Out to Pasture (2020 Election Game) Gameplay Thread

[GoTfan]

Jon Stewart 2020: Stoned Slackers Unite!

[credit: US Army]

"You know, when I left The Daily Show, I intended to keep a low profile. Maybe watch some movies. Go to the park. Not have to yell at people who wanted an autograph, that sort of thing.

Then not that long ago I was confronted by a cause that hit close to home: the 9/11 first responders. Congress refused to renew the bill that would give these brave men and women the healthcare they needed. These people died because of the services they rendered on September 11, 2001, and then Congress refused to renew the bill and make it permanent until we made our voices heard.

This made me realise that there is a hell of a lot of work to do. So, with this in mind, I, after short and careless thought, with no sense of what I'm supposed to do and mainly because I have nothing else to occupy my time, declare that I will be seeking the Democratic nomination for President of the United States!

Credit: Wikimedia Commons

"Jon fostered an incredible atmosphere at The Daily Show. Everyone felt welcome, and everyone was always able to achieve their best. I truly believe he's the guy who can lead us to re-becoming the greatness we never were."

[credit: Wikimedia Commons]

"Jon used to be my boss and as Stephen said, he created an environment where everyone was capable of succeeding. More than that, he knows what he's on about. Whether it's verbally smacking down some Senator who's making compairsons to Nazis or telling the truth, Jon Stewart is the right man to lead this adopted nation of mine.

[GoTfan]

John Stewart debate answers

[/u][/b]

opening statement: Well first things first, it is truly amazing that I find myself up here with senators, governors, and billionaires. Not that terrible for a second-rate comedian.

In this campaign, I fully intend to give it my best shot. THis country is not in good shape; middle class is disappearing, wages are stagnant, jobs are disappearing, Wall Street is getting trillions and we have an administration determined to make sure this continues. We've already seen the results of this before . . . something called feudalism? I don't know, I might be remembering my high school history classes wrongly.

I'm the one of the outsiders on this stage, I don't think many people would deny that. I did a show that was *literally* fake news, but something happened. I noticed that people were getting left behind. The 9/11 first responders were just the tip of the iceberg. Weneed to get the nation back on track.

Question response:  . . . Okay two things. First off, it was a silly name Bill O'Reilly came up with for people who watched when I hosted The Daily Show. Those fans then took up the name for themselves. I find it ironic that the stoned slackers, when having their knowledge of new tested, actually scored higher than people who watched Bill's show, but anyway.

Second, i am absolutely taking this seriously, but you need to be a bit lively! I mean come on, I think the Republicans have the 'boring old white guys in suits' thing down already. Well, I say that, and then I have to realise I'm a boring old white guy in a suit.

 If you don't think I'm taking this seriously, then maybe I should talk about a few things that this campaign is about. Bumping up the minimum wage to $15 an hour, a National Retraining Scheme for coal miners who are being left high and dry by their employers. Money being invested into upgrading and modernising critical infrastructure, and building green energy plants and a national high-speed railroad network. Medicare for All. Hiking taxes on the wealthy so they start paying their share and to regulate Wall Street bankers effectively.

I am absolutely taking this seriously, but I don't want to be just another talking head. I want to stand out.

Closing statement: Again, I just want to express my amazement that I'm even being given the time of day here. I never expected to even be running for President, let alone on a debate stage, so I want to thank everyone else sharing the stage with me up here tonight, the moderators and of course the great city of Detroit, Michigan!

We badly need to revitalise this country. We have an economy geared towards the welathiest citziens, and they're laughing all the way to the bank with everything this administration has been done. I completely agree with Stacey, Mike Pence must be made one of the shortest-serving Presidents in American history!

[GoTfan]

Jon Stewart announces withdrawal

"at this stage, I see no path to the no ination, and am thus suspending my campaign for President.

But who should be President? It's a question I've grappled with for some time. As you know, my issue has been the need for a federal Independent Commission Against Corruption. Someone to act as the be-all end-all watchdog for our politicians.

There is but one candidate who has joined my calls for one. Her progressive bone fides are beyond question, she supports a federal ICAC and a heightened minimum wage. She's also a fellow New Yorker, so you know she takes her pizza seriously.

I'm proud to endorse Senator Kirsten Gillibrand for President of the United States."