Comedy Goldmine XII: A reimagining with Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Following on Mikado's post (check context):

I punch Winston Disraeli in the balls

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Santa Claus? Really? He's fake, and has nothing to do with Jesus. (Sorry Catmusic)

[Kaine for Senate '18]

On how the previous poster will die:

As the final moderate in the Republican Party, once Jodi Rell, Torie and Bullmoose have become Democrats (or, Communists)...NiK will write a book called, "Will the last moderate to leave the room turn out the lights?"

And he will.

Only to be electrocuted by a lightswitch ineptly installed by non-union, underpaid and unregulated electricians...

[Kaine for Senate '18]

It's not quite game over yet in the senate.  Webb's still undecided and he always has been the undecided one.  Nelson was going to fold from the beginning.  Reid's filing for cloture, but no one really knows how Webb's gonna vote.  He voted in favor of all six failed republican amendments to the bill and has said he was very upset about the medicare money not being restored.  He will surely be the one that's going to sink cap & trade when it comes to the senate.  So, who knows, we could get lucky and have Robert Bird go to his KKK in the sky or someone going home and getting snowed in.  Webb could sink this thing.  Any day that keeps this evil from passing is a good day. 

And as far as game overs, the democrats are going to have a hellish election come next November no matter how hard they try to win.  I mean when both hard liberals like Dean and hard conservatives like Coburn are united in opposition to the bill, Obama surely doesnt have the mushy middle.  The only remnant of support left in the polls for the bill is those who dont really pay attention or are Obama-sycophants.  6-7 senate seat pickups by republicans and the possible loss of the house.  It will be a pyhrric victory for dems if they pass this.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

For you people supposedly supporting this bill, do you have any clue what is even in it?

Not really.  I just read the part about the nightly sacrifice of a newborn baby in the Oval Office during an African fertility ritual and was satisfied with it.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Do you have to know anything about the law to join.

And where do I send my resume. I worked at McDonalds for 2 years, and as a security guard for 4.

Oh. Maybe I should outline what I know about the law.

K like if someone kills someone then you gotta arrest them right. But if the cop calls him a n***** then you can call him into the court room and make fun of him too. Now, when your arresting, focus only on the minorities, also, they are always guilty.

Lastly, constitutional law is about conservative boobs farting, thats why its called constitutional. Next, remember show respect to the judge no matter what, unless he is being an arse.

First things first, I'd prefer to be part of a law soft and not a law firm as the latter sounds phallic.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Merry Christmas.. be merry and drink a lot of boozed up eggnog and make out with your cousin in a closet somewheres.

Or just celebrate the birth of our redeeming Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Calling Inks a troll is pretty funny.

And stupid, but more funny than stupid.

Actually, no, it's more stupid than funny, because it's really stupid.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Neoconservatism is a neo-Trotskyite imperialist ideology that expresses belief in the supremacy of the "democracy" found in the U.S. and Israel, and believes these states have the right to force it upon the world with violence. Neocons favor war, Zionism, militarism, Zionism, big government, and Zionism.

Both the Bush and Obama administrations have had strong neocon influences.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

So I decided to create my own, but it will just focus on Senate races for now. I will probably do one more detailed later that will include House and Gubernatorial Results.

Brett Baer 
Good Evening it is now 5:00 P.M. here in Washington as we start our Decision 2010              election night coverage here on Fox News. I'm Brett Baer.

Kirsten Powers
And I'm Kirsten Powers.

Brett Baer
Throughout the night we will present results as well as analysis of the numerous races around the country that we strive to be fair and balanced.

Kirsten Powers
Now before we move onto our guests Frmr. Vice Presidential Nominee Geraldine Ferraro and Frmr. Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, let's view the map of the Senatorial Races around the nation.  Currently the Senate's political composition is 57 Democrats, 2 Independents, and 41 Republicans after the upset victory of Scott Brown in Massachusetts in January.

I stopped reading right there.

Sorry Ben, but I found this funny when I rediscovered it.

Yup, I got owned there

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Good move. NH is where Johnson will score his upset win that makes him a serious contender for the nomination.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Good move. NH is where Johnson will score his upset win that makes him a serious contender for the nomination.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

FF

Change your display name to "True Trotskyite" please.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

If the Republicans want  to self destruct, then nominate air head Palin.

...

A new political star is on the rise in America, and her name is Sarah Palin.

Keep up these Palin bashing comments, keep up these sexist comments about Palin, keep up these incredibly stupid attacks on Palin's record and beliefs.

It is really sickening how the liberal media and the Washington elitists attack anything and everything about this patriotic American and outstanding public servant, Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin is a highly intelligent woman, hence some of her explanations tend to be over the head of the average individual.

Therefore, she must begin to put her answers and explanations into clear language that Joe Lunch Bucket will be able to understand.

I like Sarah Palin and I don't care who knows it.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Scientist: "Yo, Leo, what up?"
Lion: "Leadin' my pride, chillin' with my hos.  You?"
Scientist: "I know, man!  You alpha lions get so much tail!  All 'em lion bitches be on you like flies on sh**t!"
Lion: "Appreciate, yo!  I make it rain gazelle guts.  They wanna eat, they gotta give the masta his end.  Any other lion come 'round these parts, I put a claw in his ass."
Scientist: "I gotta fly, bro!"
Lion: "Leo out!"

[Kaine for Senate '18]

They could save 15% or more on their commercials if they starred actual cavemen.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Lame. Not funny even in the slightest.

I thought it was funny

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Should make the same FF-HP poll but have different options based on what your SAT score was and see how that correlates.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

To my knowledge, there are only 2 words that the filter filters out.

What are they?

F-bomb and s-word, I believe.

You are correct.

Is that it? What about crap and damn?

[Kaine for Senate '18]

He is a rare case of Bibliosexual. When people say no one knows the Bible from inside out as well as he does, they really mean it. I've heard it began innocently enough with just playing around with the Genesis, but before you knew it he was going deep into Job. Then at night he'd keep himself busy with the Epistels. And in the end he'd even look at Revelation secretly when his wife was out.   

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Alcon is like a mother eagle... so graceful, so pretty to look at... but mess with its babies and it'll claw your f**kin' eyes out.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

There are gay animals, such as penguins.

And you.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Let's start with me and Libertas, for now at least.

To be fair, this is a relevant criticism. If moderating was done consistently and reasonably you would both have been banned a long time ago.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Ron Paul

Barack Obama

[Kaine for Senate '18]

No, the 'Mods' have confirmed otherwise, who do you think you are?

Sending a picture of yourself to Alcon saying "SilentSpade of Atlas Forum" doesn't mean that you don't post from a proxy.