Summary of your religious beliefs

[Aurelius]

Religion: syncretic, "spiritual but not religious"
Denomination: (if applicable) N/A

Why do you follow this religion (or lack thereof)? Raised Reform Jewish in an interfaith Jewish/Catholic family, closer to the Conservative side of the spectrum than the secular side. Found it spiritually hollow, despite its historical and cultural majesty. Dabbled with the idea of becoming Christian for a bit, esp Eastern Christianity (people in conservacord in the first half of 2019 will recall me agonizing over all this at great length), but since then I realized in retrospect this was driven by aesthetics and a Pascal's Wager-esque fear of a hell that I don't actually believe in, rather than by genuine belief and if you're gonna convert from Judaism to Christianity in this day and age, it'd better be out of genuine belief, not mere aesthetics, given the family s**tshow that will inevitably occur. Since then I've stopped trying to artifically impose external structure on my spiritual worldview. At the same time, I strongly reject atheism especially in its vulgar form.

God: Do you believe in God? Is there more than one God? Is this God all-knowing and all-powerful? Does God interfere in your daily life? Does God talk to you?
There is a higher power of some sort. The existence of the universe and of my conscious mind requires this. A mountain talked to me once.

Afterlife: What happens after we die? Heaven/hell? Reincarnation? Nothing whatsoever? If there are multiple versions of the afterlife (for example, heaven and hell), who goes where and what determines that? Nothing. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The soul dies when the body dies. For many people this is the most terrifying aspect of existence, and I think one of the strongest motivators behind organized religion. Myself, I find strange comfort in it. Existence brings both great happiness and great suffering. It is comforting to know that the suffering naturally comes to a close.

Prayer: Do you pray? How often do you pray? Do you do it in a certain way? Do you pray to God (or gods) or to something else? Do you say your prayers out loud or in your head? Yes, informally and in a variety of ways. A few times a month, usually in response to personal crisis or loss. I can personally attest that there are no atheists in foxholes high up on a knife-edge ridge with 2,000 feet exposure on each side of you where if you slip and fall, you die. I had a much more intensely spiritual/religious period in 2018-2019 after the loss of three close relatives in one year.

Worship: Do you go to church/mosque/synagogue/anything else? How often? Synagogue or private family services a few times a year. Very occasionally church when staying with religious friends on a Sunday, probably 3 or 4 times in the past decade.

Ghosts, spirits, angels, and demons: Do they exist? Are they present here? Have you ever seen one? Are certain people condemned to roam the earth? I do not believe in angels and demons, except metaphorically. I am agnostic about ghosts. Many things, both living and nonliving, carry spiritual force. Even if there are not ghosts, certain places can be haunted by the presence of negative spirit(s).

One True Path: Is your religion the only way? Do people of other faiths have equally valid beliefs or not? Are your religion's followers saved while the others are condemned for all eternity? I do not believe in an afterlife, so the last question is irrelevant. A powerful measure of a person's religious way is whether it allows them to die at peace with the world and their loved ones. I am a bit of a soft monist, in a metaphorical but not theological sense. I believe that the great power of religion is to uplift people's mind and body, and many religious traditions do that very powerfully in a variety of ways. At the same time, I do not believe in the article of faith, especially common on the left, that all cultures or traditions are of equal worth or value. All religious traditions have their particular strengths and weaknesses.

Spiritual objects: Do certain things in the earth (for example, crystals or plants) have spiritual properties? Mountains, rivers, thunderstorms, great works of art and architecture, sacred religious objects, ancient places of worship, cemeteries, the night sky. Things which attest to the great force of nature and the highest heights of man.

Religious law: Do you follow religious law or morality codes? For example, fasting or abstinence until marriage? Is not doing so a sin? Not in any coherent or organized way. I do have a strong sense of sacred vs profane and believe sacred objects and places demand respect and (sometimes informal) ritual.


Spreading the word: Should it be a mission by people of your religion to spread it to as many people as possible? No.

[Aurelius]

Spinoza-ism, I guess?

[Aurelius]

Increasingly converging on "Jewish, because my mother is Jewish and her mother is Jewish and her mother was Jewish and..." Very simple and satisfying. Feels like after 40 24 years in the wilderness I'm finally coming home. Throughout my whole Jewish education I felt like I was just going through the motions, but even though to this day I'm not sure what exactly HaShem is, but suddenly it all makes sense and feels right.