Comedy Goldmine & Robin

[Badger]

Our inability to find women and minorities on the internets means this forum is also sexist and racist.

Nah, just clueless.

[Badger]

Yeah, he killed 3 Goldmines in a row.   It was a record.

Anyway... more postings from Jokelahoma:

I heard a good line last night on the Chinese head of state's visit to the White House. To paraphrase "Tomorrow night's official state dinner will be catered by Panda Express."  For those of you who aren't familiar with Panda Express, it is a Chinese fast food chain.  I thought that was pretty funny!!

BushOK was the only person to make that funny.

Nonsense, Phil. That's cutting edge comedy in the Sooner State.

There and Branson.

[Badger]

A rare Goldmine worthy post from Atlasia.

Your Majesty, Reality or Nothing Act is on your desk.

Signed, and don't call me Your Majesty.  Mr. President will suffice.

Of course, Your Majesty. I will call Your Majesty Mr. President, if Your Majesty wishes to.

[Badger]

Not even close.

Anglosphere highlighted for easier comparison.

By healthy years:

# 1      Japan:    73.6 years     
# 2      Switzerland:    72.8 years     
# 3      Sweden:    71.8 years     
# 4      Australia:    71.6 years    
# 5      France:    71.3 years     
# 6      Iceland:    71.1 years     
= 7      Austria:    71 years     
= 7      Italy:    71 years     
# 9      Spain:    70.9 years     
# 10      Norway:    70.8 years     
# 11      Luxembourg:    70.6 years     
# 12      Greece:    70.4 years     
# 13      New Zealand:    70.3 years
# 14      Germany:    70.2 years     
= 15      Finland:    70.1 years     
= 15      Denmark:    70.1 years     
= 17      Canada:    69.9 years
= 17      Netherlands:    69.9 years     
# 19      Belgium:    69.7 years     
# 20      United Kingdom:    69.6 years
# 21      Ireland:    69 years     
# 22      United States:    67.6 years

By overall life expectancy:

# 1      Macau:    84.33 years     
# 2      Andorra:    82.67 years     
# 3      Japan:    82.07 years     
# 4      Singapore:    81.89 years        
# 5      San Marino:    81.88 years     
# 6      Hong Kong:    81.77 years     
# 7      Australia:    81.53 years     
# 8      Canada:    81.16 years   
# 9      France:    80.87 years     
= 10      Switzerland:    80.74 years 
= 10      Sweden:    80.74 years 
# 12      Guernsey:    80.65 years     
# 13      Israel:    80.61 years 
# 14      Iceland:    80.55 years     
# 15      Anguilla:    80.53 years     
# 16      Cayman Islands:    80.32 years 
# 17      New Zealand:    80.24 years
# 18      Italy:    80.07 years     
# 19      Gibraltar:    80.06 years 
# 20      Monaco:    79.96 years 
# 21      Liechtenstein:    79.95 years     
# 22      Spain:    79.92 years     
# 23      Norway:    79.81 years     
# 24      Jersey:    79.65 years     
# 25      Greece:    79.52 years     
# 26      Austria:    79.36 years     
# 27      Malta:    79.3 years     
# 28      Faroe Islands:    79.29 years     
# 29      Netherlands:    79.25 years     
= 30      Luxembourg:    79.18 years    
= 30      Martinique:    79.18 years
# 32      Germany:    79.1 years    
# 33      Belgium:    79.07 years
# 34      Guam:    78.93 years
# 35      Virgin Islands:    78.92 years
# 36      Saint Pierre and Miquelon:    78.91 years   
# 37      United Kingdom:    78.85 years
# 38      Finland:    78.82 years     
# 39      Man, Isle of:    78.8 years        
# 40      Jordan:    78.71 years     
# 41      Korea, South:    78.64 years     
# 42      Puerto Rico:    78.58 years     
# 43      Bosnia and Herzegovina:    78.33 years 
# 44      Bermuda:    78.3 years        
# 45      Saint Helena:    78.27 years 
# 46      Cyprus:    78.15 years
# 47      United States:    78.14 years
# 48      Denmark:    78.13 years
# 49      Ireland:    78.07 years

FWIW, Victoria by itself has a life expectancy of 83.8 years. ACT is about the same.

Good god man.  It's as though someone claimed to have the longest dick, and you said, "No, I shall offer a compendium of ball diameters and as you can see, I clearly have the largest ones."

Surely, you can't be serious.

Not that I know of any objective measure for the claim that you, and others, are trying to make.  But it certainly isn't supported by the list you have provided.

If only we were comparing dick lengths.  That is fairly straightforward, wouldn't you agree?

[Badger]

From the How Do You Party thread:

Nope nope, just calmly. Always the best way, because then you can remember it.

Haha, party calmly.  I like it

"Break out the kegger, but shh everybody, use your library voices!"

[Badger]

anyone here old enough to remember when he was first elected? I was born in the 80s, so I don't remember. I believe he unseated Vance Hartke in 76, who, until then, was the luckiest senator ever.

I remember when Lugar was elected mayor of Indianapolis.

Torie also worked as a volunteer during William Henry Harrison campaigns.

[Badger]

wtf are "Asian Values"?

Never ever give up in war unless you are nuked.

[Badger]

Actually, according to most studies, males of the Mongoloid race do have the smallest average penis size. However it is a myth that Negroids (or Blacks) have the largest penis on average. The truth according to most studies and scholars is that the Caucasoid (or White) race has the largest average penis size.

One factor is that the Mongoloid race (also called the Oriental or Yellow race) is physically the smallest race in general.

Mongoloid? Negroid? Caucasoid? I was unaware that we've gone back in time to 1920.

A silly Mussulmann like yourself would say that.

[Badger]

I heard some newsman say if Libya turns into a failure Obama might lose because of it

Well if anyone should know, it's that guy.

[Badger]

Uh, so an overenthusiastic supporter said some stupid things? So what? I could bring up that scene in Jesus Camp where the kids are basically told to pray to a cardboard cutout of Bush.

Touching a Bush cutout?  Big deal.  Naso actually penetrated one.

[Badger]

Context needed (and worth it)

Not bad.

I still would have gone with Dennis Hopper.

Dennis Hopper is dead, yo.

So?

[Badger]

Like most things, this exercise is a classic example of the dilemmas faced by upper middle class white kids in College Republicans who just know that, if they had been born to a single black mom in Detroit they would have founded Google by now, but affirmative action has prevented them from realizing their true potential, forcing them to attend... gasp! Purdue!

[Badger]

Who the f**k is Jack Kingston?

The congressman from Georgia's 1st district, first elected in 1992. Basically a generic Republican.

So he hates women, gays and equality?

Must not feed the troll...

You should eat.

[Badger]

From the GOP Presidential Nominee Prediction Thread:

It will be the one that is NOT pro-abortion, hah, or pro-gun control, or pro-gay rights, or pro-health care, or pro-polygamy.

Yes, we need a candidate who is against health care.