Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted].

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie have you ever studied for something without watching TV at the same time?

He's been thinking about possibly trying a couple new study methods.  He was going to look them up online but he hasn't gotten to it, yet.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Did anyone see pigs fly by your window about 45 minutes ago?  I just used my stove for one of the first times in the 10 months I've been in this apartment.  I browned some hamburger meat and put over a big plate of nachos.  At Walmart the other day, I got some hamburger meat, Tostito chips, and a jar of that Tostitos Salsa Con Queso.  After I consumed the food, I got in there immediately and cleaned up the dishes and got them put away.  Now, I'm about to change into my pajamas as I finish the Rockets vs. Pacers.  The next package of hamburger meat that I get, I'll get from [redacted]!  Not a particularly healthy meal, but it did use the groceries that I bought the other day and I did not go out to eat or use the microwave.

How does that even happen...?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

So, I get condemnation for browning meat for nachos?  Typical, but sad.

No, you get condemnation for consider nachos part of a "diet."

I never said that.  I don't deserve ANY condemnation for my choice of supper tonight.

Do you still consider yourself on a diet? If so, ground beef, Tostitos and salsa are not typically elements of a diet, particularly not as a full meal. Good work using the stove. You might as well admit that there is no dieting happening at all ... otherwise you'll continue to get called on the carpet for this stuff.

On another note ... here's a blast from the Update past that I ran into in Sioux Falls SD:

Wow.  Thank you, J.  There is something just so Breaking Bad about that pic.  Reminds me of some of the Season 3 and 4 episodes where you would get these time-lapse shots of various relevant locales in Albuquerque that harkened back to earlier episodes.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Good morning, guys.  I see you have been busy condemning me over night.  Pathetic.  I'm better than your accusations and condemnations.  Anyway, I am about to leave for Shawnee to go to the doctor.  I should be home between 1200 and 1300.  I hope to have dinner with my church friends at Buffalo Wild Wings this evening.  Again, there is nothing wrong with hanging out with friends.  What would you want me to do?  Decline the invitation to fellowship with good, godly friends just because they are going to an unhealthy restaurant?

No there is nothing wrong with hanging with friends.  You should get some more.  And you should get a buffalo chicken salad at B-Dubs because they are delicious and actually have some veggies and greens in them. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I just got out of the doctor's office.  My diet is apparently so poor that he said I'm anemic.  He said I'm not getting the vitamins I need.  I'm not really surprised.  He's giving me a multivitamin prescription for it.  My bad cholesterol also jumped by 40 points since I had it checked a year ago.  He's also given me a nasal spray to help with the severe allergies.  My Zyrtec is having a tough time keeping up with the high pollen count.  The only good thing today is my blood sugar is perfectly normal, so still no sign of diabetes.

Do you have any idea what kind of fire you are playing with here?  My relatively healthy and active father had to revamp his lifestyle because of cholesterol. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I understand the implications and dangers of high cholesterol.  I know I've got to make a change, a real bonafide change.  I'm going to try, but I won't post my food choices on the forum that way I don't get clubbed by the forum and I don't lash out in anger and falsely accuse.

Dude the time for trying is long gone.  You never eat healthy when you go out because you have the option and you can't help yourself.  It's like asking a heroin addict to go to their dealer with money and get weed.  You need support, therapy, a true methodology, etc.  Something.  There is absolutely no way you won't get a cheeseburger tonight and you know it.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie, weren't you proudly taking a multivitamin that wasn't prescription strength? What happened to that?

It's like literally any little thing that could improve his health he simply will not do.  Bewildering.

EDIT: Healthy = uppity in Oklahoma?  Or maybe when Michelle Obama made it her mission these Okies were just done with it?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie, weren't you proudly taking a multivitamin that wasn't prescription strength? What happened to that?

It's like literally any little thing that could improve his health he simply will not do.  Bewildering.

I've been taking them, but my doctor said I needed to take them with a full stomach, otherwise they just pass through.  I've just been taking them with my morning medicine regardless of whether I've had food or not.

So Morning Nachos then?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I am not going to publicly commit to any kind of diet plan or eating regimen.  I have found it is hard to stick to them and the only thing I end up eating is my words.  Those don't taste too good.  If I eat something earth-shatteringly healthy, or if I start having legitimate success, I may pop in and share it, but for every day meals, I probably won't share.

#MorningNachos is already trending.  Too late.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

mmmm... #breakfastnachos



(of course for Bushie would have to remove the guac, salsa and olives, replace the eggs with a pound of ground beef, triple the sour cream, and get rid of those sinful, sinful cervezas off to the side)

And those chips look to be whole grain!   Ewwwwwwweeeee.  Can we get a bag of Tostitos up in here?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Let's stop all this silly exercise and diet talk. We know full well it makes no difference whatsoever. The only thing ODF can commit to is a shortened life span.

Here's a more fun topic: Jeff, what will you be eating tonight at BWW?

Oh I know exactly what he'll be having at Buffalo Wild Wings tonight.  I actually went to BWW a couple of times out in Chicago.  They actually all call it "B-Dubs" out there, which makes me think the place originated in the Midwest.  (Maybe J-Mann can fill us in on that)  I don't remember what I had because the whole reason I went was to get bombed while I watched the NY Rangers in the playoffs... but taking a gander at the menu...



YUM!  And you might be asking yourself if those are onion rings on that burger and the answer is YES!  Two beer battered onion rings right on top of the bacon cheeseburger with a Honey BBQ sauce.  Damn man.  I might have to scour the South Jersey area for one of these joints and have an onion ring burger while I watch Rangers/Kings tonight!  

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I wouldn't want him to go on a crash diet. That's basically what he tries to do now--escapades where he tries to go entire days eating a spoonful of Cheerios and Diet Dr. Pepper as his only sustenance.

He needs to cut the crap and start eating chicken and fish instead of beef, vegetables with every meal, and only fruit for dessert.  These aren't crash diets because once you get used to them they become palatable, but if all you want to eat is burgers and shakes then it'll never taste salty enough or sweet enough or fatty enough.

I am of the opinion that small changes are for people like you or me; looking to lose a few pounds in the spring gained in the winter. Complete lifestyle changes are what Bushie needs.

Bushie should probably take up smoking for a couple of months and see what happens.  If he was truthful about what he eats he would not have put on ~30 lbs in the last couple of the years.  Not that what he eats isn't fattening but he definitely reports less of it.  He needs an emergency curb of his appetite.  Doesn't have to be cigs.  He could probably curb his appetite and look more worldly if he gets a hookah or something... although I would be careful about letting anyone see it.  Clears your head, too.  I love the hookah bar once every few months. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Here are some menu items at Buffalo Wild Wings if Bushie were at all serious about cholesterol, anemia, and losing weight:

ASIAN ZING® CHICKEN SALAD
Crisp greens and cabbage topped with grilled, or cooked to order, chicken tossed in our signature Asian Zing® sauce garnished with mandarin oranges and fried wontons. Served with light Asian Sesame dressing.

MEDITERRANEAN SALAD
Lemon pepper chicken on top of fresh greens, wedge tomato, cucumbers, carrots, red peppers, onions, crumbled bleu cheese and Kalamata olives.  Served with a side of Mediterranean style bread, tzatziki-feta dressing and hummus.
View menu details

BUILD YOUR OWN GRILLED CHICKEN
Grilled chicken breast with your choice of toppings to make your own personalized sandwich, served with natural-cut French fries.
Pick any or all:  Lettuce, Tomato, Red Onion, Pico de Gallo, Pickle Spear
Then a cheese: American, Cheddar, Swiss, Pepper Jack, Queso
Sauce it up: Your favorite sauce or seasoning, Ranch, Bleu Cheese, Southwestern Ranch
Extras on top (for an additional charge): Bacon, Chili, Pulled Pork, Sliced Steak

Bolded the things that Bushie will not even think about touching.  Maybe he can blend the rest into a slurry and dump it on top of some lettuce.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I wouldn't want him to go on a crash diet. That's basically what he tries to do now--escapades where he tries to go entire days eating a spoonful of Cheerios and Diet Dr. Pepper as his only sustenance.

He needs to cut the crap and start eating chicken and fish instead of beef, vegetables with every meal, and only fruit for dessert.  These aren't crash diets because once you get used to them they become palatable, but if all you want to eat is burgers and shakes then it'll never taste salty enough or sweet enough or fatty enough.

I am of the opinion that small changes are for people like you or me; looking to lose a few pounds in the spring gained in the winter. Complete lifestyle changes are what Bushie needs.

Bushie should probably take up smoking for a couple of months and see what happens.  If he was truthful about what he eats he would not have put on ~30 lbs in the last couple of the years.  Not that what he eats isn't fattening but he definitely reports less of it.  He needs an emergency curb of his appetite.  Doesn't have to be cigs.  He could probably curb his appetite and look more worldly if he gets a hookah or something... although I would be careful about letting anyone see it.  Clears your head, too.  I love the hookah bar once every few months.  

You want Bushie to smoke hookah in Oklahoma?! They'll lynch for him being a no-good, terrorist-loving Muslim!

I said he had to hide it.

EDIT: Or he could call it a Jesus Lamp

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Also, is anybody really angry at Bushie when we tell him to eat a salad instead of nachos? I think the anger and lashing is a projection of ODF's feeling when he reads he cannot eat ground beef as a diet.

I really wish Bushie would change his mind about stuff.

Here's a wishlist I have for Bushie:

1) 30 minutes of exercise a day
2) Daily pushups/situps/crunches (only 10/25/10 would at least do something)
3) Drink diet soda only
4) Have a daily multivitamin
5) Drink V8 V-Fusion or something to at least get some fruits/veggies in him
6) Cut bread intake

I think you are greatly overestimating both Jeff's abilities and the benefits of these types of activities at this point. Maybe he can think about these types of exercises after he's shed 100 pounds. Until then, cardio and basic movements ought to be his focus. God Himself couldn't get Jeff to do 10 push-ups or 25 sit-ups at this point.

But 10 pushups/25 situps/10 crunches a day is absolutely nothing.  You can do that in 1 commercial break. 

Yes, I can. He can't. And don't compare it to a TV show where a drill sergeant is screaming in their faces. Jeff needs that, but he doesn't have it. He'll never do a push up in his life. Ever. You want him to be healthier? He should start by walking.

How much exercise do you think he gets getting and weighing the meat, wrapping it and putting a price sticker on the package!?  I'm personally very impressed where he puts the price sticker on the package. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I drop 3-4 pounds every 5 or 5 1/2 hour shift, but with the days in between

Remarkable! This man lost a pound of belly fat standing up for an hour.

Bushie should stop with the [redacted] and hop on making theoretical clickbait dollars.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

We are going to meet for supper at 1900 this evening in Broken Arrow, so I am going to leave here at 1835 to get gas and then head over to the restaurant.  I should be home by 2100 or shortly thereafter and plan to be in bed by 2200 or 2230.  Even though I have nowhere to go in the morning, I want to stay in the habit of getting up super early so Thursday morning won't come as big of a shock.  I will go to bed tomorrow night by 2000 or 2030.  As of 1800, I have 19 1/2 hours until Work Night 5 and 35 hours until Work Day 5.

Bushie... For the sake of your Earthly life will you at least get chicken tonight? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

We are going to meet for supper at 1900 this evening in Broken Arrow, so I am going to leave here at 1835 to get gas and then head over to the restaurant.  I should be home by 2100 or shortly thereafter and plan to be in bed by 2200 or 2230.  Even though I have nowhere to go in the morning, I want to stay in the habit of getting up super early so Thursday morning won't come as big of a shock.  I will go to bed tomorrow night by 2000 or 2030.  As of 1800, I have 19 1/2 hours until Work Night 5 and 35 hours until Work Day 5.

Bushie... For the sake of your Earthly life will you at least get chicken tonight? 

The chicken actually sounds appealing tonight.  I might just do that.

Go with a salad and customize it if you have to.  It's a sit-down and they will gladly add what you want/subtract what you don't.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie, when you and your church friends get together, does anyone swear?  Or do you all say things like "dern", "fudge", "son of a biscuit", and "shizzle-dizzle"?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I will post later, right now there is a Tornado Warning for Tulsa County.  Tornadoes are entering Downtown Tulsa, which means they are about 13-14 miles from my apartment.  If these things don't lift, I will have to take cover very soon...

Does the building have a shelter?  It should.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I'm in my safe room, but I can actually hear the tornado and large hail outside...

Shenanigans! If you're close enough to hear a tornado, you and your building are RIP.

I just had a tornado go 2 miles to my north and strong winds of 90 mph overhead and 2 miles to my south.  Moore is having another tornado again!

Get some video, dude. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

OK, new title:

Update XXIII: Saving My Feet in the Safe Room

We had a sweet string of potential titles a few pages back.  I'd rather pick from one of them because they were golden.  Then again, we have no idea what this season has in store for us considering the job. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

 I need to leave at 0420. 

*Giggles*

Bushie, do you get the joke?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Good times are happening and more good times are ahead.

Uh oh, isn't this usually the part where things start going horribly wrong?

I found something today in the meat department that I want to try one of these days.  It is their Bacon-Cheddar Chicken Breast.

Even by your definition of "diet"...

Honestly, Bushie could do a whole heck of a lot worse than bacon-cheddar chicken breast. It's a huge net improvement over the usual because it has ~0 carbs in it.

Is that so?  Are there real differences between types of carbs that the simple nutrition label will not tell you? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Good times are happening and more good times are ahead.

Uh oh, isn't this usually the part where things start going horribly wrong?

I found something today in the meat department that I want to try one of these days.  It is their Bacon-Cheddar Chicken Breast.

Even by your definition of "diet"...

Honestly, Bushie could do a whole heck of a lot worse than bacon-cheddar chicken breast. It's a huge net improvement over the usual because it has ~0 carbs in it.

Is that so?  Are there real differences between types of carbs that the simple nutrition label will not tell you? 

Carbs are carbs, all of them spike your insulin levels and cause you to retain fat. Whole grains spike it to a lesser extent than say, wonder bread, but it still does it. Carbs are fine for most people, but if you're Bushie's weight, if he ever wants to drop the pounds, he needs to stop eating bread. Cutting out a lot of fat won't do him a lot of good if he's still eating bread, pastas, burritos.

That's why fruit juices and the like are shams, because they're actually not that good for you. Some fruit is like berries, but others are just pure sugar, but people feel good about eating it because they're eating fruit and they've been told it's healthy.

These days I just splash some fruit juice in the water for a little flavor.  8 oz of a cranberry juice has 36g of sugar.  It's insane.  I do smoothies now for my fruits.