Eh, I am not sure they are that related - as you implied, it is possible to be disgusted by something but still understand that they are acceptable and natural for other people. You can be disgusted by the thought of gay sex, but still understand that it is perfectly acceptable for people to have, and in that respect it doesn't influence your behaviour or interactions with gay people.
On the other hand, refusing to have sex with a trans person does actually involve how you behave towards and interact with trans people; and in that respect, it has a more direct effect on them.
Not commenting on whether it is legitimate to refuse to have sex with a trans person or not (I don't even know if I would have sex with a transwoman), but I don't think it can be claimed that it isn't at least mildly transphobic - because you are modifying your behaviour towards someone because of who they are, in a way that does hurt them.
I'm talking about the attraction (or lack thereof) itself being akin to the "disgust with something that you morally approve of". If you are not sexually attracted to a trans person who you would be if they were not trans, does that in itself mean that you're transphobic? The attraction, on its own, isn't about behavior.
And then, if you buy that there isn't a problem with not being attracted to someone because they are trans, I guess the next step is to ask where that leaves you re: deciding whether or not to have sex with them, or for that matter, pursuing a long term relationship with them, if they were the sort of person who you might be interested in if they were not trans? Do you pretend to be attracted to them, because not doing so would be transphobic?
And what is the dividing line on when this is bigotry or not? If you're attracted more to people of certain races than others, is that racist? Or is being trans different, because you might not be able to tell on the basis of physical appearance?
I think that the last line is more or less the jist of it. Being trans it not a physical characteristic like skin colour; so the question of not being attracted to someone because they are trans would only arise on finding that fact out. If you are attracted to someone, and then cease to be because they are transgender, but otherwise physically a woman, that seems qualitatively different to not being attracted to someone because you don't find them physically attractive.
In that respect, refusing to be intimate with someone for being trans seems more aking to refusing to have sex with someone becuase they suffer from a mental illness, or because they are jewish. And is refusing to have sex with someone because they are depressed a problem? I can't even beging to know what the answer to that is.
And even then, I feel that people who say that they are not attracted to certain physical characteristics doesn't mean that they can't be. A person can have a preference for blue eyes say, but that doesn't mean they will never find someone with brown eyes attractive.
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