Atlasian Messenger

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I hope you dont hate me for voting nay, SoS. I did notice you took my banner out of your sig.

That wasnt for negative reasons, though. I needed room for the Reading Resistance pic, and I hate having two rows of pics. I figured that, being an out-of-towner, my sig wouldnt do much anyway. I want to assure you that I have no hard feelings about it at all, and that I am supporting EarlAW in the District 1 run-off, and doing it proudly, my friend.

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Cheese of the week!

This week: Roquefort

Yes, this week the Atlasian Messenger welcomes a new article: The Cheese of the Week! As a huge fan of all kinds of cheese, the editor in chief is proud to bring you this fine new addition to the paper.

Roquefort, one of France's most famous cheeses, is one of the few cheeses in the world that is made in just one town, Roquefot-sur-Soulzon. Along with many European cheeses, Roquefort comes from ewe's milk, instead of cow's milk. It takes three months to make a truly great batch of Roquefort, as it as blue cheese created by penicillium roqueforti mold. The mold is found only in nearby caves, which explains the legend of its beginning. According to legend, a shepard is eating cheese in a nearby field. When he sees a beautiful girl, he rushes out to meet her. When he comes back, his regular cheese has turned to Roquefort! The cheese is unique in that it has many different flavors, distinct enough in themselves that its almost like it goes through stages of flavor. It is a semi hard cheese with an edible exterior. So today, salute the French for thier wonderfully delicious (and very old [It was first praised by Pliny the Elder in 79 CE]) blue cheese, Roquefort!

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Hey-O! I am proud to announce that The Atlasian Messenger has officially hit 7000 views! Huzzah! I would like to thank all of my loyal readers, as it is because of you! And so, in honor of this, I hereby declare this week Letter to the Editor week! All week I encourage you to post in the AM thread your letter to me regarding any Atlasian issue, be it senate actions, election results, or current Atlasian sports. You name, you write, I respond to it. Go to town, my spirited readers!

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You are absolutely right. In fact, and I have just skimmed it, but I believe the last time Kevin wasnt invalidated was the August elections......which Kevin didnt vote in. Keep trying Kevin, keep trying, I love your enthusiasm and wish you the best in escaping the technialities.

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AM Interview: kljackson

I want to first thank Alcon for translating for me.


Me: Thank you for sitting down to talk to me today, sir.

kljackson: ...

Me: Recently you have been offered a spot on a presidential ticket with GPorter. Are you going to join him in his executive ambitions?

kljackson: ...

Me: I see. Do you have political ambitions of your own?

kljackson: ...

Me: Very interesting. You suffer from mass unpopularity, including being the most ignored member on the forum. How do you propose to overcome this obstacle?

kljackson: ...

Me: Another problem will surely be your experience. You currently have a rather low post count of 0. Do you believe you can make up for your lack of time in the Atlasian political arena?

kljackson: ...

Me: If you do run for an office, what will your platform include?

kljackson: ...

Me: And last, lets get a little personal: Whats your favorite food?

kljackson: ...

Me: hahaha.....very nice. I enjoy that too. Well, I appreciate you sitting down with me, kljackson.

kljackson:...

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Sweet! Now I can make a new fancy logo for my award winning news organization!

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Sweet! Now I can make a new fancy logo for my award winning news organization!

I was being sarcastic

O rly?

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Senate headed towards ridiculous discussion in coming days

I dont always go looking through the senate legistion introduction thread, as I figure it will hit the floor eventually anyway. I was bored today, however, and so I decided to take a look. What I saw was pretty......retarded. Apparently these are "Who can out radicalize the other" days. Here are the last three bills to be announced:
Atlasian Flag Burning Amendment (DownWithTheLeft)

1.) Burning of the flag of Atlasia shall become a prosecutable offense
2.) Individual states may introduce there own penalties will cannot be less than a $500 fine and no greater than 10 years in prison
Mmmmmmmmm....I love the smell of my rights being wittled away in the evening. The fact that we are even gonna think about giving 10 years in prison to someone for burning a flag makes me shudder. Every other sophisticated country has shown that without a shadow of a doubt that flag burning is not somehting to be punished, as it is, while stupid, not harmful, and arguably not even un patriotic. Freedom of speech, since it is extended to dance, music, and the like, must sure be extended to this, especially when this is MY PROPERTY! I request the senate not even see this bill, as it would have to be a constitutional amendment, not a law. If it passes as a law, I will sue the senate's brains out, and win.

Bill to Raise the Retirement Age(Ebowed)

1. F.L. 13-15, Clause 1, which states, "A senior shall be defined as a person aged 60 or older" is amended to read "A senior shall be defined as a person aged 65 or older."
2. Persons under 65 receiving benefits shall not have their status altered.
3. This bill will take effect one month after it becomes law.
Without any serious proof of economic problems in Atlasia, I see little need for this. If there was proof that it was necessary to save the economy or Social Security, then fine, I would support it, but without it, all this is is an attempt to tkae 5 years of active enjoyable life away from Atlasians. Highly unecessary, and really quite sad.
Creation of Federal Holidays Bill (Ebowed)

1. January 22 is hereby Women's Rights Day, a federal holiday.
2. February 24 is hereby Mexican Flag Day, a federal holiday.
3. May 17 is hereby LGBT Rights Day, a federal holiday.
4. July 2 is hereby Civil Rights Day, a federal holiday.

First of all, I would like to begin with this: Mexican Flag day?!?!?! Isnt this Atlasian? Why in the world do we have a Mexican Flag day as a federal holiday. Unofficial holiday, sure whatever, why not? But as a federal holiday, I think we should stay with things relating to......us. As for the other parts, I find the first and third to be uneeded propoganda. If anything people will be annoyed by it, not truly celebrate it (at least not the third one). Federal holidays should be agreed upon by a healthy majority of Atlasians, I would think. As for the fourth, its pretty much just fluff, btu I do love a good day off, so I guess its off the hook.


Senators, you may as well take the days these bills come up off, as you jsut may use more intelligence doing the newspaper's morning sudoku than you will debating these bills.

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I knew it. Zackh hates gays and women.

Oh noes. Ive been discovered. -_- Ill just go change my party registration to KKK! nao...



Oh! And dont forget Mexicans!

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Oh Im sure there are, Mr. Senator. I, however, am far too lazy to write an opinion on everything. And so, I pick big events, like this trio of questionableness to write on. Note that your bills dont even hold the majority of my criticism.

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The retirement age was 65 until the relevant bill making it 60 was passed.  I don't know anyone who doesn't consider the clause which made it 60 to be anything but a mere oversight.

And yes, technically we are in a deficit although that is not my reason for wanting to raise the retirement age.  There is a lot of stigma associated with retirement, and practically forcing seniors into retirement earlier than necessary is quite unfair.

You know, you can work after the reitrement age. My grandfather is turning 70 and still works 3 (sometimes 2) days a week because he can. It isnt a "you cant work" its a "you dont have to if godforbid you'd like to have some Golden Years while you still can."

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Cant Find a Candidate? Be One!

Today the Atlasian Messenger has a simple message for its viewers. As we close in on another series of elections, I urge my readers to, rather than search for change in candidates, be the candidate for change! Atlasia has seen an explosion of activity, new voters, and new ideas, but if this wave of new never finds itself in Atlasian office, it will all have been in vain. So go out and put your offer on the table, theres nothing to lose! At the same time, I would also like the voters of Atlasia to not put so much emphasis on experience this time around, as it often overshadows the real issues and even candidate quality. Lets see democracy truly in action this August.

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Lets see emocracy truly in action this August.

What does BRTD have to do with any of this?

lol

Gotta love when a good op-ed is killed by a typo. Good catch though.

I won't be running for Senate for the following reasons:
1. I'm running for reelection as Lt. Gov.
2. PBrunsel is doing a good job (See the National Weekly Atlasian, page 2 for our Senatorial vote rankings.)
3. Yet another unsucessful Senate run could ruin my credibility as a candidate.

.........good for you?

I don't want to be a candidate due to my relative lack of experience in high offices, but I'm not enthusiasmed to say the least by any of the D4 candidates thus far. What do you propose?

Well, maybe a "Draft _____" campaign for someone else in your region that you think would be a good candidate.

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Almost forgot!

Cheese of the Week

Camembert

A soft, creamy cheese, Camembert is a member of a small group of popular cheeses that are unpasteurized. Camembert is made only in wheels, often being packaged like cake or pie slices. Interestingly, in the first few days after production, Camembert is hard and crumbly, but as time goes on it gets runny, and the flavor grows strong. It is served at room temperature, but loses almost all of its characteristics and flavor after heating. It will, like most cheeses, be served with wine, often on bread. Camembert was invented in the late 18th century in Normandy by Marie Harel. It was heavily inspired by Brie, which is why it shares so many characteristics with it. The cheese is always white nowadays, but when fungi could not be controlled, the color was completely chance, sometimes being blue grey, and covered in brown spots. Eww.

Two interesting facts:

France sent Camembert to its troops in WWI, thus making it a famous part of French culture.

Salvor Dali's "Persistence of Memory" is said to have been inspired by hte melting properties of well ripened Camembert.

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bumpity >_>

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Ebowed Streak of Legislation Solid, Progressive

Rarely do you find a senator that introduces as much legislation as Senator Ebowed, and you cant deny that. Lately, however, he has doubled up his efforts. Not only are the last four pieces of legislation introduced written by him, but they are also very good bills.

Lets take a look:

Water Purity Bill
1. No person shall supply for drinking any water that he knows does not meet the primary drinking water regulations set by the Environmental Protection Agency.
2. Any person who violates clause 1 of this act shall be imprisoned for not more than 3 years, or fined not more than $10,000, or both.
3. Sections 1 and 2 shall only apply within the District of Columbia and all federal territories.

This is just a no brainer. The fact that we have let our water go unregulated this way for so long is kinda scary! Drinking water is something that is so used in our society; we cant let just anything put placed in a plastic bottle and sold! No more greenish tint to my H20.

Ratification of the Convention of the Rights of the Child Bill

1. Atlasia hereby ratifies the Convention of the Rights of the Child, as agreed to by the United Nations General Assembly on November 20, 1989, and signed by U.S. Secretary of State Madeline Albright on February 16, 1995.

Yeah, it is probably just ceremonial, but still. I think passing this will be a good sign to our commitment to children to give them a happy, healthy beginning to thier life. Never hurts to do some UN action, keeping foriegn relations up.

Cruel and Inhumane Treatment Bill

1. The government of Atlasia officially condemns the practice of torture and affirms the principles of the Geneva Conventions as well as its commitment to its prohibition of cruel, degrading, inhumane, and/or humiliating treatment of suspects or prisoners.
2. No evidence obtained from the use of torture will be admissable as valid in a court of law.
3. All branches over which the Atlasian government has jurisdiction, including the military, are required to accord to non-citizens all of the relevant rights of citizens (namely, the right to a fair trial and the right to be free of cruel, degrading, inhumane and/or humiliating treatment).
4. The government of Atlasia will refuse to return any person to their home country if there is any chance that they will be tortured.

This bill will be great for foriegn relations. Re affirming our strict following of the Geneva Conventions will have people supporting our war efforts much more assuredly. By the way, did I mention the whole human rights improvement thing? This bill goes above and beyond by saving internationals who are at risk of being tortured.

Racial Profiling Bill

1. No branch of law enforcement shall be permitted to use the practice of racial profiling in attempting to catch or determine suspects.
2. "Racial profiling" is defined as the use of selecting someone for targeting solely on the basis of their skin color, race, language, or nationality being perceived as more likely to commit a crime than someone of a different skin color, race, language, or nationality.

No duh bill number four. Discrimination is a horrible thing, and to allow it at the national level? Ugh. What a sickening thought. One step closer to complete equality! (We're gonna get thier eventually......seriously.....we are gonna....just...after this commercial break.........)

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Newswire

The Atlasian Messenger has gotten a hold of a leaked email being transferred inside the  Speed of Sound offices, which included this image:



Speed of Sound has yet to make any comment on the discovery. We will keep you updated as we get more news.

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The President actually....doing something? Wow!!!

Here we go, Atlasia. Here's our shot. We have one chance to actually have our presidential elections matter! After years of the president sitting and signing, the revolutionary Colin Wixted, whose choice to be re-elected will bump me out of the presidential race with my endorsement, continues, along with Jas, to push executive involvement to a whole new level, not that thats difficult. The amendment passed by the senate this week allows for the presidential to offer a line item veto form of any bill back to the senate. Unlike a standard line item veto, the bil must go back to the senate, allowing for a checks and balances of sorts. This is exactly the kind of action against senate omnipotence that I pushed for under the brief time of the ILAC. Lets have a government of three branches; lets vote Aye to the line item veto amendment!

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Newswire

Wixted Falls to Late Rush of Trondheim Voters in First Nationwide Senate Race

With a last vote by Boris at 11:21 Sunday night, Lewis took the lead in the first all-Atlasian senate election. Colin had held a three vote margin until 10:34, when the first of three last Trondheim votes crowned Lewis victor in what will certainly by seen as a surprising upset, as Colin led at one point by 10 votes. A giggle by Governor bgwah in the Examiner's thread sparks rumours that the late GOTV was fully run and funded by Lewis' new party of choice, the JCP.

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Blast from the Past!

I like to pull it out of nowhere every once in a while just for the hell of it. Plus, No other news writer was up when the election was done. Dont expect it to last.