Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[Joe Biden 2020]

Does Quicken Loans exist in OK? I know people who've gotten careers there without a college degree and in a field they've never studied.

I could definitely look.

[Joe Biden 2020]

In my job searches, I will definitely be looking for places you suggest.  Now, don't be surprised or upset if I take a customer service job in the mean time just to get some money coming in, but be assured I will keep seeking a better job that will better suit my skill set.

[Joe Biden 2020]

A trip to a day spa, J-Mann? Paid for by whom?

That was my question, too.  I appreciate the thought, but I don't have the money to spend on a day spa and do it right.

[Joe Biden 2020]

so why was bushie's invitation to uncle bushie's revoked??

It was never there in the first place.  My Aunt and Uncle have things specifically lined up for Mom and Dad.  I was working at the time they booked this trip, so that's why I wasn't included.

However, Mom, Dad, and I are going to Albuquerque, NM again next weekend (October 17-19) because Mom can tell without me telling her I need to get out.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Here is what I just shared with J-Mann about why I keep going back to customer service.  Any friendly advice would be helpful.

I have had a little success in the call centers, especially technical support call centers.  I was at Dell for an entire year with no problem and was only let go because I couldn't pass the Security+ Certification.  I was also at ONG for 2 years with no problem and that was customer service all the way, though not all call center.  I don't really want call centers, and I want CAD jobs, but those are hard to come by and I need a job.  So, I feel I have to open myself up to jobs that are less than pleasant.  I don't want to stay on my parent's financial ledger, and a lot of times I choose desperation over preferred.  I know there are other jobs out there, but I don't know what to look for.

Wait, wait wait.. lets pump the breaks here real quick. In past seasons, you told us they were getting ready to let you go at ONG. So how does that translate to being there with "no problems"?

Bushie likes to change the narrative to whatever is going to work best/sound nicest for the situation. 

Are we lambasting him for throwing away a steady job to chase a scam?  It's okay, guys.  I was on my last legs at ONG, anyway, and Dad said yadda yadda yadda

Now we are confronting him about looking into customer service AGAIN after he swore it off not one week ago?  It's okay, guys.  I was a model customer service representative at ONG for TWO years, and all I have to do is believe in yadda yadda God blah blah Dad. 

It's classic Update material. 

(I'm sorry for being more caustic than normal with you, Jeff, but you really need a reality check right now.  Take a spa day and have some herbal tea and reflect.  I'm serious.)

There's also the fact he was only at Dell for 2 months

I was at Dell an entire year (June 2011-May 2012).

[Joe Biden 2020]

so why was bushie's invitation to uncle bushie's revoked??

I have a theory that Bushie's Tourette's makes him irritating in social situations and at work.  I don't think he thinks he is, but maybe we can ask that guy who got Braum's with him?  I'm not saying that he has any control over this, but rather just a result of his condition.

Also, like I said before, he's 33.  This is his PARENTS' vacation.  It's absurd for a 33 year old man with his own apartment to be tagging along on his parent's getaway.  Does Bushie have any church friends these days?  It seems like he "hangs out" exclusively with his family. 

I'm actually quite pleasant to be around even with Tourette's.  I'm not loud and boisterous and I function like a normal adult with just some minor tics and stuttering thrown in.

I am 32, not 33.  I love hanging out with my family.  We have become good friends over the years.  I do have church friends also that I enjoy spending time with.

[Joe Biden 2020]

However, Mom, Dad, and I are going to Albuquerque, NM again next weekend (October 17-19) because Mom can tell without me telling her I need to get out.

Nice! Will Papa Bushie be picking up any trains?

We can't leave without them.

[Joe Biden 2020]

No 32 year old blubbers because he is not included on the weekend getaway.  It's insane. What do you need to get away from?

It wasn't just that.  Things were just piling on.  First, I lost my uncle, then immediately lost my job, and got rejected from two good job opportunities.  I was at a breaking point and it all just came to a head last night.  I feel much better tonight than I did last night, though.  I'm not afraid to admit I am sometimes an emotional guy.  There's nothing wrong with a guy getting emotional every now and then.  In fact, it shows strength.  But, now, things are looking better.  New vacation aside, I've got two other potential opportunities on the table.  Yes, they are technical support call centers, but I will still be looking for CAD jobs in the mean time.  I will just take something now to start bringing in money again.  These jobs aren't meant to be career builders.  One of the other opportunities is back a contractor with Dell on a different account, but doing the same thing I did in 2011.  I've passed the interviews, all that's left is background check and a confirmation of a start date, which should be before the end of the year.  In the mean time, again, I will have ample opportunity to look for a CAD job.  Both of these jobs are long-term open-ended contracts, so as long as I don't make anybody mad, I should be fine.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Eraser, it was a cat scratch-like episode.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Indy,

I appreciate your concern and it is well founded.  I say I am going to look for a CAD job, so I need to do just that.  I also will start playing with my AutoCAD software as soon as I get back to my main computer.  The job is in OKC so since I will be living with my grandmother, there would be no need to visit them every weekend.  I'll see them everyday.  I'll also be able to eat healthier and learn to cook at the same time.  I will eventually find an apartment deeper in OKC closer to my job, but I'll get established in the job first, like 4-6 months minimum.

[Joe Biden 2020]

No, I don't think it's at all normal for those episodes to repeatedly happen. And now that he's acknowledged this latest one, perhaps with some guidance, he'll actually seek the attention he needs.

So, crying as a man indicates a need of professional mental attention?

[Joe Biden 2020]

Mine, as stated before, was just a result of things piling on me one after the other.  I reached my breaking point.  It's a sign of strength for a man to cry and say "I can't do it alone", not a sign that a mental health expert needs to be called in.

[Joe Biden 2020]

No, I don't think it's at all normal for those episodes to repeatedly happen. And now that he's acknowledged this latest one, perhaps with some guidance, he'll actually seek the attention he needs.

So, crying as a man indicates a need of professional mental attention?

No, but you do have wild mood swings. You're either elated and superconfident or at bottom. I've never seen you express you had just a middle of the road day where you neither felt blessed to be alive nor crappy about anything.

The best example of this is the day you had negative performance review you were down in the dumps and the next day you said the whole world had made complete 180 and your boss loved you.

I do have mild mood swings, I will admit, but I am usually a very positive person, so it's not uncommon for me to be on top of the world even in the midst of bad circumstances, but when I get down, I do get down, but it's only like a quick reality check.  I will admit sometimes my eternal optimism gets me in trouble, but I've had many people say they admire that trait in me.

[Joe Biden 2020]

No, I don't think it's at all normal for those episodes to repeatedly happen. And now that he's acknowledged this latest one, perhaps with some guidance, he'll actually seek the attention he needs.

So, crying as a man indicates a need of professional mental attention?

Is that what I said?  Come on, Jeff... if you're going to claim that you have good critical thinking skills, you have to stop twisting people's words; that doesn't show that you actually understand what we're saying.

There's nothing wrong with crying as a man; however, you have a history of having breakdowns that are much more than crying.  To break down over a cat scratching you is not typically normal, and to have these breakdowns every few months isn't normal either.  It's certainly not normal or healthy to have an episode where you go in your car and scream to the point of nearly passing out; most people don't let their emotions get to that point... it's pretty clear you have some problem not letting your emotions build up.  And it's not normal for a person to go from super-optimistic and carefree to crying and cursing in his car back to super-optimistic and carefree in the span of a few hours.

If you had one of these episodes in the workplace, it'd probably raise eyebrows from coworkers and your employer.  Why not get a handle on it?  I really don't understand your complete refusal to see a mental health professional.  Why not think of it as a checkup?  You go to the doctor to get physicals; why not just see a mental health professional to make sure everything's ok?  You can't say the time is an issue; you have all the time in the world.  And you can't say money is an issue, because my offer to pay for the visit still stands.

Whoa! Calm down, friend.  I was just trying to clarify what you said.  I wasn't jumping to conclusions.

When you understand the things that have happened in my life over the past few weeks, you'd probably break down, too.  This is completely different than crying because a cat scratched my ear (that is weird, I will admit).  Crying when things difficult things just pile on isn't abnormal or mental health necessary.  I was back to normal within 24 hours.  I was still trying to get over the 10-day old cold that has turned so with my body being worn out it was probably more susceptible to an emotional breakdown than had I not been sick.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Jeff, what would be the harm in seeing a mental health professional?

There'd be no harm, but I just don't want to see one.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Putting the psychiatric talk aside for a little bit.  I am preparing for a weekend by myself at my parents' this weekend.  Mom is busy packing for their trip this weekend.  They leave tomorrow morning early and come back Monday afternoon since Monday is a holiday (Columbus Day).  I have an interview tomorrow morning at 10:30 in NW Oklahoma City.  I'll leave here at 9:30 and should be home by 12:00.  It's supposed to be a rainy day tomorrow with the remnants of Tropical Storm Simon, so I will likely stay in tomorrow evening.  I will head home to Tulsa Monday at Noon and then be back Thursday afternoon so we can head to New Mexico on Friday.  From there, it all depends on what happens with tomorrow's interview if I stay in Tulsa or come down and move in with Grandma.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Putting the psychiatric see your pastor talk aside for a little bit.  I am preparing for a weekend by myself at my parents' this weekend.  Mom is busy packing for their trip this weekend.  They leave tomorrow morning early and come back Monday afternoon since Monday is a holiday (Columbus Day).  I have an interview tomorrow morning at 10:30 in NW Oklahoma City.  I'll leave here at 9:30 and should be home by 12:00.  It's supposed to be a rainy day tomorrow with the remnants of Tropical Storm Simon, so I will likely stay in tomorrow evening.  I will head home to Tulsa Monday at Noon and then be back Thursday afternoon so we can head to New Mexico on Friday.  From there, it all depends on what happens with tomorrow's interview if I stay in Tulsa or come down and move in with Grandma.

Ftfy.  I don't do the religion, but from what I understand pastors would have experience with helping their pastees through life issues through incorporation of the faith.  It's reasonable piece of advice, Jeff.

As soon as I get my employment settled, I'll see the pastor of the church I attend.  I know he will give me Biblical advice and at no charge.

[Joe Biden 2020]

As soon as I get my employment settled,

Why wait?

Since I'm looking in two different cities, I want to wait until I get my employment settled so in case my pastor wants to schedule follow-up visits.

[Joe Biden 2020]

As soon as I get my employment settled,

Why wait?

Since I'm looking in two different cities, I want to wait until I get my employment settled so in case my pastor wants to schedule follow-up visits.

Jeff, you're just making excuses now.  You know you have time to schedule this stuff.  Your job hunt hasn't stopped you from taking naps and watching dozens of hours of TV.  You're embarrassing yourself by putting forward this argument that you're too busy.

And I'd still like to hear your answer to why you do not want to see a psychiatrist or professional therapist.  It can't simply just be "Because I don't need to."  There must be something more.  You go to the dentist periodically, even when you don't have cavities; you get your bloodwork checked frequently, even though you don't have diabetes.  So why is this different?  I don't understand your strong insistence against just going and talking with someone who's trained in this stuff.

I'll be completely honest with my pastor.  I am honest on Facebook, and that's what I'll tell him and more.

Where are you reading that I'm too busy?  I am not in any way using that excuse.  I'm just saying that in case he wants to follow up with me and is in a different city, I don't have to travel 100 miles each way to see him once a week or whatever it is.

Plus, I DO NOT NEED TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST.  I am not mentally ill like you seem to suggest.  I do take that offensively, because it is offensive to me.  The pastor is as good as you're going to get. So, just, SHUT UP!!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

Just drop it.  It's going nowhere.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I've got one interview in Oklahoma City tomorrow. If I don't get that job, I am going to focus my search efforts exclusively in Tulsa. I'm already set up and established up there, and it would be so much easier to stay up there. Plus, there seem to be a few more job opportunities up there than there are in Oklahoma City. I'll go back up there on Monday for three days and then I'll be up there to stay starting Monday, October 20 except for Halloween weekend when I'll be back down here for one more weekend. That will be my last trip home until Thanksgiving.

[Joe Biden 2020]

As I've stated numerous times, I don't at all understand what sort of magic you people seem to think a psychiatrist would do with Bushie. As it happens, I see one every three months. They're not miracle workers, and, for the most part, they're not talk therapists either. Like most doctors, they see patients for 5-10 minutes unless there is an extreme and urgent emergency. Mostly, they dabble in pharmaceuticals, making best guesses with brain chemistry. As the brain is still largely a mystery and everybody's brain is different, drug therapy involves a lot of trial and error, attempting to find drugs and dosages that best suit people's needs.

This is my main qualm about seeing one.  I don't think I need one, but they are mostly a revolving door of medicine.  If there's one thing my body doesn't need it's more medication.  I currently already take 7 pills in the morning including my multivitamin, 1 pill in the early evening, and 3 pills at bed time, plus my "as-needed" meds like my migraine pill and OTC's.  In about 3 weeks, I will be losing one pill in the morning and at bed time, but still I'm already being pumped full of drugs as it is.  My liver doesn't need any more meds.  If I see anybody, it would be a psychologist, not a psychiatrist.  I went to a psychologist in the 5th-7th grades when I was going through a very rough time in school and with my Tourette's.  It really helped.  If I could find a job that provided good benefits, I would see if I can see a psychologist.  I just don't trust psychiatrists.

[Joe Biden 2020]

What? 5-10 minutes? I've never talked to a psychiatrist who talked to me for less than 30 minutes, sometimes an hour.

For me, psychologist. 1 hour every 2 weeks. The woman was a miracle worker.

My psychologist sessions, I think was 1 hour a week or every other week.  It's been 20+ years, so I don't really remember.  I still miss her and wonder what she's up to.

[Joe Biden 2020]

As I've stated numerous times, I don't at all understand what sort of magic you people seem to think a psychiatrist would do with Bushie. As it happens, I see one every three months. They're not miracle workers, and, for the most part, they're not talk therapists either. Like most doctors, they see patients for 5-10 minutes unless there is an extreme and urgent emergency. Mostly, they dabble in pharmaceuticals, making best guesses with brain chemistry. As the brain is still largely a mystery and everybody's brain is different, drug therapy involves a lot of trial and error, attempting to find drugs and dosages that best suit people's needs.

This is my main qualm about seeing one.  I don't think I need one, but they are mostly a revolving door of medicine.  If there's one thing my body doesn't need it's more medication.  I currently already take 7 pills in the morning including my multivitamin, 1 pill in the early evening, and 3 pills at bed time, plus my "as-needed" meds like my migraine pill and OTC's.  In about 3 weeks, I will be losing one pill in the morning and at bed time, but still I'm already being pumped full of drugs as it is.  My liver doesn't need any more meds.  If I see anybody, it would be a psychologist, not a psychiatrist.  I went to a psychologist in the 5th-7th grades when I was going through a very rough time in school and with my Tourette's.  It really helped.  If I could find a job that provided good benefits, I would see if I can see a psychologist.  I just don't trust psychiatrists.

It comes off as kind-off fluffy BS sometimes, but what about a life coach? You may or may not benefit from medication, but I think you could definitely benefit from doing some real planning with someone and having them hold you regularly accountable. This seems to be your big missing link.

Read the post I had on the last page comparing your issues to those of an alcoholic. You may not need a psychiatrist, but darn it if you couldn't benefit from "professional help" of some sort that is committed to true planning and accountability with you.

When I get the proper benefits from an employer, I'll see about seeing a psychologist.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Jeff, why don't you utilize the native health care?  Talking to someone may even lead you down good path of getting stable employment.

I've thought about that.  I may call down there later in the month when I start settling back down in my activities and see what they recommend and if they have any services available.  The only problem is the tribal health care complex is roughly 100 miles from my apartment in Tulsa, so it would be a bit of a drive unless I could utilize someone from a tribe that's closer to where I live, like the Cherokee or Creek tribes.