Update Season VII: "The OK Corral"

[Mr. Morden]

Also, prediction time: Who will have a higher BMI in January 2016?  Bushie or Chris Christie?

[Mr. Morden]

He doesn't know what he wants. It changes every day.

Sometimes they even change several times during the same day.

I think it changes in the same sentence, which is why much of what he says is incoherent.

[Mr. Morden]

When you're 5'8, 285 lbs. is 300 lbs.

Is this some weird relativistic effect that I'm unaware of?  Or just your way of calling Bushie short?

[Mr. Morden]

If I go to Kenya (and, I'm saying if right now since it is a long way out), on my next trip I will try to spend all summer there in 2015 or 2016 and then move down there by 2018 or 2019 when they'll be ready for me.  That will give me a good 4-5 years to work in Fort Worth minus a summer trip after I have been there for at least a year.  To go for the summer, I will have to raise $5,000.  Again, I will raise that all myself without asking for any help from my parents.  When I get off their dole, I will get off their dole, completely.  I will also work on my weight in the mean time.

What kind of job allows you to blow off an entire summer for an overseas trip?  Won't you inevitably have to quit your job to make that summer-long trip to Kenya, then find another job when you come back?

[Mr. Morden]

Lots of jobs might be willing to rehire. Mine has before for people who've quit for various reasons (going back to school, moving somewhere else, etc.) One of my fellow training associates I've been working with on our last class is someone who quit about a year ago, then she returned and was rehired only in the past month, yet they let her keep all her seniority and promoted her to training associate fairly quickly. She was just that good when she was here previously.

Now of course this is for people who are very reliable and good employees, which we know Bushie is not. So that's not going to work in his instance. Like many of his plans, this is another classic Bushie where it might work for some people, but clearly not for him. It's obvious Bushie wasn't even a solid employee at Oklahoma Natural Gas, otherwise they would've probably tried to find some way to get him back in.

That's why I'm not going to go until I've been there at least a year, maybe two.

And if you try to leave the job for the whole summer, after being there for a year or two, there's a good chance they'll say "You can't take the entire summer off and keep this job.  You can quit the job, and then see if we have an opening again in three months, but there's absolutely no guarantee we'll have a spot for you then."

[Mr. Morden]

Lots of jobs might be willing to rehire. Mine has before for people who've quit for various reasons (going back to school, moving somewhere else, etc.) One of my fellow training associates I've been working with on our last class is someone who quit about a year ago, then she returned and was rehired only in the past month, yet they let her keep all her seniority and promoted her to training associate fairly quickly. She was just that good when she was here previously.

Now of course this is for people who are very reliable and good employees, which we know Bushie is not. So that's not going to work in his instance. Like many of his plans, this is another classic Bushie where it might work for some people, but clearly not for him. It's obvious Bushie wasn't even a solid employee at Oklahoma Natural Gas, otherwise they would've probably tried to find some way to get him back in.

That's why I'm not going to go until I've been there at least a year, maybe two.

And if you try to leave the job for the whole summer, after being there for a year or two, there's a good chance they'll say "You can't take the entire summer off and keep this job.  You can quit the job, and then see if we have an opening again in three months, but there's absolutely no guarantee we'll have a spot for you then."

If faced with that option, I will start looking for employment in Nairobi.

So you might in fact move to Kenya for good even before they build that home for volunteers, or whatever it is you're waiting on?

[Mr. Morden]

It would be cool if the next five pages of this thread were all about lettuce vs. spinach, with no actual discussion of Bushie's "Update" nonsense.  That is my dream.

[Mr. Morden]

I've moved past that.

The classic Bushie dodge!

(He can't move himself off the couch, but he can "move past" his mistakes.)

[Mr. Morden]

Why won't you eat chickens, Bushie?  I mean, however much you may love chickens, you do realize that the feeling isn't mutual, don't you?  If a chicken had the chance, it would eat you and everyone you care about.

In any case, if you won't eat the rest of the chicken, will you at least eat the wings?  You can then tell yourself that you're not really responsible for any chicken deaths.  You're only responsible for chickens lacking flight.

[Mr. Morden]

My mother was in favor of Kenya, and still is.  Dad doesn't know anything about that, yet.

Your father still doesn't know you plan to move to Kenya?  Why not?

The earliest I would go to Kenya is 2018, maybe 2019 or 2020.

We're now out to 2018-2020?  This is like the engagement dates in reverse!  Any wagers as to how long it'll be until it's pushed out to 2025?

[Mr. Morden]

His parents have an interesting marriage. His mom has all these secrets that Bushie has told her and his dad has no idea, plus they sleep in separate bedrooms. I feel bad for papa Bushie. It's like he's only working to provide for the family but knows nothing about anyone in it.

I'm actually really confused about the whole "Pappy Bushie doesn't know that Bushie wants to move to Kenya for good" thing.  Didn't Bushie say several times over "My parents and I have a well thought out plan, and we are executing it?"  This is a plan about Bushie's education and employment for pete's sake.  Pappy is in on the development of the plan, yet doesn't know that Bushie's long term plans include a permanent move to Kenya?  Would Pappy have signed off on the Bushie education and work plan, as well as the funding of Bushie's current lifestyle if he knew that Bushie intended to do this?  Will Morden continue to refer to Bushie's father as "Pappy", and will he continue to refer to himself in the third person?  Will Morden ask any more rhetorical questions, or is this the last one?

[Mr. Morden]

What's so special about Dallas?  Why not just submit job applications to several different cities you'd be willing to move to, and then move to whichever you one you happen to get a job in?

Also...

I swam a whole, played volleyball for 30 minutes.  Got some decent exercise.

Swam a whole? 

[Mr. Morden]

Your DAD wants you to live at home with you all? He must really hate your mom! All the dads I know want their kids to get out on their own. It's the mothers that have problems letting go, like mine.

It's the other way around, here.  He knows I need to get out on my own, but he just likes having his kids close by.  He secretly wishes my brother would move closer to Oklahoma after he retires from the Navy next June.  He knows that won't happen as they'll likely settle either in upstate New York while their daughter finishes school or they'll move back to North Florida.

And you still haven't told him that you intend to move to Kenya for good in 5 years?  Would he keep funding your lifestyle or encourage you to get the CAD degree if you told him about Kenya?

[Mr. Morden]

Your DAD wants you to live at home with you all? He must really hate your mom! All the dads I know want their kids to get out on their own. It's the mothers that have problems letting go, like mine.

It's the other way around, here.  He knows I need to get out on my own, but he just likes having his kids close by.  He secretly wishes my brother would move closer to Oklahoma after he retires from the Navy next June.  He knows that won't happen as they'll likely settle either in upstate New York while their daughter finishes school or they'll move back to North Florida.

And you still haven't told him that you intend to move to Kenya for good in 5 years?  Would he keep funding your lifestyle or encourage you to get the CAD degree if you told him about Kenya?

I'm sure he knows about it from overhearing the conversations between Mom and me, and I think I may have told him a long time ago, when I first sensed the calling, but i haven't "reminded" him.

Lol, and yet you said that you and your parents sat down a few months ago to map out a plan for your future, which you said was a detailed plan that you're now implementing?  But in discussing that plan, the fact that you intended to move to Kenya in three years (now pushed back to five years) never came up once?

[Mr. Morden]

I will close out Update VII and open up Update VIII after I wake up tomorrow.

Why? Previous threads have run over 200 pages. This one is good.

Dave asked us to limit the super-long threads.  Apparently five 80 page threads is easier on the server than one 400 page thread.  ("Easier on the server" = less slowdown when trying to access Atlas)