what is the funniest post ever?

[dazzleman]

I think the funniest posts ever were in the masturbation thread created by BRTD and contributed heavily to by Flyers 2006.

When BRTD wrote about how he was getting distracted by stiffies at work, I damn near fell out of my chair laughing.

[dazzleman]

On the issue of NixonNow being unbanned:

Thank God this is finally over. I've literally been losing sleep and urinating irregularly due to the stress from all this.

You're right.  That one ranks pretty high up there.

[dazzleman]

Flyers,

Why don't you post some of Keystone Phils angry rants. They sure are hilarious and its a good way to match his comments he makes about you.

His fight with Hughento was the best.  I can't even remember what it was about.  His best post was actually deleted, unfortunately.  Nothing against Hughento, but it was just hilarious.

[dazzleman]

Damn, Casey.  Get a shrink.

I don't need a shrink, as I have a cold pool.

[dazzleman]

I can hardly think of a more burning issue than this.  I burn with indignation every time I hear the word "mankind" or realize that the word "woman" contains right within it the word to describe the vile specimens of the male gender that has oppressed, beaten and abused women on such a large scale for thousands of years.

To think that women today, who have suffered the terrible scars of their brutal oppression, have to bear the additional indignity of being forced to speak a language that clearly regards them and treats them as second-class citizens is unconscionable.

Thanks for the nomination, buddy.

[dazzleman]

Flyers will do anything to turn himself on....

(Stupid)

Hmm, did I HIT A NERVE?  Forward this to some of your family members.  DING!

I would love to see what the garbage said before Alcon edited it. You really are pretty sad, Flyers. I know you had fun with that conversation all night though.

Seems dazzleman and J.J. thought it was hilarious.  Lighten up a little.  Hell, it was kind of a knock on union guys which I thought you would have found hilarious.  I posted it for humor value.  Of course I would never print this on campaign material for I would be dead with unions whom I would surely need to win. 

Yes, I got a good laugh out of it, because there was so much truth to it.  Even though I'm not from Philadelphia, I've known girls like that.  They closely resemble the empty-headed BBQ disco queens who hang out in New York clubs.

[dazzleman]

Phil, let me give you an advanced lesson on something here.  While we are ideologically different we come from a nearly carbon copy background.  That being said, you may find it best you hold on to your current girlfriend unless there is grave doubt your relationship can continue.  You might be asking yourself, why is he saying this?  Well, you MAY get some random women in college, but from what I can gather you're looking at St. Joe's, correct?  One thing I realized from visiting my brother there numerous times is the women there are rich girl drama queens into random hookups.  I have actually hooked up with 2 girls from there and neither were relationship material.  One girl wouldn't let me breathe and the other was hooking up with everyone.  Not saying you won't be successful, but keep what I said in mind. 

You may be asking how does my sick parody tie into this?  Well, the fact of the matter is I'm a college grad, not a tough trade union guy nor a bigshot corporate professional.  This is a LARGE part of my dating issues at this point in my life and bear in mind they have the potential to be yours as well.  I grew up in a working class, labor union background, yet I had a mother with a degree (a rarity in the neighborhood I grew up in) and was pushed to get honors and go to college.  Most of the people I grew up with were looking at becoming cops/firemen or getting into a trade union.  Some might have did a stint at Community, but eventually they left and went into one of those career paths.  Fact of the matter is in the short run they are kicking my ass financially for they have little to no student loans AND they are making more than me.  This does not mean I am anti-union I support the bargaining rights of organized labor and wish it expanded into some professional fields.  And I also don't regret getting my degree as well.  One thing with women from NE and South Philly is they are somehow preprogrammed to fall for union men or cops because that's what their fathers did.  The parody has a lot of sick truth to it.  No way in hell do many of them want some chubby Accountant.  Do I have an identity crisis?  Maybe.  Union guys and cops are the most successful with women on Frankford Ave. pubs and Finnegan's Wake.

Now onto Olde City and Manayunk.  The women who recently graduated college that go there are looking for guess who?? Doctors, lawyers, and corporate pricks.  Problem there is I'm too working class for them.  The parody does not point this out well.  Intellectually this is more my place, but I am some broke ass working class college grad in debt. 

Your problem is you laugh at people who don't have a comfortable existance such as yours as an Honors student at a Catholic high school.  You know what?  Your world can get flipped in spin cycle fast.  This Republican attitude you and many people have that simply working hard will get you incredible riches is completely bogus.  Luck, who you know, and certain rules and regulations play a very huge role in this world. 

Wow dude, you've really given this some thought.

A lot of what you say is true.  Though I did not grow up in the type of environment you describe, I am familiar with it, and with the shortcomings of it.  And the first few years of a career are usually tough, especially if you're working for the government. 

Still, with every job or career, there is some aspect of "paying your dues" which is supposed to pay off later.  Working for the government, that payoff comes in the form of a moderate-paying cushy job with good pension, benefits, etc.  Working for private industry, it can come in the form of making a s&$tload of money, if you're good at what you do.

You probably consider me one of the people with the "Republican attitude" that simply working hard brings great riches.  That is actually not true, as I split from that line of thinking in 2 ways.  One, you have to work smart, not just hard.  You have to place yourself in a position strategically where that hard work will pay off, and not be wasted.  Two, you are correct that luck, who you know, etc. does matter, though there is an element of making our own luck that I have also found.  I have also found that it is possible to squander great luck, and even to turn some bad luck to your advantage.

In my years of hiring and mentoring younger college graduates, I have observed that the type of family one comes from does make a difference in terms of ease of adapting to the corporate world.  Those raised in upper middle class families have an advantage in this realm because they were immersed in the thinking of this world all their lives, while those from a more working-class background have to learn a whole new set of rules from what they were raised with to succeed in the world of college graduates.  So I think I understand exactly what you are saying.

I'd also say that nobody should get too comfortable in high school.  High school ends fast, and the real world is vastly different.  In high school, and to a lesser extent college, the best route to doing well is to behave, follow the rules, study hard, and tell the teachers/administrators etc. what they want to hear.  In the real world, that type of behavior will only lead a person to be stepped all over, and kept in a low level position.  The real world is looking for people who have the balls to know when to break the rules if they don't make sense, take risks, tell the boss when you don't agree with him, etc., the type of behavior that can land a guy in a lot of trouble in high school.  It is possible to excel both in high school and the real world, and many people do it, but it is necessary to adapt to different conditions, and recognize that you're playing by a different set of rules.

Flyers, you're clearly unhappy with your life right now, as we all are at different times.  Your job is to change what you're not happy about.  My advice to you stands -- get the f&$k out of government if you ever want to make real money.  Sure, you'll have to pay your dues if you go to private industry, but you're still young enough to get on a great track that will pay off later in spades, if you do things right.  I can't emphasize strongly enough that attitude will be the deciding factor here.  You have to get beyond analyzing why you are not happy, and into working with a positive attitude to change what you're not happy about.  PM me if you want to talk further.

[dazzleman]

Thanks for the nomination, Casey.  I think it's my first.

[dazzleman]

Nah, I just like to bust balls. 

^^funnier when taken in context

Thanks for the nomination, BossTweed.  In the interests of presenting the whole picture, here is the exchange:

Thanks! Also, this is probably as good a place as any to mention that I'm afleitch's partner in real life

Is there any....um....personal information about him that you'd like to share?

I don't know, I expect these forums have a word limit

Hah, it would really only take two words.... _____ inches..

Now now dazzle if you were that intrigued all you needed was to PM me

Nah, I just like to bust balls.  This seemed like just too good an opportunity to pass up.  I'll let you keep all those private particulars between you and your buddy Chris...