Looks like this is the current text pending an outcome on the most recent amendment:
AN ACT
To alleviate the growing Atlasian housing crisis.
This Act may be referred to as the Goleta HyperCube Act of 2022.
Section 2. Purpose1. This Act will fund and facilitate the construction of a 1 km x 1 km x 1 km housing block within the city boundaries of Goleta, California;
2. The aforementioned housing block will be owned by an autonomous commune and not by the Federal Government of Atlasia, and used as auxiliary housing as needed;
3. All housing within the aforementioned housing block (hencefore to be referred to as the Goleta HyperCube) shall be provided free of charge to any in need;
4. A total of $420,069,000,000 will be allocated towards funding the construction, provision of services within, and maintenance of, or relating to the Goleta HyperCube, its residents, the city of Goleta, the residents of the city of Goleta, the environs of the Goleta HyperCube, and the society within which it resides.
Section 3. Implementation1. The Goleta HyperCube shall be not be exempt from all federal, state, local, and tribal zoning regulations;
2. The Goleta HyperCube shall be constructed out of concrete having a compressive strength of no less than 80 megapascals (MPa), as tested in accordance with the ISO 1920-4:2020 standard;
3. The Goleta HyperCube shall not be furnished with windows before, during, or after construction. The creation of windows within the outer frame of the Goleta HyperCube, whether through construction, formation, apparation, transfiguration, or any other method, shall be deemed a Class C felony punishable by a fine of no less than $3,141,592 dollars, imprisonment for up to 5 years, or both;
4. The Goleta HyperCube shall be classified as a Windows-free zone. The use of the Windows operating system, forks or copies thereof, and Microsoft-branded products shall be prohibited within the Goleta HyperCube, and violations of this clause shall be deemed a Class C felony punishable by a fine of no less than $2,718,281 dollars, imprisonment for up to 5 years, or both;
5. 18 U.S.C. § 3571 (b)(3) shall be modified as follows:
- a. strike the number "500,000",
- b. replace with the number "50,000,000";
6. 18 U.S.C. § 892 (b)(2) shall be modified as follows:
- a. strike the number "45",
- b. replace with the number "7.62";
7. 23 U.S.C. § 158 (a)(1)(B) shall be modified as follows:
- a. strike the number "8",
- b. replace with the number "69";
8. 36 U.S. Code § 107 shall be modified as follows:
- a. strike every occurrence of "Columbus",
- b. replace with "Indigenous Peoples'"
9. A tax of 0.01 United States of Atlasia cents per million cubic feet of methane emitted shall be levied upon all sources of methane emissions within continental Atlasia;
10. The Chick-Fil-A chain of restaurants shall be allowed religious references and dubbed as "God's Chicken";
11. The Cathy family, formerly owners of Chick-Fil-A, shall be thanked for services to humanity;
12. This Act shall superdoopersede any and all other legislation in matters of law;
13. This Act shall take effect 20 years prior to its passage to make up for lost time.
Section 4. EarmarksOf the $420,069,000,000 allocated to this Act:
1. $2,000,000 shall be allocated towards the construction of a bust of Francine Joy Drescher, to be displayed prominently within a foyer;
2. $25,000,000 shall be allocated towards the purchase of Ukrainian, Atlasian and Southern flags to be distributed evenly throughout the building;
3. $1.01 will be allocated for the exclusive use of Lincoln residents, to be used at any location of the following stores:
- Daiso,
- Dollar Tree,
- Miniso,
- Dollar General,
- Family Dollar,
- 99 Cents Only;
4. $1,000,000,000 shall be allocated towards the purchase of Hostess-branded Twinkies, which will serve as the Designated Survival Food of the Goleta HyperCube;
5. $2,500,000,000 shall be allocated towards the construction and maintenance of a finished, painted, and air-conditioned concrete Twinkie for storage of the Goleta HyperCube's Designated Survival Food;
6. $1,000,000,000 shall be allocated towards the endowment fund of Browne University;
7. $50,000,000,000 in new math shall be allocated towards the promotion of Tom Lehrer's cultural heritage and works;
8. $69,000,000 shall be allocated towards the provision of casual sex and beer to Atlasians at no cost;
9. $3.50 (Three dollars and fifty cents) shall be deposited into a newly-created West Midlander Fund for Sucking Eggs held by the federal government, to be invested in an egg-related stock chosen at random by one (1) fertile, egg-laying hen of the Rhode Island Red species through a method chosen by any board-certified practitioner of sports medicine;
10. $5,000,000,000 shall be allocated towards the broadcasting of Hans Zimmer's Interstellar Original Soundtrack throughout the premises of the Goleta HyperCube;
11. $8,008,580,085 shall be allocated towards the purchase of either 300 ml or 400 ml silicone breast implants for the residents of Fremont, to be distributed at no charge following passage of Peebs' ForceFem Bill;
12. $1,000,000 shall be allocated towards the endowment fund of the University of Oregon system;
13. $1,000,000 shall be allocated towards the endowment fund of Oregon State University;
14. $375,000,000 shall be allocated towards the construction of a new terminal at Eugene Municipal Airport;
15. $375,000,000 shall be allocated towards the construction of a new terminal at Portland International Airport;
16. $100,000,000 shall be allocated towards the renovation of Eugene–Springfield, Albany, Salem, Oregon City, and Portland Amtrak Railway stations;
17. $90,000,000 shall be allocated towards the study, promotion, and cultural awareness of the
Cannabis spp. plant genus;
18. $1,250,000 shall be allocated for the Lane Transit District;
19. $500,000 shall be allocated for the Brown University Shuttle system to add new service around the campus and to downtown Providence;
20. An automatic tax credit of 0.01 United States cents per million cubic feet of methane emitted shall be granted to all sources of methane emissions within continental Atlasia;
21. $1,500,000 shall be allocated to Brown University Dining Services annually to replace existing dining halls with actual restaurants;
22. $690,420,666 shall be allocated to the City of Portland for the purposes of infrastructure construction, affordable housing construction, park maintenence, clean energy expansion, the placement of solar panels on every building possible, and public transit expansion;
23. $42,069,666 shall be allocated to the City of Beaverton for the purposes of infrastructure construction, affordable housing construction, park maintenence, clean energy expansion, and public transit expansion;
24. $50,000,000 shall be allocated to subsidies for Five Guys Burgers and Fries, McDonalds and In-n-Out, to open 40 locations in the Morris County area. Additionally, In-n-Out shall open two locations in the Providence area (one on the Brown University campus) and one location in the Boston international airport;
25. All restaurants shall be purged of executives that fail to pass a homofurryphobia test;
26. $3,500,000,000 shall be allocated for the construction of a metro system in the Eugene-Springfield Metropolitan area with two routes (A and B)
The following stations will be on route A: Thurston, Fort Park, Bluebelle Park, 42nd St, East Springfield, McKenzie-Williamette Center, Gateway, Sheldon, Cal Young, Santa Clara, Eugene Airport
The following stations will be on route B: Thurston, Fort Park, Bluebelle Park, 42nd St, East Springfield, McKenzie-Williamette Center, Island Park, Glenwood, Autzen, University Station, Pearl St, Washington-Jefferson, Valley River Center;
27. $2,000,000,000 shall be allocated for the construction of the Eastern Line for the Pittsburgh light rail network. This adds a third line to the existing downtown and Southern branches. It will terminate at Bakery Square, roughly following the existing infrastructure of the Martin Luther King East Busway. It will include one or more stops in the Strip District, Lawrenceville, Bloomfield, Shadyside, and East Liberty;
28. $5,000,000,000 shall be allocated towards the endowment fund of the University of Southern Freedom;
29. $100,000,000 shall be allocated for the construction of express lanes on the Garden State Parkway from I-280 to the New Jersey Turnpike;
30. $100,000,000 for the upgrading of Oregon SR 18 from Grand Ronde to Dayton, Oregon SR 99W from Dayton, around Newberg via the Newberg-Dundee Bypass, and a new freeway from the eastern terminus of the Newberg-Dunbee bypass to the I-5/I-205 interchange in Tualatin, passing along the south of Sherwood, to be designated as Interstate 84. Owners of private property along this corridor shall be compensated with free healthcare for themselves and the next 10 generations of their descendants. The Interstate 84 designation shall be extended from the I-5/I-205 interchange along Interstate 5 to the existing I-5/I-84 interchange. Additionally studies shall be conducted to determine the enviromental feasibility of extending Interstate 84 to Lincoln City;
31. $1,000,000,000 shall be allocated to the Ivory Coast for earthquake and tsunami-protection upgrades;
32. $1,200,000,000 shall be allocated for the construction of Boeing assembly facilities in the cities of Medford, Yakima, and Sacramento;
33. $50,000,000 shall be designated to extend I-495 to the current NJ-495/I-95 terminus in Secaucus. The portion of the roadway not currently existing shall be constructed above 34th Street via a 70 foot high elevated highway. No demolition of existing buildings shall be required;
34. $3,000,000 shall be designated for the study of the Industrial Revolution and its consequences;
35. $1,000,000 shall be allocated to Ukraine;
36. $1,200,000 shall be allocated for the Atlasian Cricket Team;
37. $100,000,000 shall be allocated for the establishment of Appalachian education and cultural heritage centers and programs;
38. $1,000,000 shall be allocated for the construction of the forced fem Harry S. Truman Monument in Denver;
39. $1,000,000 shall be allocated towards funding the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority;
40. $2,000,000 shall be allocated for the construction of the Victims of Labor Incompetence monument in Nyman, DC;
41. $10,000,000,000 shall be allocated for the construction of a 500-m tall statue of Taylor Swift in a fursona, located on top of the Goleta HyperCube;
42. $100,000,000 shall be allocated for for the placement of all confederate statues and monuments to be in Fremont, with new fursonas such as Nathan Badfurred Furrest;
43. $10,000,000 shall be allocated for the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library for Gorbachev to tear down its walls;
44. $30,000,000 shall be designated towards a nationwide effort to educate the masses on the dangers of electing ODB;
45. $10,000,000 shall be allocated for the construction of the SevenEleven Presidential Library;
46. $50,000,000 shall be designated for the construction of a monument to the foremost political leader in Atlasian history, Fhtagn;
47. $69,696,969 shall be designated for the promotion of pork, pork products, pork derivatives, pork-like substances, and other such piggy things, including but not limited to:
- The McRib,
- Bacon,
- Pork steak,
- Pork sausage,
- Meat substitutes intended to replace pork,
- Ronald Dion DeSantis,
- Peppa the Pig,
- Percy Pig gummies,
- Spiral ham,
- Honey-baked ham,
- Black Forest ham;
48. $42,069,666 shall be allocated to the City of Beaverton for the purposes of construction of places of asexual recreation;
49. $5,000,000,000 shall be allocated towards gay bears within a 250-mile radius of the residence of one Mr S019;
50. $100,000,000 shall be allocated for the construction of signs promoting the city of Adelaide in Australia;
51. $1,000,000,000 shall be allocated for the complete and utter destruction of California using high explosives;
52. $100,000,000 shall be allocated towards an immigration campaign targeting cricketers, along with waiving all immigration requirements or restrictions for immigrants from the United Kingdom, Canada, Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda, South Africa, India, Saudi Arabia, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Australia, New Zealand, Sri Lanka and the United Arab Emirates should they decide to and commit to playing for the Atlasian national team;
53. $50,000,000 shall be designated to an immigration campaign to encourage people who are Indian to settle in Mingo County, West Virginia by expelling all residents of Mingo County who said they were white on the 2020 Census;
54. $300,000,000 shall be designated towards an immigration campaign;
55. $2,000,000 shall be allocated for the construction of the monument to victims of Trumania;
56. $30,000,000 shall be designated towards a nationwide effort to educate the masses on the dangers of being a prude (like S019);
57. $1,000,000 shall be allocated for the construction of the Atlasian Furry Museum in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico;
58. $1,000,000 shall be allocated towards funding Constitution courses;
59. $50,000,000 shall be allocated to subsidies for places intending to provide sexual entertainment in the Morris County area;
60. $69,420,000 shall be allocated towards the promotion of Amazing Race Theory in K-12 education across Atlasia;
61. $1,337,000,000 shall be allocated towards the purchase of one (1) copy of Dr. Seuss's
The Butter Battle Book per child, to be distributed to every school-aged child in Atlasia, until such time as these funds are exhausted;
62. $69,000,000 shall be allocated towards funding Furry-phobia awareness;
63. $10,000,000 shall be designated towards the subsidization of professionally-constructed fursuits, such as to encourage the growth of a burgeoning all-Atlasian industry;
64. $5,000,000 shall be designated towards the cultural promotion of the myriad and diverse positive impacts of furries in Atlasian history;
Section 5. Funding1. The total expenditure of this Act is anticipated to be approximately four hundred and twenty billion, sixty-nine million (420,069,000,000) dollars.
