My (new) update thread. GUESS WHO HAS GIRL FEELINGS AGAIN

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

All women are capable of getting angry, even the sweet ones, unless they have no backbone, then you don't want them anyway.

Also, if you aren't satisfied with your current girlfriend, then break up with her regardless of whether you date this Christian girl or not. You need to keep in mind that she is a super Christian though and you are not. Can you handle that? She may not even want to date you if she is super serious about her faith. I know religious girls who say a guy's faith is the #1 thing they consider for a relationship. Again, I do realize that you both are 17, so my advice may not be any good.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You don't love your girlfriend if you hardly talk to her and are going crazy over someone else. When I dated the first girl I ever loved, and I was 21 when I first learned what love was, I never had a moment where I wanted someone else or imagined myself with someone else. It was always her and she was the only person I could see myself with. Sure, I may have LUSTED over someone else from time to time, but I couldn't imagine doing anything with anyone but her.

If she's super religious and you aren't, your values are not going to mesh and that spells trouble from the start. I know you're a weirdo sometimes and that's fine, but trust me, values matter a lot. It's why I dated that girl for 2.5 years and why the last girl I was seeing and I had a nasty falling out.

Right now, you have an infatuation with her that probably isn't realistic. Even if she likes you, you'll grow tired of her and her Jesus love and will just hope you can change her mind, which you won't because people don't change usually.

Just find the school slut and bang her, but don't do that until you dump your girlfriend.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Yeah, I get it. I'm just saying you don't love your girlfriend. Why are you hardly speaking? That's not a healthy relationship.

Anyway, yeah, values are important. Remember that before you do anything crazy because a lot of times it just isn't worth it.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

What?! You've never met your girlfriend? Then she's not your girlfriend. Break it off and go try to find a real girl who you can actually see in person. If she told you she isn't attracted to you, grow a pair and tell her it's over. Why would you want to date someone who says something like that to you?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Update: She invited me to her church's halloween party, which I'm considering going to. She also encouraged me to talk to her in real life rather than over Facebook.

What?! You've never met your girlfriend? Then she's not your girlfriend. Break it off and go try to find a real girl who you can actually see in person. If she told you she isn't attracted to you, grow a pair and tell her it's over. Why would you want to date someone who says something like that to you?

Well I'm of the view that long distance relationships can work, even if the two involved haven't met. I stay with her because I do care about her and I'm hoping she'll want to be with me. Plus I suuuuuuuuuuuuuuck at breaking up with girls. And talking to girls. And co-existing with girls.

Dude, you've never met this girl. Have you even talked to her? Heard her voice? How long has this been going on?

Talking is one thing but interacting with them is a whole new ballgame. Relationships are more than talking. I was in a long distance relationship when my girlfriend moved to NYC after graduation, and it is far from the same as being together and we just grew tired after 6 months and only seeing each other 6 weekends. They rarely work.

But if I were you, if a girl told me she didn't find me attractive, I would tell her we should stop seeing each other. It's not about being nice or mean, it's about self respect. You want a girl who wants to be with you. Otherwise you're selling yourself short.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Wait, who invited you to the party? The girl at school or your "girlfriend?"

Go to the party if she invited you to come. At best, you will see her boobs. At worst, you will go to a halloween party. You win. I hope she drinks.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Wait, who invited you to the party? The girl at school or your "girlfriend?"

Go to the party if she invited you to come. At best, you will see her boobs. At worst, you will go to a halloween party. You win. I hope she drinks.

The girl at my school. I think I'll go.

Although I don't think there will be boobs or alcohol. Remember, she's a Christian

Maybe not, but you need to interact with a real person and not a phone or computer. Go and have fun.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Just don't speak to her until Halloween. I think that's your best route.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Dude, values matter. Remember that. Her being a Christian and you not, especially if she's a hardcore Christian, will always hurt you. I'm not saying don't pursue her, but there will be pressure for her not to date you because of that.

It's easier if she isn't really serious about it of course. I've never dated a Christian but I am one myself, albeit a poor one, but every girl I've dated valued the same things I did so it was okay. This just sounds like an uphill battle, but I still think you need to can your current girlfriend.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

At least you broke up with your girlfriend. Now cut her out of your life. Otherwise you will never make any progress trying to balance her and this new girl. Plus, girls get super weird post-break up. You normally need a few months of silence before a friendship could ever work.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Do you really want a fall back plan? You're never going to be happy approaching it like that! You want someone who is your first choice. No one wants to be stuck with their second or third!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Let The Lord fill you with his Holy Spirit and you can fill that girl with your spirit in no time!

But really, cut that other girl out. Of course she was upset and guilt tripped you. It was a break up. Those are never pleasant. But we learn and move on.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Lief is correct. Please don't show your ex you're jealous or she will only make it worse. Also, if the girl at your school isn't interested, move on to the next one. Don't make any random girl feel like she is more important than she is. It will drive her crazy.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I missed the suicidal part. What?

You don't need to date. Also, you don't need to be in a friends with benefits deal either. Whenever you enter one of those, the end result is losing that friend. One of you will catch feelings and the other will screw you over. If you want to keep this friend, don't sleep with her. Trust me. I lost a girl I liked because I started sleeping with her and it blew up about 8 months later.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Make better friends. People who won't f**k you over. Whenever someone does that to me, and it is rare because I have good judgment most of the time, I cut them out completely. Some people are bad and they need to be left alone.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Just live your life without needing to date someone all the time. I haven't dated in years, and I'm doing just fine. You can't date someone you can't see physically. You can't date someone you just look at pictures of and can't spend time with. You're just playing emotional games with yourself. If you haven't talked to a girl in MONTHS, you're just asking to hurt yourself because I doubt she's thinking about you.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Isn't this like the blind leading the blind?

I've had my share of experiences. This poor boy needs all the help he can get, even if it comes from me.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

The problem is, this poor boy just throws darts at a board of girls and hopes one will work out. He likes a girl now that he hasn't spoken to in 4 months. How did that happen? It makes no sense. It's not normal to suddenly start having feelings for someone who you have no interaction with. He may be lusting after her but nothing more.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

The problem is, this poor boy just throws darts at a board of girls and hopes one will work out. He likes a girl now that he hasn't spoken to in 4 months. How did that happen? It makes no sense. It's not normal to suddenly start having feelings for someone who you have no interaction with. He may be lusting after her but nothing more.

I've always had feelings for her, mostly dormant, but now they're out. That's the point. Plus it's hard to communicate with her b/c she's almost never online anymore and her cell phone is broken.

20RP12, you need to get a job.  Go work at Olive Garden or at a store in the mall or something else high schooly like that.
 
Get some more in real life bro friends instead of trying to communicate your feelings online.  It'll expand your network of girls you know, too.

I've been trying for a year to get a job. I've applied to about 20 places.

Are you sure this girl is real? It smells like a catfish to me if her cell phone is broken....

But anyway, yeah, it would be healthier for you to make real friends and relationships and not ones that are only online, people who you never hear speak, never hang out with, and probably never have a chance to meet, like this girl in North Carolina.

Besides, women are different in that they need constant attention, and you'll never be able to give a girl in NC that, no matter how hard you try. You're just setting yourself up for failure.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Never do a FWB with someone you may actually want to date. Do you want to date or do you just want to mess around?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You really aren't mature enough to date anyone to be honest. It isn't all about sex, although that's part of it. Don't get into a relationship if that's all your after though. Just find a FWB and sleep with her whenever you want, but don't expect her to listen to your problems nor should she have to listen to yours.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You can't do that stupid stuff if the girl you want is in NC.

My point is, DON'T start off by asking the girl to be FWB. If she agrees, you're only good for sex until she finds someone she wants to date, then she will kick you to the curb. Transitions rarely happen where she just decides she wants to date you after you've used her for sex for months.

Plus, if you're FWB, you have no idea who else she's seeing when she isn't with you, and if you're a possessive Greek like me, it sucks.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You're forcing this too much. You can't have a good relationship with a girl until you love yourself. Otherwise, your problems will just be magnified because you are now dealing with someone else's problems on top of your own.

All I am hearing from you is you want to have someone you can fool around with. I am not hearing you want to actually have someone else's life mesh with yours. If you did want that, you would never have suggested a FWB situation.

A relationship is something where your girlfriend is just as important to you as anyone else, her successes are as great as your successes, and you trust each other with your lives. I didn't learn any of that until I was almost 21, when I met a girl I fell in love with and will never forget. It wasn't all about the sex during that relationship. It was about the time we spent together learning about one another, going through things together, the ups, the downs, supporting each other along the way.

You, my friend, just want to fool around. That's not unnatural at your age, but I wouldn't pretend you want anything serious. You don't know what that even means.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Well, you're definitely going to hurt yourself if you insist on doing things your way.

But in the spirit of The Update, I wouldn't expect it any other way than the main character to ignore all of our sound advice.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I think for this one I'm gonna pull a Bushie (and younger me) and ignore you guys' advice for the time being. If I can get some good out of this for a little while to keep myself happy, that'd be chill

You won't, but good luck to you. We'll be here when you go off the deep end again, which will likely be a week give or take a few days.