I happily consider myself a gay Christian. My faith enriches my life and gives it purpose, but I don't consider it (either my particular brand nor having faith at all) to be a necessity to accomplish that. The rector at my Episcopal church in Maryland is a lesbian and the assistant pastor at my UCC church in Connecticut is gay, and, hot goss, the senior pastor at my CT church divorced her husband last year and later moved in with another woman.
It's interesting to me how few queer people realize that this is even an
option, and shows how awful mainline Protestant churches are at evangelizing our mission. The response I get most often on apps and the like ranges from apathy to curiosity, and most are shocked by my history of queer pastors sketched above. This is particularly true for those who were raised Catholic, who do not understand what a "denomination" is and have sometimes asked me if, say, Episcopalians are Christians. More than a few have clearly seen it as a bit of a turn on, with sort of a "despoiling the innocents" vibe.
Meeting another queer Christian in the context of the apps is like meeting a long-lost friend. Interestingly, many who consider themselves Christians were raised nondenom, so their relationship to their faith is strained... when I recommend finding a mainline church, they rebel against the idea of a denomination, but know the idea of a nondenom that's affirming is, uh, rare, to say the least. I haven't met very many like me who were raised mainline and stayed put.
I've found that most earnestly spiritual folks of any stripe (usually pagan in queer circles) are excited and happy to find someone else willing to ask big questions once I reassure them I'm not the scary kind of Christian. A handsome pagan cub I enjoy flirting with once complimented me by saying, "you're more sacrilegious than me!", which I was delighted by. You can't be an earnest gay Christian without understanding the ironies and the humor and the camp in all of it, as afleitch alluded to.
It would be great to find some guy someday I could go to church with, but I'm not holding my breath. I'd have no problem dating someone who wasn't religious, although I'll admit it's a plus. Still, my faith helped ensure I had my ex's mom's strong approval. When we'd visit his parents over weekends, I'd go to church with his parents while he stayed home and slept in. I'm delighted to have a trait that makes me popular with many moms
