Update XVI: Sidejackin' it in the Train Room.

[Joe Republic]

I think Jeff might be a supertaster. It's common for people who have a heightened sense of taste to find ordinary bitter foods to be unpleasant. I saw on television once a guy who had eaten only French fries for decades because all other food made him nauseous... They diagnosed him as a supertaster.

Great, another 'disability' he can add to the collection!

[Joe Republic]

Don't worry guys he'll be replacing those microwaved pizza rolls with grilled pizza rolls soon enough. That's what healthy eating is, right?

Correction: He plans to maybe start thinking about potentially doing that at 1730 on May 14th, 2015, or possibly 2016 if that is what God has planned for him.

[Joe Republic]

Bushie, I think I've found your perfect match!

[Joe Republic]

Won't people in Oklahoma think bushie is...you know...if he doesn't get married?

A pedophile?  Well yes, but we've already told him about that mustache.

[Joe Republic]

Ugh, that's actually quite a depressing image.  You think Bushie getting online bullied by us political nerds is bad?  One can only imagine what real life bullying by real life football jocks would have been like.

[Joe Republic]

Why are we wasting all this time talking about Bushie partaking in any kind of sport?  He can't even walk or stand for longer than a few minutes, by his own admission.

[Joe Republic]

The sad part is how ordinary his takes on football are for someone who watches as much of it as he apparently does.

Just like his political analysis, you mean?

[Joe Republic]

So eating only junk food all day and no mention of any water at all results in a Grade 8 headache?  Shocking revelations!

[Joe Republic]

I'm doing what I need to so there's no need to continue to hammer me about it.

Yes there is, because "doing what you need to" in your case is consistently the worst thing anybody could ever do.

[Joe Republic]

Bushie, have you accepted that at some point you're just going to have to start horking down foods you don't like very much whether you want to or not if you want to stand even a remote chance of getting healthy again?

... or surviving to 40?

[Joe Republic]

Do they not have Chipotle in Oklahoma? Surely there's quick and cheap food that isn't hamburgers there?

Ethnic food that doesn't have some kind of horribly offensive stereotype as its mascot?  Not in Oklahoma!

[Joe Republic]

Curious:- how many other people work alongside you, doing approximately the same job?  And roughly how many employees does this place have in total?

[Joe Republic]

Does your dad still work at NG?

[Joe Republic]

So the 30 day challenge lasted exactly 4 days?

[Joe Republic]

The Onion continues to chronicle Bushie's life using proxy characters: http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-simultaneously-excited-for-dreading-nfl-taking,36859/

[Joe Republic]

As a manager, when we take on somebody new, we usually figure out fairly quickly if we've made a terrible mistake in hiring them.  If so, that's when we start to 'performance manage' them out the door by the end of their 90 day induction.  We do 30 day reviews, then 60 days, then finally 90 days.  If we want to get rid of them, then we give them a less-than-appealing review at the 30 day mark.  Chances are things won't have improved dramatically by 60 days, and if by 90 days we're still wanting to get rid of them, then that's the time we do it.

[Joe Republic]

^ ...what?

[Joe Republic]

Can we add 'Hereditary Clock Watcher' and 'Go All In On The Focus Part Of It' to the Update Quote Bank?