The Comedy Goldmine

[Joe Republic]

I would too if I lived in a huge city with great internet service, but as it is that post would probably take about ten minutes for me to load.

[Joe Republic]

I love how you fantasize about those big dark moments!

[Joe Republic]

Last night I had a dream I was driving Chris Christie around to different fast food restaurants and he told me he was going to start his presidential run by nationalizing his re-election campaign.

HILARIOUS

[Joe Republic]

Bacon King is the best person.

[Joe Republic]

Barfbag makes some interesting points that should be considered as well.

[Joe Republic]

Well at least the left wing can circle jerk. I have the feeling all the right wing could muster is a 'Christian Side Hug'

[Joe Republic]

I think someone here is framing me by making socks and typing similar to me.  Defintly a liberal. Proabably because of my views.

[Joe Republic]

First they came for the Hamilton socks, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Hamilton sock.

Then they came for The Jmfcst, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a religious.

Then they came for The Update, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a fan of Bushie.

Then they came for me.
and everybody complained and changed their avatar for a few days in solidarity.

[Joe Republic]

If you like your nuclear program, you can keep it

[Joe Republic]

Bolding is mine:

I don't think it's wise for a Christian to date outside the faith. There are at least two references (Ephesians and Corinthians) where many evangelicals(I included) apply those verses with regards to dating. Personally I don't think dating as we know it properly prepares one for marriage.

This coming from a guy who got a no from a Baptist preachers daughter and sister because of my speaking in tounges.

[Joe Republic]

Complaining about the War on Christmas gets earlier every year.

[Joe Republic]

And you base this information on.....what, exactly?  And don't give me Naso-like anecdotes.

Everyone I know says they're against it.

[Joe Republic]

That's not my idea of exciting, but what do I know?

[Joe Republic]

That one was more comedy silver or bronze.  Still valuable, but not gold.

It was low hanging fruit.  I was surprised that one of the resident stupids or newbies didn't get there first.

[Joe Republic]

I'm not in favour of slavery but my girlfriend* is



(* - This is Atlas so this is a purely hypothetical person. But she would be)

[Joe Republic]

If she would open every Fed meeting by throwing open a pair of double doors and shouting, "WHAT'S ALL THE YELLEN ABOUT?" I would be so happy.

[Joe Republic]

I bet that you're the one who replaced Phil's signature with a picture of a circuitboard and sent a prostitute to my apartment last night, too. When will it end?

[Joe Republic]

Considering the source:

Motion to table this frivolous bill.

We can post Atlasia stuff here?

Preferably not.  The audience for the in-jokes is a little too selective.

[Joe Republic]

Sarah Palin may be the most white trash Republican woman of all time, but Tonette Walker has the most white trash name of a Republican woman of all time. I don't know whether she's First Lady of Wisconsin or the plaintiff in Docket 30824 of the Panama City, Florida Municipal Small Claims Court.

[Joe Republic]

Isn't the guy who runs St. Pete basically a corrupt grifter?

No, you're thinking of the guy who runs Florida.

[Joe Republic]

Don't underestimate my abilities.

[Joe Republic]

"Show me on the doll where Benghazi touched you"

*somberly points to heart and sheds a single tear for America's freedom*

[Joe Republic]

To be honest, the Green Party is more suiting to his (Sander's) views.

Too bad he can't get elected that way.

I would be so sure. This link says quite the opposite.

[Joe Republic]

BREAKING: Earthquake reported near Our Dear Friend. Now we know what happens when BushOK walks.

Temps will be near 60 with bright blue sunshine.

Now maybe I'm just a spoiled urbanite but I have no idea how that one works.

This explains Bushie's peculiar lifestyle: He's literally living on another planet.

We're shaking around here.  2 earthquakes in 2 hours.  3 earthquakes in 5 hours.  4 in 24 hours.  The last one shook my entire house and felt like someone crashed into my house.  The last two were centered just a mile from my house!

A clear sign that your planet is doomed, Bushie.  Just as Krypton, a planet with a red sun, was destroyed due to the arrogance of its inhabitants, so will your blue sunned world be destroyed.  Just as Jor-El saved his only son by evacuating him from Krypton, your only recourse at this time is to launch Blondie into space, so that at least one inhabitant of your world will have life somewhere else.

Perhaps on Earth, Blondie will have superpowers.

sounds like a bushie excuse.

today is sunday so im guessing the excuse will be granny had her 4th cousin over and it would be rude not to spend 10 hours with them.

[Joe Republic]

I'm sure Kim Jong Un will take heed of the opinion of a useless spammer on the internets and start holding free elections now.

Kim Jong Un, pictured below, filled with shame upon his examination of a scathing editorial featured in the New York Express