How forumites have evolved (or not) on equal marriage

[Torie]

I notice that my name nowhere appears. I had it all "figured out" before most of your were born.

[Torie]

I notice that my name nowhere appears. I had it all "figured out" before most of your were born.

You didn't figure everything out.

I meant in the political realm. In the personal realm, I am a mere child. It's a grand adventure!

[Torie]

...
... Mikado hates being on the same side as most people, mainly because he doesn't much like people in general.

Hmmm ...that is sort of the place that I used to be underneath my rather polite veneer. It's not a good place imo. I feel much better about myself having left it.

[Torie]

The first time I ever heard about the issue was when I was only seven, long before either my sexual or poitical awakening. My mother and grandmother were having a discussion about it. What I said then was that people should get to marry the persons they love.

So I can proudly say that it's one of my political views that has never needed to evolve.

Not that there's anything wrong with having gone through an evolution. BRTD's witch hunt on people like Ben is just silly. The important thing is where people end their journey, not where they start.

And the longer and more arduous the journey, the more one might commend the chap for his efforts.

[Torie]

Have you documented this journey anywhere, Torie? I wouldn't mind reading it.

No, I was not referring to myself, as to supporting the gay marriage issue (I have been in favor of gay marriage since rocks cooled). If you mean coming to understand my sexuality, perhaps I could elaborate on that more if you wish. I would have to give some thought as to how to compose it. But for now, let me just say that I am relatively close to the borderline as to sexuality (or thought I was), as opposed to out on the tail of the bell curve. I also did not have the driving sex drive that I have now, after I got buffed and "hormoned" up, which made the matter more "pressing" as it were. It literally had a substantial impact on my personality.

Looking back with the self understanding that I have now, though, it does seem to me that I was gay from day one - from my very earliest childhood memories. It is kind of amazing isn't it, that no matter how smart and educated you are, on some things you have no understanding about yourself at all - perhaps because you just don't want to find out. I will have to ponder that.

Let me know if you would like a longer essay on all of this, Holmes. Thanks. I am flattered by your interest! 

[Torie]

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I have been very happy the past few years, and at peace with myself, as I embarked on my own little journey of discovery, with less pressure bearing down on me from my career. But before that, and even before coming here, I was always for some reason an equanimable poster, and seem to get along well with others, including those who disagreed with me. On the nets, I had very good diplomatic skills I think. But I was far more private than now, and not too happy with myself as a person in some respects. Now I just let it all hang out.   And I have always enjoyed being something of a teacher.

[Torie]

Angus hits the nail on the head. The single most effective change agent is folks getting to know out of the closet gays whom they respect and admire as human beings. It is not as easy to objectify groups once you get to know, and know well, and respect, some of them. It just isn't.

[Torie]

Speaking of referenda, how many here use the word "datum" for just one piece of data? The point is, is that the Latin influence in English is slowly fading away, and what used to be "wrong" is no longer, just perhaps less preferred. Heck, that horrible excrescence "irregardless," is no longer wrong, just "substandard," which really sucks.

[Torie]

I think everybody should be compulsed to be married to everybody else.

compelled.

[Torie]

But that as it may be Memphis, but a lot of folks just didn't think very deeply about the issue, and were not exposed to the back and forth, until the issue gained salience in the public square. One does not have the time to ponder every possible issue out there, and make an informed choice, while just carrying on with the life, and all of its challenges. We cannot all be armchair intellectuals all the time in other words.

[Torie]

We cannot all be armchair intellectuals all the time in other words.

I resent that...I'm a sofa intellectual.  The idea that anyone should think while sitting up implies that I should be coming up with ideas while I'm in my office, and that's just fkg wrong.  

I've seen your mug shots and nothing about the images seen suggested anything remotely resembling a sofa. Rather as was thinking more along the lines of a roustabout working the rigs in the Bakkan Basin.