Have you ever been spanked, beaten or otherwise abused ...

[Cassius]

My mother used to smack my bottom on the rare occasions that I was badly behaved; other than that, I've only ever been beaten up by fellow pupils at school. I remember two distinct period when I was often beaten up; at the age of 5, as I was a bit chubby, and when I switched schools because I was a precocious t*** who answered too many questions in class and was too formal. Needless to say, I learned from both experiences and changed my appearence and habits, enabling me to join in the beatings of the other outcasts. The circle of life and all that.