Re: An update on the life of your in-house Reverend :) 2

[Torie]

Sigh. Should I say something or not?  Probably not. I don't think it would serve any useful purpose.

[Torie]

OK I have one comment. I find that the fiancee giving the ring back to OKBush's parents rather than to the man himself, a possible indicator of several things, none of them very reassuring, and a couple potentially quite disturbing. In any event, normally a mature person would meet with the chap, explain what is going on, and why she things the marriage is a bad idea, etc. What we may have here are two very immature people, looking for love in all the wrong places. Or maybe not. Just another thing to ponder.

[Torie]

As one who unfortunately learned more than I ever wanted to know about mental illness, I would do a lot of research on bipolar disorders if I were in this situation. In fact I would go to a NAMI course, which in my case I in fact did (they are free). I found it extremely valuable. That condition can become quite horrific, and get worse over time, until later on it burns itself out, which it sometimes does, and sometimes after considerable brain damage. Knowing what medication someone is on, will give one a lot of information about what the shrink thinks the precise disorder is. What happens is that various meds are tried, and depending on efficacy and time periods, the shrinks than reverse engineer the diagnosis, since nobody really knows what is going on, and all the psychotic labels are really just boxes  for what meds seem to work, or not work, and how, over given periods of time, in a given individual.

And yes anti psychotic meds can exacerbate obesity. That is a common side effect.

[Torie]

What do you think about taking a NAMI course BushOK?  I cannot imagine marrying someone who is psychotic without having taken one, not only so that you know what you are getting into, but also so that you can better understand your future spouse, and yes better help her. Yes her, and how to react when she reacts, understanding better what is being generated by the illness, and what not, and how to deal with it. And find out what meds she is taking while you are it, so you can fit that into the matrix charts which NAMI provides. It would also be nice to fully know her case history, from soup to nuts. When did this condition start?  

You know, really loving someone, can take a lot of work if one's love is animated by really caring about someone, as opposed to yourself, and your needs. In my case, you cannot imagine the time I have spent on the matter, out of love. Sure it also cost a lot of money, but writing checks is the easiest part really, if there is money in the bank. The latter is quite a bit harder.

Facing reality is something one can delay, but in the end for most, not really avoid. Eventually, it will all catch up with you. How can one make the most intelligent decisions, with most of the cards in the deck face down?  Life doesn't work that way in my experience.

[Torie]

Bushie needs some serious therapy. He has several issues to resolve.

One of which is that he can't afford therapy.

There are a lot of resources out there for the impecunious, at least in California. If nothing else, one can go to group sessions. That can be a valuable experience. Yes, when I was in jail for my DUI, I could not do much I admit, including letting anyone know I was sitting in jail for 14 hours. But in general, I find that where there is a will, there is a way, with or without money.

[Torie]

I can't believe his parents actually took a firm stand on something.  Anywho, he'll either change his mind, or we'll have a whole new update thread inside of 6 months complete with new wedding plans for his new fiance'.

"Professional Lefty?"  Is someone calling you names or something, Grumps?  I mean, that might be characterized as well, er "hyperbolic." (I mean just because you hate the FBI is hardly sufficient I don't think. Hey maybe you have killed so many brain cells at this point, that you think J. Edgar Hoover still runs it, and it is really just a sartorial comment on the  dresses Hoover liked to try on behind closed doors for the viewing pleasure of his partner.) And you know what it means around here when hyperbole really is hyperbole.  I mean the whole cave as well as the man behind the curtain are on this one like Torie is to a great new strain, or someone 25 (heck 35 is OK too) giving me positive signals.

[Torie]

Per wikipedia, Bell's palsy, seems to be associated with first contracting the herpes virus, and then stress. Well, the stress bit I guess we all knew about. And so it goes.

"Some viruses are thought to establish a persistent (or latent) infection without symptoms, e.g. the Zoster virus of the face[4]  and Epstein-Barr viruses, both of the herpes family. Reactivation of an existing (dormant) viral infection has been suggested[5]  as cause behind the acute Bell's palsy. Studies[6]  suggest that this new activation could be preceded by trauma, environmental factors, and metabolic or emotional disorders, thus suggesting that stress - emotional stress, environmental stress (e.g. cold), physical stress (e.g. trauma) - in short, a host of different conditions, may trigger reactivation."

[Torie]

Per wikipedia, Bell's palsy, seems to be associated with first contracting the herpes virus, and then stress. Well, the stress bit I guess we all knew about. And so it goes.

"Some viruses are thought to establish a persistent (or latent) infection without symptoms, e.g. the Zoster virus of the face[4]  and Epstein-Barr viruses, both of the herpes family. Reactivation of an existing (dormant) viral infection has been suggested[5]  as cause behind the acute Bell's palsy. Studies[6]  suggest that this new activation could be preceded by trauma, environmental factors, and metabolic or emotional disorders, thus suggesting that stress - emotional stress, environmental stress (e.g. cold), physical stress (e.g. trauma) - in short, a host of different conditions, may trigger reactivation."

Even if you were interpreting what Wikipedia is saying correctly (and you're not; it's saying it's been implicated as one possible cause of Bell's palsy, whereas you're implying that herpes causes every case), it's still not the kind of herpes you're implying it is; like BushOK has been saying repeatedly, it's HSV-1, i.e. cold sore herpes, that's being implicated.  Zoster is shingles; Epstein-Barr is mono.

OK, thanks for the info. I am not an MD.

[Torie]

Conflating "God" and sex is no surprise - it all emanates from the same part of the brain.  That is how I see it anyway.

[Torie]

I'm not buying it......

You know, maybe the claims about the performance act thing  ... that I dismissed ... are well ...

Not that I am not into performance acts, because I am. I love them. But I prefer myself to generate ones that are real, and well, more enjoyable. But that is just me.

[Torie]

My parents advised me not to get my car "injured" as I can't afford a wreck.

Problemo numero uno.

Maybe his car has slick tires or something, and he can't afford new ones. Or maybe his driving skills are attenuated. Not everyone can drive in downtown Chicago and in Manhattan (where they honk the horn at you as soon as the light turns green just to be sure that you get you ass moving immediately because time is money) like I have done in my salad days (with a stick shift to boot, and sometimes in a somewhat altered consciousness, but whatever).   By the way, one trick is to just make sure the car you want to cut in front of, sees you, because as soon as you know they do, you just cut in with reasonable confidence that they will have to hit the brakes to avoid hitting you (and an added bonus is to enjoy the fingers you sometimes get, or sometimes some juicy expletives).  Ah, life is grand.

Or maybe he should move to San Diego where it only gets about 10 inches of rain per year (it is amazing how the rain rate drops as you move south. Downtown LA gets 14 inches, where I live in south OC gets 11.5, and San Diego gets 10, and then the desert (below 10) starts at the Mexican border, but alas BushOK does not speak Spanish, and the job market down in Baja Norte is not very good, so 10 inches is about the best he can do (unless of course he moves to Palm Springs, but that is just so gay (plus the gays tend to be on the old side, so they are not very hot), so it might prove to be a culture shock).

[Torie]

Did you guys not read my posts?  I said I DID GO OUT IN THE RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You accuse me of selective reading, but you all have the same disease.  C'mon guys!! Give me a break here!!

Anyway, I have no aspirations for the postal service as I think I have to pay to play for that job.  Plus, I don't see it as a very stable career with the financial trouble the USPS is in.  I think the federal government or the state government is the most stable you can get, and I've got applications in for both.

Why can't you drive in the rain?

[Torie]

Oh, your parents were concerned about you driving in flood waters? You know, new facts not previously disclosed lead to new surmises.

[Torie]

Oh, your parents were concerned about you driving in flood waters? You know, new facts lead to new surmises. Or did your parents say don't drive on wet streets, and initially you said to yourself, great, I can veg out, but then you decided that maybe taking a risk here was worth it?  Or?

They were concerned about the flood waters and the numerous accidents that had happened during rush hour this morning.  Then, the rain came, but the ground handled it real well, and I found a lighter rain batch on radar and ventured out.  I was only gone for an hour, but I had no trouble.

Sorry, guys, I didn't mean to blow up, I am just getting frustrated at this job search.

No problem. I was being an ahole, but some of this stuff is well, trying. In your situation, I would be trying to get a real job 24/7.  It is called well, drive. If I want something, I just go get it.

[Torie]

Are you sending in resumes on line, BushOK?  Have you used governmental services that are out there, to network and get tips about how to find a job?  Have you got any advice about how to draft your resume?  Have you given any thought about how to niche yourself, and what qualities that you think you have that fit well certain kinds of jobs? 

[Torie]

BushOK, I like you, but your passivity is holding you back in my opinion. But I guess you already know that you have a host of issues to work through. Good luck, and I mean that.  

[Torie]

Well, I did it!!  My Christmas Tree is standing upright all decorated and ready to go for the next 77 days until it comes down - Saturday, January 1, 2011!!

Seek help. The truly sane eschew this commercial extravaganza with all its pagan trimmings (not that I have anything against pagans) like Xmas trees, unless they have tots.

[Torie]

If it isn't drugs, sex, violence, conflict, passion, desperation, fear, ecstasy, cheating, lying, crime, high wire act, and the sort, it just isn't a very good soap. Living a soap opera life can be interesting I admit. I rather unexpectedly went into that mode myself. It was quite a wild ride.  

[Torie]

The writers appear to be cancelling the rest of the season.  Linda basically just dumped me before we even had a chance to get started.  The reason?  She wasn't attracted to my outward appearance.  We've only met through facebook and she's rejecting me due to my looks.  Oh well, better luck next time!!

Will this little incident precipitate - finally - any course corrections on your part?  Oh the suspense! 

[Torie]

What is the better way, Al, and why?

[Torie]

What is the better way, Al, and why?

Accept - really accept - that he's never going to make it financially and that there are no quick fixes to his problems. Assuming that all he has said is right, that's one of the main problems; he's clearly greedy in more ways than one and lacks the intelligence to make it work for him. That would seem to be the best way of avoiding the seriously grim ending that looks likely. He needs to change the way he thinks about the world, and his goals in it.

That's not to say that an element of personal responsibility would be a bad thing, just that it would be better for his mental health if it were aimed at specific things (like changing his diet so that he doesn't die within the next five years) rather than at his general plight.

That is what I focused on almost exclusively - his diet. There was zero interest; I might as well have been shouting to myself alone in the shower.  It may be, that Bushie just needs to hit bottom, and at that point, either die or change. (Alas, I have learned all too much about mental illness and addiction of late.) But that is a last resort. What Bushie really needs is courage. How does one find that? And his parents of course need to cease being enablers. Without that, the man will probably die, if I had to guess.

[Torie]

I guess faith that God will bail you out from your own mistakes is a theological perspective. And yes, that can lead to lethargy when it comes to self help I would suppose, as to the rather critical matter of becoming a self sufficient and adequately functioning member of society, and having the self discipline to do that. I would hope Bushie bears that in mind. God may want man to meet him half way as it were - or something.

[Torie]

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You have a severe weight problem, Bushie, that will kill you, and kill you young, and in the meantime, is truncating your energy to meet life, and you health, and yes, your job prospects. Employers don't want to hire fats. That is just taking on an unnecessary risk. One of my first cousins who was also a lawyer, and did in fact work and was self supporting, and with whom I was quite close, looked like you. He died a rather hideous death at about 43 years of age.

But it never ceases to amaze me, just how many of our species do such self destructive things. Why?

[Torie]

Bushie, if you don't give good phone (wasn't that established in the last episode?), how is this going to work out for you again?

[Torie]

Regarding the electrician thing, I am not sure a fat could fit into the tight spaces into which  a wiring guy needs to fit. I have seen the slither-in act with my own two little beady eyes.