Update XVIII: 15 Miles From Lunch

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, here is an amazing invention that will help you walk even somewhere where there are no streetlights:



In any case, you're still at your parents' place for now, and won't move in with Grandma for another week, no?  Why don't you take the dogs for a walk while you're still staying with your parents?

[Mr. Morden]

FWIW, 2 sandwiches is bare minimum, but 3 sandwiches is too much even for me.

2 is "bare minimum", while 3 is too much?  Doesn't that mean that 2 is both bare minimum and absolute maximum?

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, you can just walk in a circle around your house with Blondie for 20 minutes. It'd be repetitive in terms of sight seeing but it'd be walking for 20 minutes.

I think that's what he said he did a few times last year, the last time he was living with his parents.  He claims that both he and his parents have taken Blondie for walks before, so they must have walked somewhere.

[Mr. Morden]

From September 2013:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=178705.msg3856474#msg3856474

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So yes, there is somewhere around Bushie's parents' place where it's appropriate to walk dogs, and they've done this before.

Also from Sept. 2013:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=178705.msg3858202#msg3858202

Inks:

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Bushie:

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So there, you don't even need to go outside.  Just walk in place for a while if there's nowhere to go outside.

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, when was the last time you drank a full glass of water, straight up, with nothing added?

[Mr. Morden]

Well for whatever it's worth I'm now drinking a bottle of water.

Either God or Bushie's Native American / Kenyan spirit guide will now transfer some of your good health his way, so that he can go to work tomorrow.

[Mr. Morden]

I know it is only 2030, but 9 hours sleep is looking mighty delicious right now.

Good luck on your delicious sleep.

[Mr. Morden]

I made it to work on this Friday.  I'm ready to close out Week 2.  I still only have a small headache.  It's nothing like the behemoth I had the past two mornings.  I haven't seen my boss, yet this morning, but I will thank him for letting me take off to get over this headache.  That's the least I can do.  Well, that and do my work as I know how and focus from 0800 to 1700 today.  Tonight is the last family dinner until Thanksgiving Day.  The third and final set of company leaves tomorrow morning.

So you move in with Grandma on Saturday?

[Mr. Morden]

I will come back to my parents' for supper and then will go to a birthday party for a handsome 13-year-old.  It will be one of the last times I get to see him as he and his family are about to spend two years in Cameroon, Africa on a . 

Handsome 13 year olds in Cameroon live on periods?  I hope there's political stability there, as I wouldn't want any question mark warlords to engage in punctuation cleansing.

[Mr. Morden]

I will come back to my parents' for supper and then will go to a birthday party for a handsome 13-year-old.  It will be one of the last times I get to see him as he and his family are about to spend two years in Cameroon, Africa on a . 

Handsome 13 year olds in Cameroon live on periods?  I hope there's political stability there, as I wouldn't want any question mark warlords to engage in punctuation cleansing.

OK, in seriousness, can you explain what he and his family are doing in Cameroon?  You wrote "he and his family are about to spend two years in Cameroon, Africa on a ."  What's a "."?

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, please don't love on a 13-year-old boy.

It's too late. I fear the poor 13-year-old boy is being loved by the whole clan as we speak.

i feel bad for this boy.  he is being dragged off to some backwater (even worse than oklahoma) to spread the white man's religion to a people who arent interested.

I feel bad for him because in all likelihood this birthday party isn't going to involve normal 13 year old pursuits like paintball or laser tag but will rather be a bunch of middle-aged people shoveling fried salty foods down their gullets and then playing Skip-Bo.

The only thing that can salvage this party is a good old-fashioned game of Update-opoly.

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, please don't love on a 13-year-old boy.

It's too late. I fear the poor 13-year-old boy is being loved by the whole clan as we speak.

i feel bad for this boy.  he is being dragged off to some backwater (even worse than oklahoma) to spread the white man's religion to a people who arent interested.

I feel bad for him because in all likelihood this birthday party isn't going to involve normal 13 year old pursuits like paintball or laser tag but will rather be a bunch of middle-aged people shoveling fried salty foods down their gullets and then playing Skip-Bo.

The only thing that can salvage this party is a good old-fashioned game of Update-opoly.

Strip Update-opoly, for the loving on.

Strip Update-opoly: Everyone plays with their parents' clothes, and then is sent home with a headache after two turns.

[Mr. Morden]

For what it's worth, my mother, when she learned of her niece and nephew and her family were going to spend a year or two in Africa, straightly warned me "Do not follow them to Africa, speaking of my continued desire to move to Kenya, at least not for a while."

Your mother wants to move to Kenya too???

[Mr. Morden]

For what it's worth, my mother, when she learned of her niece and nephew and her family were going to spend a year or two in Africa, straightly warned me "Do not follow them to Africa, speaking of my continued desire to move to Kenya, at least not for a while."

Your mother wants to move to Kenya too???

No, but I still want to sometime. She is just saying "Not yet."

Right, but your direct quote of what your mother said was "my continued desire to move to Kenya", rather than "your continued desire to move to Kenya", so I was tweaking you on that.

[Mr. Morden]

Snow!  I guess a hotel stay is in the cards for Bushie tomorrow.

[Mr. Morden]

This includes not talking about it much and not talking at all about the sensitive information that I'm exposed to.

You're doomed.

I mean….someone who gave up his Social Security number to a stranger on the internet is being trusted with national security secrets?

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie can be Accidental Edward Snowden.

That didn't take long:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=200654.msg4383695#msg4383695

[Mr. Morden]

She just fried up some hamburger patties.  I had Braum's at lunch, but came home and she was about finished with the hamburger patties.

Did you clean up afterwards?  If your 114 year old grandma is providing you with a home and making dinner for you every night, you should at least do the dishes.

[Mr. Morden]

Where are you guys getting these ages from?  Thin air?

You're dodging the question.  If she's giving you a home and making dinner for you, are you at least doing the dishes afterwards?

[Mr. Morden]

Where are you guys getting these ages from?  Thin air?

You're dodging the question.  If she's giving you a home and making dinner for you, are you at least doing the dishes afterwards?

Yes

OK, good. 

[Mr. Morden]

The age escalation for His Dear Grandmother reminds me of Santorum's 33 point loss in 2006.

I was thinking more of when McCain lost all 57 states in the 2008 general election.

[Mr. Morden]

Women, of course, are significantly more likely to be religious than men...

Let's have a terrific Atlas conversation as to why that may be.

Does the trauma caused by catcalling drive women into religious observance?  Discuss. 

[Mr. Morden]

In fact, Jesus commands us in the Gospels that we cannot enter the kingdom of God except with the heart and mind of a little child.  The reason is children are generally more trusting and less tainted by the world than adults.

So being fooled by scams puts you on the fast track to heaven?  You're well on your way then. 

[Mr. Morden]

Watching Rudolph is part of your faith?

It's not a main course, but it's a pleasant side dish.

Unless you think Rudolph is real, I don't see how it's part of your faith at all.

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, how do you know this thread and the advice/"ridicule" you receive are not part of God's plan for you and a message he is giving to you?

Because our advice is not bathed in prayer.