Keys to the White House: 1960

[Cabbage]

Gerry would not have previously been able to imagine himself unhappy so soon after being elected Speaker, but the Party had found a way. It wasn't that he disliked the potential nominees; on the contrary, he approved of all of them. And that was his problem. He was Speaker now; his voice counted a hell of a lot more than it had when he was just some firebrand liberal from Chicago. And the five main candidates knew it.

Hubert had tried to use Gerry's friendship with Anton Jepsen to weasel an endorsement out of Gerry, Jack had done the same thing with Tom Kenway, Lyndon had used his posse of New Southerners (including new House Majority Whip Jack Brooks), and Reuther was using some of his friends in the CFL to get into the Speaker's office.

Then there was Adlai. Unlike in '52, when Gerry had bucked him for Kefauver for the Vice Presidency, Adlai wanted it this time. Much of the Chicago machine wanted him to have it, too. And so Gerry found himself without a clear path forward. He thought something entirely unSpeakerly as he flipped through a sheaf of papers.


"Marcus!" Gerry stuck out his hand. The Senator from Florida wasn't his closest friend in Congress, but the two had never gone at it, either. And this amendment idea of his wasn't bad at all.

"Mr. Speaker." Jackson was more formal, but then, he had reason to be more wary in Washington; though they'd gotten over the "Red Chinese Incident," he and President Kefauver were far from friends. "I take it you want to talk about my latest amendment proposal?"

"That I do, Marcus. Doesn't seem like it'd be difficult to pass, especially given our current circumstances." Jackson grimaced. No, he didn't like the President worth beans (or maybe even worth boiled cabbage). "I plan on introducing it to the House myself."

Jackson smiled. "Well then, why all the fuss and feathers to tell me there's no fuss nor feathers?" Behind that smile, he was evidently thinking, And what the hell do you want in return?

"Nothing at all, Marcus. I think it's a splendid idea." Marcus didn't seem particularly inclined to accept that, but he saw no reason to look a gift horse in the mouth, either. The two men shook hands.


"I just don't feel like I'm articulating my points enough." Senator Stevenson muttered unhappily.

"Well, either articulate fewer points or leave them unarticulated, Senator, because we can't fit everything you want to say into a half-hour program. I know it's annoying, but those clowns at the networks want to sell shaving cream and coffee and refrigerator attachments, not to let you finish your speech."

The Senator grimaced at that. He knew it, as much as Gerry did. He'd been baptized by fire in the ways of television during his Senate campaign against Dirksen. God only knows how bad he'd be if he hadn't.

"I know, damn it. I wish it weren't so, but Ike would still be President and the Republicans would be running Foss again if I got everything I wanted in life."

"Amen to that, Senator."


"Gentlemen, I think you all know why I've called you here."

Seated before Gerry were numerous leaders of the Old Guard of the Democratic Party, many of whom had been extremely reluctant to vote for him for Speaker on the House floor. He knew he had to do this right, or things could get ugly come the election.

John McCormack was the first to speak. "You're Speaker now; what more do you want?"

"A united caucus behind me, John. I've seen intrapartisan division at work before back home, and I was the only reason it didn't spill over into a Democratic civil war then." Several of the men nodded at that; they'd all heard tell of how Gerry had saved Daley and Kennelly from themselves. "I can't do that now, gentlemen. You can. I'm aware I'm more left-wing than most of you. I'm aware I'm not even forty years old. I'm aware I look like a flaming jackass for jumping the seniority ranks as much as I did." That got a couple of laughs, although McCormack was still unamused. Jumping the seniority ranks had cost him the Speaker's gavel.

"I'm aware that I'm not ever going to be your favorite man for the job. I'm not stupid enough to ask it of you. But I'm also aware that we have a hell of a majority in Congress, and that, if we're united, we can either push through whatever we please under a new Democratic administration, or raise hell against a Republican one. But we have to stay united. If the Republicans smell weakness, they'll strike. You all know that. They've been in the minority, and usually deep in it, for nine years now. They want us to fall apart more than anything. Which is why we can't, why I know we won't, let it happen." Even McCormack was nodding by the end of Gerry's speech.

"Now, gentlemen, there's a bit of business we need to take care of. Senator Jackson, as you may have recalled, has proposed an amendment in favor of making appointments to the Vice Presidency a possibility. I know you all like it. I'll be introducing it onto the House floor during tomorrow's session. Our job is to make sure every Democrat in the House and thirty Republicans vote for it." He looked toward some of the men who'd been most confused as to why they'd been invited, some of the most conservative members of the caucus. They smirked now. Yes, they knew why they were here; it wasn't just to make sure they followed the leader. Gerry was putting his "we need unity" speech into action.


When Gerry had heard it would be a hundred degrees at the DNC in Los Angeles, he'd been apoplectic. Now, though, he found that a hundred degrees meant more like eighty in LA. It still didn't want to make him move here, though. Eighty was still too hot for a Chicagoite.

Senator Stevenson had firm control of his state's delegation, and Gerry planned to vote for him on the first ballot. If things went sideways, however, he was ready for any nominee. He'd back any nominee to the hilt. He preached party unity again in the speech he made to the convention floor (McCormack, visible in the crowd, was smiling knowingly), and prepared himself nevertheless for a nasty fight.


Stevenson for the Democrats, Smith for the Republicans

[Cabbage]

Gerry blinked a couple of times as Senator Jackson left his office. The man seemed utterly convinced he had him on the hook, that there was no way in hell Gerry'd do anything but support him. He'd also believe anything that made him look good (he was about as much an "expert at speaking" as Marx was on human nature). Senators, he thought with a snort. He might hold a rally or two for Lou Jackson, but he wasn't going to waste much time on getting a Democrat elected in f**king Florida. He'd leave Arnold to duke it out with McMillan, and support whoever won there (not that the solidly blue district was any concern once the convention had spoken).

He agreed with Jackson, though, that it would be either Stevenson or Johnson for the nomination. And he did have to admit that 1960 wasn't looking pretty for the Democrats. He'd been quietly goading more liberal elements of the Republican Party to support Margaret Chase Smith, but it looked like that wouldn't work, which meant Lodge had a hell of a good chance of becoming the 37th President next January. But, if things went sour for Lodge, as he intended them to, 1964 would elect another Democrat. And if the Southerners lined up behind Adlai...

That caveat rankled, though. It gave him an out to support Collins instead of Adlai, and Gerry had no intention of getting snookered.

Which is why he picked up the phone and, after confirming Adlai was at least tentatively on board, called Senator Johnson directly.

"Ah, Gerry. I take it Adlai likes the plan?"

"He does, Senator, but he'd like it better with a couple of additions."

"Such as?"

"A poverty relief bill. A big one."


"Jack, I don't want it."

Senator John F. Kennedy looked at Gerry in seemingly genuine confusion. "But Gerry..."

"No, Jack. I like being Speaker. I just got to be Speaker. I don't want to be Vice President now, in four years, or in twenty years. I want to run the House. I like it, and I'm good at it, and I'd get neither of those things out of being on the shelf for eight years. I respect your consideration, and I'm honored by it, but I will never want to be Vice President."

Jack nodded and stood. "All right, then." And then he went on. "I'm f**ked."


Smith for the Republicans again; if Stevenson goes for the deal, Johnson for the Dems; otherwise, Stevenson again

[Cabbage]

Gerry sighed. Well, here went nothing. Again.

"Well, Senator, looks like your gut was right on this one. I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"Oh, it's fine, Gerry. I understand. God knows I wanted this over and done with one way or another by now myself. Now Lodge will get to run around raising hell, and, if the Republicans win, that's probably what he'll end up doing. Him and his ventriloquist's dummy, Angler. Now, you say we might win the South if I agree to make Markus Jackson my Vice President?"

"That's right, Senator."

Adlai nodded. "And you say that we might be able to grab the border states if we push on Missouri enough?"

"That's right, Senator."

"Good. See to that latter part. I like this idea, but I want to make absolutely sure no one on our side's going to scream over this. God knows Humphrey'll probably s**t when he hears. Get on the horn with Anton and see if you can't nip that one in the bud, huh?"

"You got it, Senator." Gerry left the room, not looking forward to said meeting.


"Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker! What are your thoughts on Governor Angler's claims of your party's corruption?" The press gaggle was going nuts off the ventriloquist's dummy's comments, and, being the leader of the Party in the House, Gerry was naturally the target of their harassing fire. And so, he decided, he'd fire back his own salvo.

"Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that Governor Angler is openly misleading the American public, as instructed by his puppeteer, Senator Lodge. Is it a crime for our party to attempt to push for a nominee as promptly as possible? I think not. I think rather, if anyone is caught up in lies, it is the Governor. He claims his is the party of competence, but did President Warren achieve anything in his four years? He did not. On the other hand, how much good have we done for the American people these past seven years? If you're a veteran, the benefits the government pays you for your service to our nation in its time of need are a product of Democratic rule. If you are past retirement age, your healthcare being affordably assured by law is a product of Democratic rule. If you own a small family farm, the new protections you have against corporate farms that would cripple you financially are a product of Democratic rule.

And, I would go on to note that the Republicans did not have an uncontested convention themselves. And that there was some Angling against what could have been the first female major party nominee for President of the United States. So, let me ask you, mothers, sisters, and daughters of our great republic: can you trust these so-called 'progressives' when they say they care about you? Do you believe that a party can properly hold the title of progressive and competent when it throws a perfectly good U.S. Senator out on her can simply because of her gender? I, personally, do not. And so, to our veterans, to our elderly, to those who care for our elderly financially and personally, to our small farmers, and to our women, I ask you: if the Republicans will disadvantage you with their unending lies solely for their own gain, who is truly corrupt?"

The reporters raced off to deliver their stories. Gerry grinned. And the shot's off. Now let's see what we've hit.


"He's a party hack, and you know it, Gerry!"

And so the dreaded meeting had arrived. Anton was not a happy camper about being asked to bring Humphrey into the fold. No, sir, not at all.

"Anton, look, I know you don't like him. But who else have we got? I know you hate Lyndon more, Jack's toast and an a**hole besides, and Douglas would be the cherry on top of a chaos sundae."

Anton looked square at Gerry. "Hubert's not collapsing."

"But he'd take twenty ballots to nominate, and we both know it."

Anton sighed. He knew Gerry was right, but that didn't mean he liked it. "Give me some time to think about it. I'll want to talk to Hubert about this, and get his opinion. I won't ask you to get your hopes up, but I'm also not going to say 'no' to your face right now. Sound good?"

"As good as I was hoping to get." The two men shook hands, and Gerry left.


"Dick!"

"Gerry!" Congressman Bolling grinned as they shook hands. Here, by contrast, was a man who was quite eager to help Gerry in whatever way he could. "I've already got a number of the delegates onboard [subject to change], and I think we might be able to swing the delegation to Adlai!"

"That's excellent, Dick, excellent. So, what'll we need to do?"

"That's the great thing! They just want this over with, so they're willing to just back Adlai to have done with it [also subject to change]!"

Not the most inspiring reason, but I'll take it. Still, though, Gerry was glad that, in all this chaos, something was going right.


Stevenson