February 2022 Federal Election

[Peanut]

I expect this to be my good bye for Atlasia, until such a time as I am bored enough in real life to be drawn back to this particular circle of Hell. A bit over three years is too short a time to spend among such brilliant posters as yourselves: I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

There is hardly any question as to what the best choice to lead our country is, particularly now in the old age of my dear wife Letitia Nut née Rodham, and my dogs, Franklin, Eleanor, and Hick.

You know, I remember back when I was still a very young nut, we used to have proper campaigning, we did. I wanted to vote for fhtagn back then. I was very naïve. I had been registered for a very short time, though, and couldn't give her my support (thank God, as that would later have been embarrassing - I don't know how the people who voted for her in February... 2018? 2019? can live with themselves).

It was around that time I met Letitia, as a very innocent, bright-eyed nut. She supported Pericles. We hit it off right away. She loved politics, but I was very apolitical: I joined some vague centrist party, I think it was called Alliance. There were scandals there, though. Scandalous reports of sordid affairs of all kinds in the higher-ups of the Illinois chapter.

There was a graveyard I loved to visit back then, it was so peaceful, about an hour and a half drive away. Letitia called me a zombie voter because I always went there to clear my head before voting. I thought it was funny. As a matter of fact, that's where Nicole (our ex) is buried: she died under mysterious circumstances back when tmth was President (gosh, that seems like a long time ago!)

I joined the Labor Party and proposed to Letitia on the same day. We invited Sestak to our wedding. He didn't show. Really quite few people did. Then again, the invitations hadn't been sent out! We forgot about it in the excitement of me being elected to the Lincoln Assembly. I was an older nut then, a bit wiser, and I liked working in the legislature. But I had my sights set on higher office.

Letitia convinced me to run for Governor of Lincoln. That was a very long time ago, I barely remember it (heck, I don't know how even older bores than me remember half the things they do!), but I won. By one vote! I beat the former guy, NixonCarter or something like that, and Letitia (who was then heavily pregnant) started checking out drapes for the Governor's Mansion in New York. We had the most beautiful, luxurious drapes: patterns I had never seen before, the best in the history of the region, maybe ever. That was the best time I had here in our lovely country.

I think I then ran for Senate. I won, God knows how. Not much happened then, really.

I was then approached by New Zealander extraordinaire Pericles. Good old Pericles. Is he still around? He asked me to be his Vice President! Never had I been more honored by such an insult. The campaign went smoothly, and we promptly defeated whatever mediocre crank the Federalists (or whichever name they were going with) put up. I didn't like living in Nyman.

The country has changed a lot, and quite frankly, Letitia and I have been enjoying the peace and quiet. I am writing my memoir, Nuts flower in spring, which I hope you'll soon be able to get at the stand in the main hall of the theatre. We have also been fishing a lot, and walking our cats, Belladora and Fauci.

And I think there's only one choice to lead our country now. And that is Parrotguy, for whom no prouder invalid vote has ever been cast. I wish him the best as commander in chief. Should he not win, Mr. Oregon Blue Dog should also make a fine leader despite his refusal to eat socks after having promised to do so. I neither know nor care who the Federalists put up as their... 8th? 9th? sacrificial lamb in a row. I'm an old nut now.

Thank you, and may God bless Atlasia, and may God protect our troops.