Anyone who thinks Elizabeth Warren is a leftwinger - let alone a progressive hero - is absolutely fooling themselves. I could go on and on comparing policy after policy, but we only need to look at one policy to prove that Bernie is the true progressive champion: Student loan debt.
Former Republican Elizabeth Warren only wants to get rid of $50,000 worth of student loan debt, whereas Bernie Sanders wants to get rid of it all. Bernie Sanders is clearly the progressive champion here.
As someone who spent 8 years getting my undergrad philosophy degree at Harvahd university, I have racked up almost $250,000 in student loan debt. This is completely unfair as I worked hard studying, reading, practicing my keg stand, and picking up freshman chicks. I especially worked hard on the latter. It's completely ridiculous that people would expect me to take money out of my trust fund to pay the student loan debt that I purposefully took on.
It's especially hard to pay off debt when you have to pay your lawyer fees for that one time I streaked on 5th avenue. (I did that to impress a chick - she did laugh, so I consider that a success, although after that incident she told me she was too busy to go out with me because she had to feed her friends turtle.) This is also why we need criminal justice reform, and I think president Bernie Sanders would expunge that "incident" (nudity isn't a crime, prudes) whereas Elizabeth Warren wouldn't.
Sorry, I got off on a tangent (it's a word only Harvard graduates know - sorry "working class" readers). The point is, it's not fair that you have to pay a ton of money to get loans for private school. Everyone knows private school students are superior to public school, and the federal government should be bailing out private school students who make bad loan decisions over undereducated & underclass kids in the projects.
The government shouldn't be working for snobby 4 year old toddlers by giving them good, affordable preschool. The government should be working for the top 1% of smartiness people like me. And Bernie Sanders is the progressive champion that will carry my ideals, and so I will unsheathe my sword and fight with the fury of a thousand suns to create a world in his vision.
“I’m a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.”
