How do you feel right now ?

[BlueSwan]

Early in the night I felt elated. Was sure that Clinton was winning Florida. Then when it dawned on me that all the early leads were due to early voting and every new data set favoured Trump I got the worst feeling in my body I have arguably ever felt. It was like my entire life came crashing down. As it became clear that Trump was the next president I felt a level of despair that no priviledged white guy in northern Europe should ever realistically feel. I am a high school teacher and I could not even handle the idea of ever facing my students again. I teach political science, but how can I teach them that subject in a world that can elect a fascist? I was seriously on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

However, I AM a DEEPLY priviledged white guy living in one of the most prosperous countries in the world with a loving family and no real economic concerns. What pulled me up was reminding myself of that. I am not entitled to a breakdown. I am not an African suffering from hunger. I am not a homeless Eastern European. I am not a poor black man living in a ghetto being forced to sell crack to put bread on the table.

As a teacher I also have an obligation to the next generation. They are not the ones who voted Trump. They are the future and they need proper role models.

That made me feel a bit better and admittedly I was somewhat consoled by Trump's speech. It wasn't hateful. It was conciliatory. He could have spouted his usual nonsense, but he didn't. I don't have any confidence in Trump and I deeply fear the rising nationalist movement in Europe and the US, which brought him to power. But we have to stay strong and combat it. A plurality actually voted for Clinton. A lot of the people who voted for Trump are probably useful idiots and not raving lunatics.

Oh yeah, and I have done self-therapy though almost non-stop stream-of-consciousness writing on the internet for the last many many hours. My facebook page is an embarrassing mess of random thoughts right now.