It's a two way street.
On the internet, people don't really know you or get your irony. It's totally fine among friends to make an ironic joke that you know won't hurt anyone's feelings. But, with something like a disability, you should be conscientious and realize that you can really hurt someone's feelings. Imagine people who have real issues or family members who are disabled. You can transport those people to a moment where they were being made fun of or dredge up awful stuff.
On the other hand, people need to try to take things in the spirit in which its intended. People shouldn't try to totally censor jokes or ideas, without understanding the context. There is a problem with people actively trying to be offended and play gotcha on pretty innocent slips of the tongue. And, we should all try to understand people in an honest, fair way.
All that said, I find it distasteful that some people want to put the entire burden on the listener. As if it's up to them to find out what you really think and feel, as opposed to what you said. Is it really that hard to think before you speak and question whether you need to use loaded, powerful language in public or casual conversation? Is it that hard not to say "retard" when you mean "stupid" or "dumb?" For me, I really don't mind editing those words because I think disabled people have it hard enough and it's extremely easy to just watch what I say a bit.
But what if you don't want to offend the dumb or stupid? What word would you use then?
