Comedy Goldmine VII: Straight-to-DVD Christmas Special

[The Mikado]

By a long shot, could it be Caroline Kennedy for vice president. This wouild bring camelot back into the political world.

My Dad said the same thing when he came home today. Me and my Mom proceeded to laugh at him for about 5 minutes straight.

Maybe GPorter is your dad?

[The Mikado]

I honestly thought porridge only existed in fairy tails.

Living in the United Kingdom is a fairy tale.

[The Mikado]

I think we will break 50%, but I also think he will lose

Obama 50.22%
McCain 49.14%
Others .76%

Barr will be lucky to get .5% and Nader to get .2%

Is that only funny because it adds up to 100.12%, or do you think the prediction's funny too?

[The Mikado]

Is this a video game or something?

I smiled, and almost chuckled.

[The Mikado]

It's simple really: McCain is King Lear, wandering the countryside shouting gibberish and lamenting the horrible decisions he made that got him into this position. Palin is Tamora from Titus Andronicus, determined to do whatever it takes to bring her enemies down with her.

Shakespeare FTW!

[The Mikado]

I spent most of a Saturday avoiding Obama's motorcade.

Their wasn't a deluge after him?

Credit where credit's due.

[The Mikado]

J.J. is saying that it all averages out Alcon. 

So, yes, this mistake was just because of randomization.

He believes in the  0.000000002%

Think about it Alcon, let me explain it to you.

Sure, while this poll, assuming it had perfect methodology, would be 99.999999998% not to get this result.

But did you know that atoms are 99.9999999999% empty?  That's only one more 9 than this poll has.  Punch your wall ten times, did your hand go through it?  WHOOAAH you just defied statistics, it's not that hard, these things HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.

Let me explain this better to you Alcon.  You don't seem to get it. 

How many times have you been struck by lightning?  Has it been more than 1,250 times?  I thought it would be.  You'll get struck by lightning about that many times every time a poll showing McCain winning by this margin has good methodology (minus the subsample repitition issue I've mentioned earlier, so many more like 700-800 times).

[The Mikado]

I mean, when you write utter bullshit like this...

McCain down 7 when he is down 6-8 nationally.  That is an amazing performance and shows how weak Obama really is in the state.

Bush never performed this well in relation to the national average.  In a normal year for Republicans McCain carries the state.

How can you live with yourself knowing that you are so dishonest [qm]. Worse; that all this pathetic Squealerish dishonesty is ultimately meaningless. The election is next week.

What's the problem you British prick? Where is the dishonesty in my comment? 

I actually laughed out loud.

[The Mikado]

OK... What just happened there?

This is going to a special election, I guess...

ALASKA (99% of precincts reporting)

Parnell (R) 106,351  49%
Begich (D) 102,998  48%

 

It's so true...oh, Alaska.

[The Mikado]

Actually, I never did this.  Somebody else did; I've alread switched back, as you can see.

flip floper.

DC United's post quality keeps improving.

[The Mikado]

I think we need a new Goldmine.  Alcon, would you care to do the honors?