The Comedy Goldmine(ONLY FUNNY ATLAS POSTS ALLOWED, NO BRTD ALLOWED)

[Michael Z]

Generally, if parents don't let their kids get jobs, and their kids don't  up too badly with their studies, the parents won't hesitate in giving them a few bucks to go to the movies with some blonde skank who wasn't good enough for me. Dammit. She TOLD me she was a virgin. DAMMIT.

[Michael Z]

How is the American University of Beruit? Is it a good college?

What's left of it is excellent!

[Michael Z]

Needs to be read in context:

I'd have loved to have seen JFK recover from those sorts of wounds.

[Michael Z]

If JFK had recovered from his wounds in Dallas,

You do realise he had his brains blown out, right?

Well if they had gotten some half reasonable doctors they could have just put those brains back in.  Duh.

[Michael Z]

Yea Abercrombie has nice clothes, but they have alot of half naked men in their stores. Personally I don't want to see that.

(Afleitch shaped blurr is seen racing towards the the store)

[Michael Z]

Heh heh, I feel like an idiot.  Up until now I've been reading this clown's username as if he were saying, "Yeah, I'm totally down with the left", and I was therefore wondering why he was being such an anti-liberal partisan jackass.

[Michael Z]

IMO, probably the best response to 9/11 would have been to nuke the capitals of Syria, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, and Pakistan.  And invade and annex Saudi Arabia.

And set whatever ratio of Muslims killed vs the 3000 Americans killed on 9/11 (probably 10,000:1 if 30 million Muslims were killed by nukes) as the price to be paid for every American killed by a Muslim terrorist.

[Michael Z]

Laura Bush/Lynne Cheney v Hillary Clinton/Tipper Gore

Discuss with maps...

HC 3 EV
LB 0 EV
Write in: NOTA/SOS 535 EV

[Michael Z]

Needs to be read in context:

"4 g4vvD 50 |_0\/3D 7h3 vv0|=|_D, 7h47 h3 g4\/3 h15 0|\||_`/ 50|\|, 7h47 vvh03\/3|= 63133\/35 1|\| h!/\/\ 5h0|_||_D |\|07 P3|=15h 6|_|7 h4\/3 4|\| 373|=|\|4|_ |_1f3."

[Michael Z]

The mental association involving Clare Short and a 'whip' has put me off my tea and muffin

[Michael Z]

In 1992, Clinton is caught having consensual gay sex with George H. W. Bush a week before election day, so Perot wins in a landslide.  Then both the Democrats and Republicans forget that there's a presidential election in 1996, so Perot wins again.  Stockdale then accidentally jumps off a bridge in 1997, so he's replaced by Pat Choate because Perot thought Pat had a funny name and thought that it would be cool to have him as VP for that reason so he could laugh like a little schoolgirl every time Pat was in the newspaper.

In the 2000 Democratic Primary, Howard Dean does his scream but then he follows it up by murdering every other candidate, so he gets nominated.  He then convinces Russ Feingold to be his VP because he'd murder him too if he didn't do it.  The fact that he murdered a bunch of Democrats gives him massive crossover appeal and he wins the presidential election by a wide margin.  At his inauguration, Newt Gingrich is reported to say "screw this" and disbands the Republican Party in despair.  Leftover Republicans join the Reform Party as an alternative.  They nominate Jesse Ventura in 2004 because he's all like "I'm cool" and then he picks McCain as his running mate in order to actually have someone competent to maybe pick up some slack if the fact that he's cool wasn't enough.  He wins against Howard Dean in a landslide because Howard Dean forgot to murder some more Democrats to regain his crossover appeal.

THE END

[Michael Z]

Fezzy is a lucky guy...Rin-Chan is one sexy gal!

it wouldn't be a true atlas thread without naso creeping it up.

[Michael Z]

NBC interview on Sun afternoon, I don't know the exact time or reporter giving the interview

There's no mention of this interview in the news search or on the NBC News web site.  There are no transcripts, no blog mentions and no relevant Google results.  I am not convinced that this interview exists.

Ok, don't be convinced but I saw the interview and they flashed on the bottom of the screen, "Turner says he is 'progressive liberal'"

He probably saw this on FOX.

[Michael Z]

I'm pumped for the single.  Right in time for Thanksgiving.

I don't know about anyone else, but when I think "Thanksgiving", I sure as heck think "Fall Out Boy".

[Michael Z]

I can't believe I forgot to post this story. On Fridays, my Foreign Government class meets in discussion groups. My group is a very vocal bunch with very diverse opinions. BRTD would love the one guy who wrote in a Green party candidate for every office he could vote for. 

Anyway, two Fridays ago, one of my friends in the group, who happens to be very involved with the Democratic party, gave his commentary on the post election landscape. He was obviously overjoyed that the Dems had won but he was upset about one thing. He told us, "We now actually have to govern. We have responsibility now." At first I thought he was joking but then I realized he was serious. He then told us that those were the same feelings of Temple's college Dem President.

So I have come to the conclusion that many Dems don't care about actually governing. I believe that the two people I spoke about really only cared about beating the GOP and then were actually mad about having to, you know, get things done. The future of the Democratic party is quite promising...

One time I met this guy who was a Republican and wanted to kill all the black people.

I have come to the conclusion that many Republicans want to kill all the black people.

[Michael Z]

What is this about?

Phil has apparently become the crazy guy who shouts at cars downtown about End of Days.

That position is already filled by jmfcst, remember?

No, jmfsct is the crazy guy who shouts at cows in rural areas about the End of Times.  He's too scared to go downtown.

[Michael Z]

A typically non-partisan and not-very-hysterical-at-all assessment from Naso of a Kerry presidency:

On August 16, 2006 thousands are killed in a massive terrorist attack. Seven commerical airliners are blown up over New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, Newark, Miami, San Francisco and Washington, D.C.