As others have noted in this thread, and as I've noted many times on this site, feminists spent decades saying gender was a completely made up social construct and there were no intrinsic non physical differences between men and women. Anyone who disagreed was a sexist bigot. Now they are saying gender is an innate part of people's identities and if you disagree and take the same position they had about five years ago then you're still a bigot. Understandably there's some confusion here.
It's even more confusing when they continue to use the "OMGEE, GENDER ISN'T REAL" rhetoric in every other context besides trans issues and insist there are no differences between men and women, unless you're a transman/woman, in which case your gender is the defining tenet of who you are.
Feminist "theory" has been pretty incoherent for a long time, but geez, this might be a new low.
Um sweetie, why does everything have to make sense and be logical to you? Are you still hung up on the outdated idea that words have to have objective meaning? Is a little cognitive dissonance really that big a price to pay for supporting trans youth? That's a yikes from me my dude; I'm literally shaking rn.