Does Einzige remind you of jmfcst? (user search)
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  Does Einzige remind you of jmfcst? (search mode)
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Question: Does Einzige remind you of jmfcst?
#1
Yes
 
#2
No
 
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Partisan results

Total Voters: 21

Author Topic: Does Einzige remind you of jmfcst?  (Read 3962 times)
Lunar
Atlas Superstar
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Posts: 30,404
Ireland, Republic of
« on: April 09, 2009, 01:13:58 AM »

Well first I'd start a party called something like the Revolutionary People's Party. Then the Party would take control of all media and establish a political machine that we'd use to control like 80% of seats in Parliament. I'd probably become PM and then appoint a figurehead President so I could take a break and do whatever I wanted (like host SNL) while I'd have someone else take over as PM. Probably let the opposition get something like 20% of seats in Parliament. Similiar to Egypt. Then I'd set up a network of secret police similar to described in "California Uber Alles", sort of a hipster/scene police. I'd even have special units with no purpose other than to enforce the ban on psuedo-emo fashion, shaving kids' heads, destroying their stupid Hot Topic clothes, etc., and probably the ban on metal music as well. My Chemical Romance and all similar bands would be forced into exile. Ralph Nader would possibly be "disappeared", though I'd rather just arrest and imprison him or also throw him into exile due to the abolishment of the death penalty.

Then I'd probably establish an ultra-liberal State Church so we could crack down on other churches, heavy crackdown on the Catholic Church, Southern Baptists, any fundies, etc. Scientology would be flat out outlawed. I'd legalize gay marriage everywhere but outlaw marriages that violate the half + 7 rule, the exception being heterosexual marriages where the female is older (This would be termed the "Cougar Clause".)

Then the national anthem would be changed to some indie/emo song, and I'd start personality cults around various "scene" heroes, we'd have a national holiday honoring Guy Picciotto for example. Probably Obama too, he'd sort of be held as a state hero like Simon Bolivar is in several South American countries. No doubt both Obama and Picciotto would end up on money. I'd use the powers of eminement domain to build lots and lots of strip clubs. I might even just for kicks have a building with two distinct parts: a strip club and a church of the state religion. This would also be the basis of my patronage system, people would be rewarded for loyalty and service to the regime by being granted ownership of strip clubs. And any attractive female illegal immigrants would have to work two years in one to earn citizenship. Obviously there would also be hordes of indie venues as well. State radio would blare scene music alongside the propaganda all day. It'd be like Enclave Radio on Fallout 3 except with scene music replacing the patriotic songs. Well actually, under this regime the scene music WOULD be the patriotic songs!

All private schools and colleges would be either shut down or nationalized. The only religious schools allowed would be those of the state religion (I guess current liberal Protestant schools could be converted into those) while Catholic and fundie schools are shut down. Secular private schools would be nationalized unless they were deemed too conservative in which case they would be shut down. Private education and homeschooling would be illegal.

Combating suburbia would be a top priority. High taxes would be imposed on suburbs making them effectively unlivable for anyone but the super-rich, who would end up being robbed of their assets. So suburbs would be converted into virtual ghettos, but then renovated to more urban architecure. Freddie Mae and Fannie Mac would be abolished, as would private homeownership for anyone but loyal supporters of the regime. Of course rent would be so heavily subsidized it'd be quite cheap, my current apartment is $550/month, this would be dropped to lower than $300. Of course tons of strip clubs would pop up in the former suburbs. Tons of middle-class families would see themselves forced from owning a McMansion in suburbia to living in an apartment in a dense urban neighborhood quite soon. Our cities would begin to resemble more Europe's. Exurbs and outer suburbs probably would be converted to large farming conglomerates, all nationalized.

Oh and the economic policy would be like Norway or something.
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Lunar
Atlas Superstar
*****
Posts: 30,404
Ireland, Republic of
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2009, 01:22:57 AM »

I almost posted it there myself despite not reading it, but I got beat to it
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Lunar
Atlas Superstar
*****
Posts: 30,404
Ireland, Republic of
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2009, 01:23:53 AM »

Only in the sense that they're both insane.  But I'd rather have jmfcst as President than Einzige.

What a horrible election!

"Whichever wins...you lose."

It's kind of like choosing between being shot in the head, or being shot in the heart.

which is which?

I suggest the latter
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Lunar
Atlas Superstar
*****
Posts: 30,404
Ireland, Republic of
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2009, 11:46:08 AM »



True. That was more of a general statement. However, you are overwhelmingly defined by your biblical literalist views

and predicting the Palin VP selection before any of us saw that truck remotely on the highway
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