The Comedy Goldmine

[Antonio the Sixth]

Yeah those kittehs are meaning full, Dr. J.

The kitteh on the left represents the proletariat, while the kitteh on the right represents the bourgeois (like the guy in your sig if he were a cat). Bourgeois Kitteh sits idly by, content and secure in his ownership of the means of production, and contributes nothing while profiting from the surplus value of Proletarian Kitteh's labor. Proletarian Kitteh has begun to achieve class consciousness however she has not fully freed herself from capitalist ideology.  As the gif begins, Proletarian Kitteh approaches Bourgeois Kitteh and begins to demand an end to her oppression. This shocks the complacent Bourgeois Kitteh, who awakens to his slumber and threatens Proletarian Kitteh with all the forces of the Capitalist machine, from the state to business to the church. Bourgeois Kitteh promises Proletarian Kitteh that if she dares to question her oppression, she will face unemployment, starvation, and imprisonment in this life and damnation in the next. Proletarian Kitteh is frightened into submission and feebly runs away back to working for her bosses. What Proletarian Kitteh does not realize is that she has nothing to lose but her chains, and a world to win. In this way, the gif is a representation of the plight of the working class in the modern advanced capitalist world.

Working kittehs of the world, unite!

[Antonio the Sixth]

Always knew the Republicans were compensating for something when they wanted big guns

[Antonio the Sixth]

Who?

[Antonio the Sixth]

... are you kidding me? Have you not heard of the Carter Center and its election monitoring programs?

I've heard of the Jimmy Carter who constantly coddles up to terrorists.

[Antonio the Sixth]

[Antonio the Sixth]

No, they HAVE TO run and win NOW.

Capriles CAN win this.

Assuming Maduro throws a few kids into the Orinoco river and Capriles is nearby, jumps in and rescues all of them.

[Antonio the Sixth]

The constitution gives me the right to sculpt toaster pastries into gun shaped objects with the first amendment and it gives me the right to bear them with the second. Anyone who doesn't agree is a communist.

[Antonio the Sixth]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=170505

[Antonio the Sixth]

He would be banned as a Socrates sock.

[Antonio the Sixth]

What are his positions on women ?

Generally against.

Came here to post that.

[Antonio the Sixth]

What are his positions on women ?

Generally against.

Came here to post that.

That's not really funny.  Funny would have been to answer "missionary".

You're posting it in the Goldmine already! That's cheating!

[Antonio the Sixth]

Plato would be hated on the election boards, as his longwinded posts, featuring dialogues between semi-fictional characters, would constantly dismiss the importance of electoral politics and try to steer the conversation toward justice.

GLAUCON: Isn't it good luck that we've run into you, Socrates, on our way to the Agora. We're in the middle of a seeming intractable dispute that you can help us with.
SOCRATES: What is your dispute about?
GLAUCON: It's about who will carry North Carolina in the 2012 American presidential election.
TENDERBRANSON: I say Barack Obama will probably win. The newest poll has him leading by 3 points.
UMENGUS: Everyone knows that's just junk. That poll has a sample 7 points more Democratic than the electorate of North Carolina in 2010.
TORIES: I wouldn't put it so strongly as Umengus, but another poll from Rasmussen does have Mitt Romney leading by 2 points. We just can't be sure at this point.
SOCRATES: So one poll says that Obama is leading, and another says that Romney is leading?
GLAUCON: That's right.
SOCRATES: Now, can it be that in the real election, both candidates are the winner?
GLAUCON: No, that couldn't be.
SOCRATES: So it must be that the polls do not capture the form of the election in its true nature, but only a changeable appearance of it?
GLAUCON: That must be right.
TENDERBRANSON: Your logic is clear, Socrates.
TORIES: That's how it is.
SOCRATES: So perhaps another approach would be better. Now, North Carolina voted Republican in 2004 and Democratic in 2008, did it not?
TENDERBRANSON: Yes.
SOCRATES: Would we not say that if a man is to be a lover of wisdom and have harmony in his soul, the rational and philosophical part of his soul should be in command?
GLAUCON: Clearly.
SOCRATES: So should we not look to North Carolina's most rational and philosophical citizens?
TORIES: Well, North Carolina has a lot of high-income seculars, working as computer programmers in Raleigh or bankers in Charlotte, and these I think will trend hard to Romney. This is why I think Romney will carry North Carolina.
SOCRATES: Who are these "high-income seculars" of which you speak, Tories?
TORIES: They are people like me, who've made lots of money filing suit in the court of Argon and trading with the Persians, and who don't believe that there are any gods.
GLAUCON: Wait, what? Surely we all believe in the gods atop Mount Olympus.
TORIES: No, not me.
JMFCSTES: There is only one God. Currently He is only worshiped by the Jews, but four hundred years from now he will send his only son to redeem us all. For it will be written, in a few centuries: "yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live."
BRTDES: No way I'd believe that. Maybe after a couple of thousand years their services will get more interesting, but for the first nineteen centuries or so it will be just a bunch of old men talking. Why would I go for that when I could go see the hot new Oracle of Delphi predict the future while waving her hands in the air?
NATHANES: I too believe that there is just one God, but the truly sophisticated position is to realize that the importance about religion lies not in the so-called objective truth-value of whatever metaphysical theses about the external world it might be interpreted as making, but rather in its providing structure and guidance to a personal spirituality that I recognize also is present with many adherents of Olympian polytheism.
GLAUCON: Now I'm totally lost.
SOCRATES: As am I. But luckily we don't need to settle these issues about Gods, as I see another problem with these "high-income seculars". Did you not say, Tories, that they were merchants, who had obtained a lot of money?
TORIES: I did.
SOCRATES: Now, would we say of a man who was ruled by the love of money that he was wise, or that he did not recognize what was truly valuable in life?
TORIES: The latter.
SOCRATES: So we should look instead to the philosophers. How do the philosophers of North Carolina vote?
TENDERBRANSON: I'm not really sure, but I think they live in a town called Chapel Hill, where they support Obama.
MEMPHES: Wait, what? In America philosophers live outside the big city? Crazy! They must be a lot smarter than our philosophers. All our philosophers want to live right in central Athens, even though a stone hut will cost you ten drachmas a month, just because they think it's the "cradle of Western civilization" or some crap like that.
SOCRATES: So the philosophers support one candidate, and the merchants another?
TENDERBRANSON: Yes.
SOCRATES: And didn't North Carolina vote for one party the previous time in 2008 but the other party in 2004?
TENDERBRANSON: Yes.
SOCRATES: Truly a state with a disordered soul. And is not Mitt Romney likewise the candidate with the most disordered soul, given that he claims to oppose all the more liberal things he said he supported as governor of Massachusetts.
TENDERBRANSON: Yes indeed, Socrates.
SOCRATES: And does it not follow that a state with a disordered soul will vote for a candidate with a disordered soul, so Mitt Romney will carry North Carolina?
GLAUCON: Your logic is clear, Socrates. Thank you so much for settling our dispute.

ROFLMAO

[Antonio the Sixth]

Ahem...

[Antonio the Sixth]

Like Hitler in what way? In that they ate sugar?

Oldiesfreak's response in that thread is also interesting, in that he says, among other things, that Hugo Chavez was more like Hitler than the Kims.

And that PETA was more so than Dick Cheney.

Anyway, my point was that "like Hitler" can mean thousands of different things.

[Antonio the Sixth]

I'm now starting a petition for Vosem to be made to only post in Russian.

[Antonio the Sixth]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=170766

[Antonio the Sixth]

How the **** did I get a higher score than BRTD?

I'M A HIGH-CHURCH MAINLINE PROTESTANT WHO PRAYS THE ROSARY.

BRTD GOES TO CHURCH AT SOME SORT OF WAREHOUSE OR SOMETHING.

WHAT.

[Antonio the Sixth]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=170863.0

[Antonio the Sixth]

RNC PR BS is perfect for the job.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Would Oldiesfreak: The Moor of Atlas be going too far? It would, wouldn't it?

[Antonio the Sixth]

Huh. I was thinking the next post would begin in 1960, what with the collapse of the Socialists and all.

That's considered as well. I as of yet have no "titles" for the post-1920 system, though it may become the "Socialist Era" of politics (1920-1956/60).

EDIT: Though it seems a bit strange to merely chop history into little two decade sections.

It gives me titles for the chapters of my Glorious Textbook Monopoly, which is heavily biased towards the Socialists.

"The Early Republic 1789-1796"
"Jeffersonian Democracy 1796-1824"
"Clay's Americanism 1824-1848"
"The Civil War, Reconstruction, and Republicans 1848-1872"
"A Government Divided 1872-1900"
"Progressive Republicanism Ascendant 1900-1920"
"The Era of Socialist Dominance 1920-1940"
"World War II and the Socialist Decline 1940-1960"
"The Modern System 1960-?"

-Atlamerican History, Jones Publishing, 1962

Oh, my corporation is named the Glorious People's Workers' Democratic People's Corporation (Approved By God Himself [here we have a picture of an R-MI avatar giving a thumbs-up]) For The Education Of Our Most Precious Resource, The Children, And The Moral Edification Thereof, Inc.

Just a tip for the future.

[Antonio the Sixth]

I think he would have preferred to switch places with Barney.

It would have been more appropriate given their respective mental capacities.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Which one is the better shot.  In this case I'd prefer Palin to either, since I think she'd have a good chance of nailin' the zombies before they could get me.

If it's brains they're after, that woman has nothing to fear from a zombie apocalypse.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Not entirely sure, but I'm sure tax cuts and increased military spending would help solve the problem.

[Antonio the Sixth]

What?
SOCIAL CONSERVATIVE is evolving!
...
...
Congratulations! Your SOCIAL CONSERVATIVE evolved into DECENT HUMAN BEING!