less leeway to be a snob and tell the farmers or the coal miners to learn to code.
Cities, especially the bigger ones, have a different mass creed of constant reinvention and dynamism. Telling New York City to drop dead doesn't hit them quite as hard- they know there's no real danger of that happening anyway. Smallville, not so much. There's plenty of proud history in the cities too of course, but those voters aren't as likely to feel so bad about packing up and moving for a better life.
I agree with your general point, but one could argue someone who lives in a city feels like their preferred way of life is under attack, because America has been built this idea of things being spread out, having a car, ect. I always worry something unique to urban lifestyle such as the NYC Subway is always at risk of completely falling apart due to the lack of emphasis placed on it by the larger state and federal gov. At both levels, it currently gets way less per capita investment than roads, but in a hypothetical world where America prided itself on dense walkable cities, I'm sure it'd be in much better shape.
"walkable cities" is such a european concept, keep that away from the good ol' US of A. Cars are as widespread as they are because the average person organically supports such an idea. It is freeing in a way that public transport never will be. I think the subway is nice but I would not shed a tear if it were to disappear.
