Bacon King over ModLeaks, no?
Right, though I would hesitate to apply term "disgraced" here.
wow f you dude
Yeah it was a big league mistake and a lack of judgement to gave Tweed my password. I took responsibility for my mistake and I accetped the repercussions.
Frankly I think it's incredibly insulting that you consider my actions to be worse that literally forcing one's friends and family to waste hundreds of dollars on a fraudulent health "insurance" "plan"-- the comparison is offensive.
I also feel unfairly treated -- bullied, even, -- that you apparently can never resist the urge to bring it up at every chance you get. You constantly imply that I'm a complete dunce and that my mistake is representative of some sort of innate character flaws. You've known me on this forum since 2007. You should have ample evidence in your memories to understand my mistake was a unique circumstance and entirely unlike any behavior I've exhibited both before and since.
In case you (or others) were not clear on the specifics:
1. I have a psychiatric disability that would quickly become debilitating if not for the 7 pills I take every morning.
2. The month prior to my ban, my doctor was concerned about potential interactions with some of my prescriptions so he changed my mood stabilizer to a different brand
3. I pay out of pocket because I don't have (and cannot afford) health insurance. As a result, for most years my annual medical expenses are above 100% of my annual income, because increasing that mountain of debt ever higher was actually the least bad option available to me at the time
4. I arrive at the pharmacy to pay for all my prescriptions - the new drug was ~$350 more than twice as expensive as all my other medications combined. I literally don't thave the money to pay for it and none of my friends or family had that kind of money sitting around to lend me. At the time I couldn't even afford the $150 appointment fee I would have needed to visit my doctor a second time to request a different prescription that was within the realm of what I could possibly afford.
5. I therefore went weeks without access to a crucial medication. Without the mood stabilizer my bipolar disorder became "unbalanced" from the even level it should be at, and my mood/perspective/personality quickly shifted into full blown mania. During my PM conversations with Tweed, I was incredibly manic in a way I hadn't felt in at least five years, if not more
6.
Scientific research has consistently documented that individuals suffering from bipolar mania experience impaired judgement and poor decision-making. In fact let me just go ahead and quote a portion of the article:
7. I am cognizant of the mistake I made with Tweed, and I accept responsibility for it because even if I couldn't avoid the impulse to offer him my password, it's my own responsibility to have some coping skills to use in such situations, like take a step back for a second and discuss my impulses with my fiancee rather than immediately acting on them. This is a skill I have learned since I lost my moderator position and it would have been very useful around that time!
8. After I was banned my mania kept growing continually worse until I embarrassingly had a complete nervous breakdown in front of my entire family which was extremely embarrassing but afterwards my dad found the money to pay for my medication and within days I was acting and feeling like a completely normal person again
tl;dr I have a very bad psychiatric disability and due to circumstances beyond my control I was not properly medicated and experienced a severe lack of judgement. I would appreciate if you stopped judging me based on a single isolated incident when I was at my very worst, thanks
