HockeyDude!: THE HOME STRETCH!!!

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

So the time has come for my adventure back to New Jersey!  Originally, the Navy had planned on providing me a plane ticket from San Diego to Philadelphia International, but I was informed today that due to costs of procuring a flight on short notice, that they will be sending me cross-country via Greyhound.  

Check out my itinerary:



It will certainly be quite the experience, to travel across our great land in the span of a single weekend.  I will provide updates, with my unique perspective on all the various stops I will make along the way.  Join me as I:

-sample various Western and heartland cuisines!
-try to find out what the matter with Kansas is!
-run into some Mormons in Utah!
-wear a Rangers jersey in Pittsburgh and Columbus!
-pass under the Gateway Arch and reenter the Eastern United States!
-pass time and chit chat with roadies and vagrants!
-throw down a cool $100 on a single hand of Blackjack in Vegas!
-make sweeping generalizations of entire states based on a single transient pit stop!
-Manning vs. Luck poll in Indy!

...I am greatly looking forward to sharing this journey and I hope you will join me!

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Stop in KC and say hi if you have time.

I'll be in KC for about an hour Sunday morning at 7:30, J-Mann.  If you want to swing by the Greyhound bus station and have a breakfast burrito with me, I'm down. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Do you get a chance to stay the night, shower, change clothes, etc at any point? You're going to be in rough shape if not. That trip has to be about 5 days by bus.

Only layovers ranging from 60 to 90 minutes, and the trip starts 4pm Friday and ends 1pm Monday.  I'll be sleeping on the bus (I'll buy an OTC sleep aid if I can't procure the thing I'm actually looking for) and freshening up in Greyhound station bathrooms.

Hey, 3 days on a bus beats 3 more miserable years in the worst reactor department in the Navy. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I wish you the best. I know the Navy wasn't working out and you'll be glad to be home, so you'll have that to look forward to. Any plans for once you get back? I know of a great opportunity for unlimited income at a vaccuum cleaning company. Just PM me your Social Security and bank account numbers and I can you all set up.

I've put in some applications at Federal agencies in Philadelphia, since...

1. I'd like to continue serving my country, albeit in a capacity suited for me.
2. I received a discharge under honorable conditions, giving me preference in applying, and with several references.
3. They do federal student loan forgiveness, like the military.
4. I have a chance to land a job at the GS-7 pay grade (45-50K to start) as I have some graduate school finished. 

However!  Now is not the time.  This thread is here to chronicle my journey across the continent.  I look forward to posting lots of pictures and commentary. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Stop in KC and say hi if you have time.

I'll be in KC for about an hour Sunday morning at 7:30, J-Mann.  If you want to swing by the Greyhound bus station and have a breakfast burrito with me, I'm down. 

I'm up for that. You should add me on Facebook so I know who I'm looking for.

When you see the bloke in the Rangers jersey, shout "Hockey Dude".  I will have it no other way.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I wish you the best. I know the Navy wasn't working out and you'll be glad to be home, so you'll have that to look forward to. Any plans for once you get back? I know of a great opportunity for unlimited income at a vaccuum cleaning company. Just PM me your Social Security and bank account numbers and I can you all set up.

I've put in some applications at Federal agencies in Philadelphia, since...

1. I'd like to continue serving my country, albeit in a capacity suited for me.
2. I received a discharge under honorable conditions, giving me preference in applying, and with several references.
3. They do federal student loan forgiveness, like the military.
4. I have a chance to land a job at the GS-7 pay grade (45-50K to start) as I have some graduate school finished. 

However!  Now is not the time.  This thread is here to chronicle my journey across the continent.  I look forward to posting lots of pictures and commentary. 

GS-7 step one is only $41,797 in Philly. New and younger hires really only start at step ones.  With you completing college and some grad school you should aim for some higher grades. Just be aware that  the federal hire process is a cluster f* overall. Be prepared to wait...You'd probably want to get something in the interim if you need cash.

Have fun on your road trip.

It's an option, not necessarily the endgame.  It's all really about starting over in a way; go back to Summer 2010, and instead of delaying my entry into real world through more schooling I was somewhat unsure of (I think I just wanted to see if I could get into law school more than anything), and then following it up with a random foray into the Navy that I was seriously unsure of, get right back into that mode "I'm a college graduate, from a great university, I worked hard for this... now let's get a job I know I want." 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!  I make first reportings of America in San Bernardino, home of Inland Empire of Californias.  I finda more.   Jenqui!

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!  I make first reportings of America in San Bernardino, home of Inland Empire of Californias.  I finda more.   Jenqui!

It's a Southern California joke that San Bernardino doesn't actually exist, because a lot of people don't know anyone from that city and additionally that area has hardly anything of interest.

I'll let you know if it's there when we arrive.  

And of course! First leg and I already have some drifter talking my ear off.  Why the hell are you darting off to San Bernardino with nothing but a dirty t-shirt, jeans, and shoes?  I'm going to tell him I don't do small talk; the awkward 10 seconds will be worth the peaceful 3 hrs.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

This image is hilarious!



LMAO! Could you imagine the driver's reaction when someone comes to him bitching about the Free Wifi being slow? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

A one hour and twenty minute layover in columbus?!  You lucky dawg.  Try to stay out of trouble.

I'll be rocking my NY Rangers jersey, and it happens to be a #16 Derick Brassard, a former Blue Jacket.  We'll see if I run into any fellow hockey goons. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I can report that San Bernardino is a real place.

As for dinner.



Yup... Vending machine cuisine.  Onto Vegas!

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

And for your pleasure... The loo.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

A pit stop in Bat Country.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

wow, I would NOT want to down an energy drink and then go sit in a bus for hours.  bus rides are opiate/benzo territory.

I tried to grab a couple Percocet but my potential contact never came through.  I am finally getting sleepy, though.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

This image is hilarious!



LMAO! Could you imagine the driver's reaction when someone comes to him bitching about the Free Wifi being slow? 

Pestering a person operating a large moving vehicle with dozens of passengers about WiFi seems like a needlessly dangerous thing to do. What could the driver do about it anyway? Pull the bus over and fix it himself?

In the Quebec long-distance bus, they say the same, and people actually did during a trip. The driver had just forgot to put the switch (next to him) to on. So, he solved the issue.

That's Quebec, man. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

So I just entered Nevada for the first time ever.  Some impressions.

1.  Damn, I knew Vegas had all the lights and glitz, but almost every single hotel gives off that vibe, even 60+ miles out.  Very flashy and lit up.  

2. Carls Jr seems more prevalent than McDonalds.

3. I love how these little towns pop up out of no where in the night.  Population is always like 500-600 and you can't even see anything besides fast food joints and gas stations.  Where do they live?  

4. The Vegas suburbs look very uniform and boring.  Even out here they are dullsvilles.

5. Did the city planners have an electric ancient Rome in mind?

Might be too short a layover to gamble, but we'll see.  

EDIT: Oh my sweet Raptor Jesus... Vegas is so cool.  Must plan a getaway.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I've entered Kolob's colony on Earth.  An eerie place it is.  I just passed a large man-made dirt hill with several small structures on top, which I can only assume are used to families to gather and play Yahtzee and other board games.  Frightening... Truly frightening.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

You just checked on that "agree" button didn't you, without reading the terms and conditions?  I wonder how many of your future children you agreed to supply as slave labor to Greyhound.

I am in Utah right now.  Maybe I can find me one wife for slave-breedin' and another one for fun-havin'

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

wow, I would NOT want to down an energy drink and then go sit in a bus for hours.  bus rides are opiate/benzo territory.

I tried to grab a couple Percocet but my potential contact never came through.  I am finally getting sleepy, though.

they don't drug test for opiates in the military?

I am no longer in the military (reference "Hockeydude in crisis" thread for explanation) This is my journey back home to NJ.

I hope the lack of reports means you're getting some great scenery coming in on I-70. I driven it a few times between Glenwood Springs and Denver and find it to be one of the best long stretches of interstate.

Yea, I have.  Just had a layover in Grand Junction and checkout some kind of block party they were having.



Seems like such a cultured and hip place for a 65% Romney county.  Must be those cowboys out in the sticks. 

Wonderful scenery along I-70!

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

The leg between Grand Junction and Denver is the best. The Rockies end VERY abruptly. Once you hit Denver, it's all over.

Yes, I've flown into Denver only to be greeted by a flat plane of dirt adjacent to the airport.  Definitely not the impression I had.  I look forward to driving in from the west.  I love geology.

In sour news, the fat sitting next to me is really starting to reek. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Wow!  To be compared to Hunter S., the Coens, and even Update itself!  Most flattered.  I've just arrived in Denver, and that will probably be it for awhile, as we will be using the late night/early morning to trek across Kansas.  I wanted to find out what's the matter with them... But I hear I won't be missing much if I down these last few Tylenol PM and conk off for several hours. 

Good news is that I will be able to switch seats and get away from the stinky fat. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Hockey, it's too bad your route doesn't have Texas on the itinerary. I think you and Austin would get along well.

I've heard, and Austin also happens to be my name.  No offense, but I've always made it a point to never step foot in Texas, and that will continue.

So here's a story from the road.  I enter the little Greyhound convenience store to grab an OJ for the ride.  Note that I am in a hurry.  What I am greeted with is a giant gaggle of my fellow travellers, all hounding and yelling at the poor cashier man because they find the prices outrageous.  The dude front of me couldn't get over the price tag on the salad.  One guy even said, "my wife is pregnant and you expect me to feed her this crap!"  LMAO!  I don't think I have to explain the multitude of levels on which that statement is f***tarded.  The poor cashier, to deal with these idiots at 9pm on a Saturday for what I'm sure is an outrageously low salary.  I was able to get my orange juice, but not without losing much faith in humanity.  Oh, despair.

And I was able to get away from the fat, and I currently have a nice 2 seater to myself.  I'm doing my best to look completely unapproachable, so hopefully it stays that way.

EDIT:  Great success!  The wonders a NY Mets hat and an annoyed look will do.  Time to ride in comfort!

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Food morning, Atlas!  Currently at a truck stop in Salina, KS.  Nothing to report, as there is nothing in Kansas to report.  The nice redneck who rang up my coffee liked my Iron Maiden shirt, but that's about it.

Kansas!  Come for the corn.  There's corn.

Edit: Morning J-mann.  Apparently we were delayed en route by an accident.  I am in Salina, KS right now, KC is our next stop.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Food morning, Atlas!  Currently at a truck stop in Salina, KS.  Nothing to report, as there is nothing in Kansas to report.  The nice redneck who rang up my coffee liked my Iron Maiden shirt, but that's about it.

Kansas!  Come for the corn.  There's corn.

Edit: Morning J-mann.  Apparently we were delayed en route by an accident.  I am in Salina, KS right now, KC is our next stop.

Boooo!! I'll try to make it back down here around the time you'll be stopping through. I wonder how an accident on the nearly-deserted I-70 could have delayed you for three hours!? My guess is the driver pulled over and got some shut-eye.

Fun fact: I was born in Salina, KS and grew up in a tiny rural town just 30 miles west of there! You are currently in my old stomping grounds!

It had something to do with a beer festival in Denver. 

So how's the nightlife out here in Saliva, J-Mann?  Bumpin I'd bet.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Nightlife? I don't know who or what that is.

Actually, if you haven't figured it out already, Salina is pretty white trash. The town that I grew up in, Kanopolis, was a lot more fun as far as "nightlife" goes. It was a town of 500 people but we had three bars. Drinking I suppose was all there was to do.

Twas a yoke.

Yea, I can tell this is as desolate as it gets.  And 3 bars for 500 people?  I hope you had a beer Olympics where the regulars of each would be pitted against each other in sport.