Update Thread and Other Ramblings by BushOklahoma

[ilikeverin]

Now, by moving the wedding back a few months, we will be able to set a date and then put it on the back burner, and plan for it without rushing and stressing and still giving us plenty of time to get to know and enjoy each other.  We've only really agreed on about three details of the wedding, and those are the preacher and venue and a small, intimate wedding.

I know I said I'd shut up ... but why are you engaged on any level -- unofficially or otherwise -- if you don't know all there is to know about each other? Engagements and subsequent marriages aren't the most opportune times for people to learn new things about each other.

Actually, in the Middle East, usually dates don't happen until after engagement... proposing marriage (with the approval of both families, obviously) is just kind of way to say "I want to get to know you."

Of course, this is commensurate with engagement not automatically being "I want to marry you", so the situations aren't exactly directly comparable

[ilikeverin]

I have met my match on advanced planning.  Susan has officially beaten me to the punch on Christmas 2010 planning.  I normally don't get started until Father's Day in June, but she's more than a month ahead of me.  She gave me her first idea for Christmas over this past weekend and we are still 6 months until Thanksgiving.  So, I guess this is going to an advanced planning family!!  Next thing you know we'll plan our first anniversary right after our wedding.

Oh my goodness.  I think you may be soulmates.

[ilikeverin]

We have some differences in styles, but those are actually what is attracting us to each other.  The old saying and law of physics "opposites attract" is quite true in our case.

It isn't, actually.  You just happen to notice the differences more acutely than you do the similarities.  In any case, it is the similarities that bring you together, and it sounds like you and her match up in a lot of ways just fine

[ilikeverin]

BushOK... Bush OK... you need to make out before the wedding.  You really should've been making out before you got engaged, but... I respect your decision to practice abstinence, but I think you need to prove to yourself you can go that far without losing control (on top of the obvious "she's going to be your wife so you'd better really like making out with her" thing).

[ilikeverin]

Annie must be a special case, because in my experience, the nice guy never gets the girl. Girls want guys who they feel can protect them and stand up to people who do them hard. That's all I want to say in this matter because I really don't want to read that whole argument.

i am not talking about about teen girls who think that they need to rebel against the world. I am talking about women who are in their mid 20's. I am not saying a pushover either. but a guy who doesn't get into bar fights etc and actually makes choices with his gf or whatever she is.

But Duke has a point.  Even women in their 30s kinda want someone to take charge, but they tend to see different things with age.  A nice guy CAN get a girl.  The problem are NEEDY guys.  Some guys can't differentiate.  And yes, women want masculine guys regardless of age. 

i agree with 2/3rds if it. but masculine? some women want that. it depends on what you are though and how you were raised to thinking. some women like pansy's and some like the biker type. i know plenty of women who are into the pansy type.

Actually, for women, attraction depends on a lot of factors, including the menstrual cycle(!), so it's hard to say any hard-and-fast rule.  In general, though, women tend to like masculine men for hookups (and, when asked to rank "attractiveness", rank them more highly) and less-masculine men for long-term relationships.