Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted].

[Lief 🗽]

I just wish he would eat like a 60 year old. A week of eating prunes could flush out ten or twenty pounds worth of years of undigested Braums bacon cheeseburgers.

[Lief 🗽]

I am #praying that Bushie also includes some healthy meat on that shopping, instead of just hamburger meat. 🙏🙏🙏

[Lief 🗽]

the lack of news regarding the big wal-mart expedition is particularly ominous...

[Lief 🗽]

mandarin oranges aren't considered a pleasure food? I could eat 10 in one sitting

Considering how beaten into submission Bushie's tastebuds have been by years of fats and sugars, oranges are probably revoltingly sour to him. He'll need to a can of soda after each one just to get the taste out of his mouth.

[Lief 🗽]

Oh god, these job updates are already sounding VERY ominous. Three days and he's still learning how to wrap and put stickers on meat??

[Lief 🗽]

ugh the writers are really laying on thick the foreshadowing for the surprise negative performance review...

[Lief 🗽]

Bushie have you ever studied for something without watching TV at the same time?

[Lief 🗽]

As a proud Texan, Bushie's preparation of nachos is insulting to both me and my heritage.

[Lief 🗽]

The more I see this, the more I'm convinced that everything that is said in these threads are lies. Bushie is actually a skinny, well-off atheist who owns property. He has created a persona to satirize everything yuppie conformist posters hate most; the religious right and it's followers. HockeyDude and Eraserhead are in on it. They plan to end the series by revealing the whole thing was a joke, scorn their audience's naivety, and then quietly leave as the forum becomes a pit of chaos.

We've had crackpot conspiracy theories like this before, but how do you explain Bushie's facebook? Sure, you can create a fake Facebook, but then how do you explain the pictures of Bushie in Kenya? Or the many Facebook friends that comment on his posts? How do you explain the intimate knowledge of MetroTech CAD(D) University? How do you explain Russ Powers? How do you explain our forum members who have met Bushie in real life?

Bushie is real. To pull off a charade like you're proposing would be an unbelievably monumental task.

[Lief 🗽]

snip

[Lief 🗽]

It took me 2 hours 20 minutes to do those learning modules.  The best thing is I will get paid for that time.  I sent the manager an email with the time I spent on the modules.

why didn't you spend like 30 hours on the modules if you're getting paid?

while Bushie is not opposed to getting scammed, scamming others is where he draws the scam line

[Lief 🗽]

It took me 2 hours 20 minutes to do those learning modules.  The best thing is I will get paid for that time.  I sent the manager an email with the time I spent on the modules.

why didn't you spend like 30 hours on the modules if you're getting paid?

while Bushie is not opposed to getting scammed, scamming others is where he draws the scam line

What?  He sold fraudulent health insurance to his own father.

You're right. Scamming employers might be where he draws the line. Remember when he quit the AT&T callcenter despite the fact that he was getting paid to do nothing but sidejack all day?

[Lief 🗽]

mmmm... #breakfastnachos



(of course for Bushie would have to remove the guac, salsa and olives, replace the eggs with a pound of ground beef, triple the sour cream, and get rid of those sinful, sinful cervezas off to the side)

[Lief 🗽]

I wouldn't want him to go on a crash diet. That's basically what he tries to do now--escapades where he tries to go entire days eating a spoonful of Cheerios and Diet Dr. Pepper as his only sustenance.

He needs to cut the crap and start eating chicken and fish instead of beef, vegetables with every meal, and only fruit for dessert.  These aren't crash diets because once you get used to them they become palatable, but if all you want to eat is burgers and shakes then it'll never taste salty enough or sweet enough or fatty enough.

I am of the opinion that small changes are for people like you or me; looking to lose a few pounds in the spring gained in the winter. Complete lifestyle changes are what Bushie needs.

Bushie should probably take up smoking for a couple of months and see what happens.  If he was truthful about what he eats he would not have put on ~30 lbs in the last couple of the years.  Not that what he eats isn't fattening but he definitely reports less of it.  He needs an emergency curb of his appetite.  Doesn't have to be cigs.  He could probably curb his appetite and look more worldly if he gets a hookah or something... although I would be careful about letting anyone see it.  Clears your head, too.  I love the hookah bar once every few months.  

You want Bushie to smoke hookah in Oklahoma?! They'll lynch for him being a no-good, terrorist-loving Muslim!

[Lief 🗽]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

No, you don't.

[Lief 🗽]

Does [redacted] have its own safe room?  Is there a safe place to be if a tornado hits while Bushie is at work?

Presumably they would all huddle together for warmth in the meat freezer and wait for it all to blow over.

[Lief 🗽]

Hideaway Pizza sounds perfect for Bushie's culinary sensibilities based on the description though!

[Lief 🗽]

Bushie lunchtime odds, get your bets in

Whataburger 1:3
Raising Cane's 4:1
Hideaway Pizza 24:1
Healthy food 99:1

[Lief 🗽]

This newest update is very ominous indeed. We've all seen this song and dance before. Everything is going exactly as it always done.

Though, in past Bushie's defense, at least he wasn't pointlessly starving himself for no reason while he worked at his past jobs. Which is ironic, because he was just sitting in a chair at these. Now he has a job with physical exertion and he's decided to fast for his entire shift. RIP Bushie, RIP job, RIP packed meats.

[Lief 🗽]

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow.

Jesus christ Bushie.

[Lief 🗽]

.........

I hope this an April Fool but I'm pretty sure Bushie's faith teaches him that that holiday is a sin.

[Lief 🗽]

Bushie should have spent the month off he had getting into shape and learning about meat (and no, half-heartedly reading a website while watching Northeast Alaska Veterinary School for the Blind vs. San Juan Polytechnic Night School basketball playoffs doesn't count). We told him so! And now he's quitting on his first real day of work.

RIP Papa Bushie's retirement.

[Lief 🗽]

it appears he was sent home early for a reason.

rip.

and all of those saying he will be demoted to bag boy...no way.  that job is much more physically demanding, especially if you have to collect the carts from the parking lot.  bushie wouldnt make it a half day in that position.

Yes, there's really nowhere to be demoted from here. First of all, I don't know about [redacted], but most grocery stores these days don't even have "bag boys"; either the cashier puts your stuff in the bag or you (the customer do). And being re-assigned as a cashier would be a promotion; based on my experience working in this kind of sector, cashiers get paid more and more is expected of them than the manual laborers. If standing is too demanding, then one of the other stock boy jobs (where he'll be walking around, pushing things, unloading crates, collecting carts, etc.) is going to be even more work.

[Lief 🗽]

Really? That's strange. I haven't seen a dedicated bagboy(/girl) in many, many years. It seems like a huge waste of money to me. When I worked at Costco in high school, the cashiers were definitely higher up in the food chain than us lowly folks in charge of stocking the shelves, unloading the boxes, etc. I think I got paid like $10/hour while the cashiers made like $18/hour. They also had actual training, while I was just told to go start filling shelves with food.

Also one time I had to go gather the carts in the parking lot in the middle of the day in July and that was the worst experience of my life.

[Lief 🗽]

LOL Bushie can't even last a whole week at the meat counter before he goes running to another call center scam. Pathetic.

Also King, those Sprouts prices are ridiculous!!! I thought Sprouts was like a Midwestern Whole Foods kind of deal, but those are literally 1/3 to 1/4 what my neighborhood Whole Foods charges. Damn.