The Update for Everybody Else

[Torie]

I don't even know what I said to her, Sanchez.

I've already forgotten. I just hope I didn't tell her about Bushie.

The quality of your recollection, makes you a perfect candidate for the Obama cabinet, or a high position in the IRS. And what difference does it make?  It's over now.

[Torie]

I don't even know what I said to her, Sanchez.

I've already forgotten. I just hope I didn't tell her about Bushie.

The quality of your recollection, makes you a perfect candidate for the Obama cabinet, or a high position in the IRS. And what difference does it make?  It's over now.

I am taking a lot of tax law classes, and I think I am going to pursue an LLM, so a position at the IRS in the future may not be out of the question. It's the perfect place

What is the difference between realization of a capital gain, and a recognition of one, counsel?

You do know that being a tax lawyer is the most demanding specialty when it comes to raw intellectual power and ability to deal with the Byzantine and complex, and also requires an almost absolute mastery of economic theory to really master the game don't you?  I have spent hours, and hours, at a time, brooding about a complex tax problem, and then -  as my egomaniacial side waned a bit, and I became more clearly aware of my own relative ignorance - I would seek out other expert advice, and sometimes still not be reasonably confident that I knew just where the prudent groove  to move down lay, with considerable sums at stake, sometimes millions of dollars.

And so much is about judgment calls, because in the end capital gains and ordinary income are identical concepts economically for example, so where one ends, and the other begins, has to rely on convention, and convention can never keep up with modern finance, and the ever new and novel deal structures, which mine the grey areas of the code, because they go where no man has yet gone before in creative slicing and dicing of the pie in a contract deal, sluffing risk here, hedging there, assuming it over there, and having just the right affiliate, or lack thereof, relationship (itself a term of art) with this party or that.

You are a brave man Dukey. But I am not sure that you have the temperament for it. You are a people person, and brooding about convoluted texts, packed with terms of art, requiring a lot of peripheral vision in other disciplines, is the life of the lonely long distance runner in the end - an almost obsessive loner. It is just you and the texts, doing something that if you chatted about a cocktail party, folks would never invite you to another one, because you would be a terminal bore. The very best though become fabulously rich. The worst rely on their malpractice policies to keep from becoming bag people.

[Torie]

...a terminal bore.

Thank you. I am pleased that you derived some meaning (and pleasure) from what otherwise might as well to you be the chatter of some space alien speaking in its native tongue.

[Torie]

Your priorities in going to Asia are clearly different than mine, anvi. But have a good trip. Different strokes for different folks and all that. We are both savoring "the culture" in our own personal little ways.

[Torie]

Don't do liberal arts. They're all useless degrees.

Isn't liberal arts what one does before law school?

Yes, Dukey is missing the forest through the trees on this one. The best lawyers are well grounded in the liberal arts, and economics for that matter. It is what gives them peripheral vision as it were, not to mention skill at the use of logic and writing skills, and vocabulary and all of that good stuff, which is how we earn our keep.

[Torie]

Don't do liberal arts. They're all useless degrees.

Isn't liberal arts what one does before law school?

Yes, Dukey is missing the forest through the trees on this one. The best lawyers are well grounded in the liberal arts, and economics for that matter. It is what gives them peripheral vision as it were, not to mention skill at the use of logic and writing skills, and vocabulary and all of that good stuff, which is how we earn our keep.

Well, if he's looking to go to law school, liberal arts is fine. I did a double major in economics and political science. But I'd never recommend a liberal arts degree to someone who had no interest in law or something similar. A political science degree is almost useless on its own.

Yes, poli sci, is just pseudo social science, and hardly a real discipline at all. It is more akin to liberal graffiti, rather than liberal art. Once I realized that, I got the hell out of that particular barrio.

[Torie]

I am proud to say I am employed for the summer. I'm working for my uncle's friend's mob/real estate law firm in town, and I'll probably spend my summer looking up titles, random b*tch work, and delivering things to the court house. What fun it will be!

Congrats. SC doesn't have title companies, and uses the same ludicrous (and inefficient and guild protecting) system as Iowa?

[Torie]

This is definitely a mob firm. All their clients are Italians or Greeks, and my boss told me the firm was super aggressive in the real estate market in Charleston and never apologizes for what he does because there's money to be had.

Also, all my coworkers hate each other and one had a mental breakdown and left for the day, so most of the work I was supposed to be doing isn't happening. This is going to be an interesting summer.

What does being "super aggressive" in the real estate market mean, in particular for a law firm, and what does not have to do with organized crime?

[Torie]

I really don't know what she meant by that, but apparently this is one of the bigger real estate firms in town, but I know little about closing because I have yet to buy a home of my own.

The head attorney told me during my interview that he hopes I will be able to conduct a closing with a real client by the end of the summer, but part of me thinks "closing" in this context actually means killing someone as opposed to closing on a real estate transaction. Just a thought...

You sure that you are just ingesting alcohol these days Dukey?  LSD can be a powerful drug Dukey.

[Torie]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

That sounded really interesting, and I was going to inquire of afleitch about the possibility of securing sloppy seconds, but then I read the context.

[Torie]

I get to go look up wills at the probate court tomorrow. I wonder if I can look up my granddad's will and see what he's leaving me?!

Are these wills you're looking up (sans grandad) soon to be deceased people?  If so, I'd advise them to do exactly as they're told by the mob lawyers you work for.

That is my assumption. I wouldn't dare ask what they're for.

Wills are not filed with the court until a probate is opened. If one has been opened, sorry about your granddad.

[Torie]

I get to go look up wills at the probate court tomorrow. I wonder if I can look up my granddad's will and see what he's leaving me?!

Are these wills you're looking up (sans grandad) soon to be deceased people?  If so, I'd advise them to do exactly as they're told by the mob lawyers you work for.

That is my assumption. I wouldn't dare ask what they're for.

Wills are not filed with the court until a probate is opened. If one has been opened, sorry about your granddad.

Even lay people know this El Toro. They set up the trusts, wills, etc...whack the people then settle the estates. Perfect mob arrangement.

Yes, that is the plot line right out of an Hawaii 5-0 show about 25 years ago. (The overlay was that the heir would sell his expectancy to the bad guys, who would then off the bequestor. It's a win win. The heir gets some dough now and avoids the risk of "disinheritment," and the bad guys make a nice quick profit.)  So you're right. Lay people watch television, and often assume it's reality.

What is this "el toro" bit about btw?

[Torie]

What is this "el toro" bit about btw?

That was Grumps's name back when he was doing porn in the 80s. I'm surprised you haven't seen it, seems right up your alley.

I wish I could believe that is true, but thanks anyway. No, if it is not gay porn (I assume it is not), then no, it's not up my alley.  But if it's well done and artistic, kudos to Grumps, as seen through the lens of yourself at least, be it the jive frame or otherwise. This particular iteration of Grumps (he seems to have something of a portfolio of iterations), made the planet a bit better for some folks, and that's what it is all about.

[Torie]

Another slow day in the office. Today, all the coworkers in the firm started reading my Yelp restaurant reviews, and that caused quite a stir.

We've warned you about drunken postings, Dukey!

I wasn't drunk when I wrote them!

No research projects where you are asked to look into something where the law is a mess, with no answers, and was just waiting for some summer clerk to dump it on, because nobody else wanted the turd?  You are living a charmed life Dukey.

[Torie]

What does mastering powerpoint have to do with teaching folks how to scan pieces of paper, Dukey?

In our law firm, everything is scanned (and word searchable so one document out of thousands can be found within a few seconds) . We don't keep paper anymore, and we don't have a storage facility to house old documents. That is just so yesterday.

Is there any prospect in the future that you will be treated like a nascent lawyer, rather than a fancy paralegal or administrative assistant?

[Torie]

Real estate lawyers outside title company title search stuff in some states do the following, among other things that come to my mind:

1. Document real estate sales and financing (often complex in real estate developments, where the risk of securing entitlements, and sometimes even actual sales, and ensuing profits, is shared between Seller and Buyer)
2. Draft leases (long term land leases are extremely complex)
3. Prepare partnership or LLC agreements governing the wedding, marriage, and divorce of the co-owners.
4. Draft easements, use agreements, HOA documents (a sub-specialty sometimes), license agreements, common area maintenance agreements
5. Research matters, such what runs with the land, what perfects adverse possession, rights to incorporeal hereditaments such as light and view, remedies for landlocked parcels, the legal result of meandering and avulsing river flow channels, water rights, subsidence and drainage issues, etc.
5. Negotiating and drafting entitlement agreements with local governments.
6. Zoning issues, and the right or lack thereof to variances therefrom.
7. Partition rights or lack thereof
8. Development issues in redevelopment districts, and for properties on historical registers.
9. Section 8 housing issues for rentals.
10. Environmental issues, and in particular EIR and hazardous waste issues and investigations.

[Torie]

Planned to have a boy toy tonight, but I got distracted drawing yet another Michigan map. My priorities suck!

[Torie]

Planned to have a boy toy tonight, but I got distracted drawing yet another Michigan map. My priorities suck!

You can't find a boy toy by waiving a couple of Benjamins on some seedy street corner near by?  Good God  man where do you live?

In Laguna Niguel?  LOL.

Yes, anvi, it's just pathetic isn't it?  And now Muon2 is attacking my map as "disappointing," so I had to go into a Swiss triage mode to buttress my defenses. So more valuable play time is down the drain. Boo!

[Torie]

That update is really a cancer coursing through this forum. Just my opinion. I am not agitating to excise the cancer. But Bushie should be profoundly ashamed of himself. That is just my opinion too.

[Torie]

That update is really a cancer coursing through this forum. Just my opinion. I am not agitating to excise the cancer. But Bushie should be profoundly ashamed of himself. That is just my opinion too.

Can't really be a cancer when it is better than the host..

Ouch!    Why are you "here" then pray tell if this place in your mind is the cyberspace equivalent of the "Bad Place?" And how can it really be so bad, when you have the opportunity here to yank my chain from pillar to post? Isn't that at least a little modest silver lining to it all? 

[Torie]

And I am tired of folks in parking lots driving big SUV's and whatnot that they really don't know how to drive, and failing to watch out for folks starting to pull out of parking spaces who can't see the behemoths because their line of sight is blocked by other cars, leading to fender bending. The SUV invention is one of the great banes of my existence; the road slugs also block my view forward on the highway. The licensing fees for the contraptions should be quadrupled immediately, so that the owners start paying their "fair share" for all the negative externalities they cause. End of rant.   

[Torie]

Headed off tomorrow morning with bf in tow to the Castro District in SF for non-PG rated shows, dancing (gonna get some hot new boots for the dance floor today), and certain other aerobic activities, and then down to Santa Cruz for the Cabrillo Music Festival for 3 days (probably run into my  brother from whom I'm estranged there and have not seen since our mother's memorial service about 2 and a half years ago cuz he's a Christopher Rouse groupie, which should be well ... interesting). I'll be back next Tuesday, so the two Boards that I superintend will basically be a free fire zone while I am gone. Have fun!

[Torie]

Headed off tomorrow morning with bf in tow to the Castro District for non-PG rated shows, dancing, and certain other aerobic activities, and then down to Santa Cruz for the Cabrillo Music Festival for 3 days (probably run into my  brother from whom I'm estranged there and have not seen since our mother's memorial service about 2 and a half years ago cuz he's a Christopher Rouse groupie, which should be well ... interesting). I'll be back next Tuesday, so the two Boards that I superintend will basically be a free fire zone while I am gone. Have fun!

So your brother is going to get to meet, Memo?  Oh that should be special.

Memo = Hispanic straight business partner in the doors and windows business (although we have both "procured" as it were for each other as it were from time to time).

Dan = bf

Could you please copy and paste this Grumps and put it in a safe place so that you can regularly refer to it for memory refreshment purposes?  Thanks bro.

[Torie]

Well it is a small world I guess. I think I posted I was busted for pot possession in Winterset, Iowa, and spent a couple of hours in the city jail, until one of the deputies chauffeured me, with me sitting in the front seat unshackled, to the ATM to get bail money. Now the city police chief wants to buy one of our lots to build his dream home, and we have become good buddies. If we agree on price, I think one of the terms will be that if he lives within the family real estate empire, that he won't bust me for pot again. That would not be good!

And there you have it.

[Torie]

Wow so Torie is a slumlord now? Congrats man! I hope to break into the slumlord business once I've worked as a lawyer for a few years and saved up enough money.

No, this is a lot, with a broken down old house which will be torn down (a great 60's hippie pad, and neat place to smoke pot since it is right next to the rushing river (but 15 feet above up a semi-cliff so no flooding risk) in a totally private location, but just 5 minutes from the downtown square in Winterset). This is part of the Iowa farm that the clan inherited that my great grandfather bought in 1879 (I have but a 1/6th interest but do all the work because I am able and can - but that is OK, I don't mind helping out relatives, and my cousins actually kind of need the money). My other properties in hip LA may be "slums" (not really - I only buy stuff that I would live in, and have in fact lived in a couple of years in a unit in a triplex that I bought in 1979 to get my first tax write-off), but I charge a fortune in rent for them.  Want a 2 bedroom apartment? That's about 3K per month now.

Anyway, if the police chief does not meet my price, I may buy out my relatives as to this 3.15 acre lot. I really love the place. I might refurbish the hippie pad, so I can hang out there (plus Muon2 can stay there when he drives west as a pit stop), as I subdivide and maneuver and plot and importune to get my way with the bureaucrats (everybody, and I mean everybody, in Madison County and City of Winterset government now knows me all too well,  including inter alia the police), to derive the maximum out of the farm. I just love drawing lines on a map of course. Who knew?

Good luck btw with your ambitions Lief. I'm pulling for you, despite the fact that if you get rich, you will probably start contributing money to the other party.