Update Season VI - "A New Day Dawning"

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I am so strung out on caffeine right now it's miserable. Don't drink eye double shot expresso from Starbucks very often.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I am so strung out on caffeine right now it's miserable. Don't drink eye double shot expresso from Starbucks very often.

I don't drink anything from Starbucks at all.  Too rich, too expensive, too liberal, too caffeinated, the list goes on.

What do you mean by that? It's expensive yes (but they gave me a free drink with a free extra shot since I had a free birthday drink on my card!), but the others?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I'm soooooo wired and I need to be awake early to hit the books once again. But that's fine if you don't like it. I'm shocked you think it's too rich considering your diet though! It's lighter then cream pies and meat and gravy.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

He's making a dangerous assumption. He's probably wired right now and doesn't even know it. I want to go run a marathon. I hate when the Starbucks barista girls offer free shots and I'm dumb enough to say yes. I'm an idiot.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It doesn't matter  I'm not going to boycott Starbucks if it stands for rich elitist liberals. I'm cool with that. They're a good company that treats their employees well and people in general.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Who buys decaf tea anyway? No chance it's decaf. Coffee, sure, that's a common decaf drink, but not tea. Bushie is wired right now. How else can you explain his energy at this hour?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I'm nearly positive he never applied to any jobs. Or a lot fewer than he claimed. If I recall, he finally said after much hounding that the job hunt was suspended because of his new life plan, which he proceeded to forget about a week later.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Limit your red meat intake. Next time go for grilled chicken or something. Every little bit helps. Burgers have a lot more fat and cholesterol versus a chicken breast.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Lentils are great if you make them with olive oil, tomatoes, garlic, onions and bay leaves. There's an art to it.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I'm not feeling well either after that 4 hour constitutional law exam. Time to get hammered..

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

So Bushie is still in the camp that believes homosexuality is a choice? And being gay and a true Christian is not possible?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

So Bushie is still in the camp that believes homosexuality is a choice? And being gay and a true Christian is not possible?

It's absurd. But it's still preferable to be ignorant and support equal rights than to be ignorant and oppose them.

My only beef with Christians who have this mindset is that their logic is just so way off. They either must be (1) that science is wrong and homosexuality is a choice or (2) God is not perfect and made a mistake when creating homosexuals.

To believe the first is absurd because I have never ever met a gay person that made the "choice" to be homosexual. Whenever a friend has come out to me, they said they had known since they were small children. Either the gays have the world's best coordinated message or 1 is false.

To believe the second choice means you don't believe in the Christian god at all who is supposed to be infallible. If God does not make mistakes and it is proven that being homosexual is something you are born as, then God does not disapprove of homosexuals, because as the Bible says, we are all created in his image and he loves all of us. I have yet to meet a Christian who can explain that one without basically saying science is false.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Disapproving of someone for being gay is like disapproving of someone for being male or female.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I hope we get to see these flashbacks! Come on Ritz!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Let me ask a few questions and I request a straight answer.

Ok.

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Yes. Given your physical and financial wellbeing, I think it would be ill advised for you to move to Kenya. This CAD degree really will not do you much good. As many others have said, Kenyans need foreign money, not manpower. I also do not believe it is so much God telling you to go as it is you telling yourself you need another vacation. Like I explained earlier, I know people who had the calling you allegedly have, and they literally left as soon as they could, while you are waiting for apartments to be build and planning "beta test phases" before you commit. They just went. They knew they had a calling and had faith it would work out.

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No.

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To who? I think inherently we are all made equal, but some of us can better ourselves through education and life experiences.

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Absolutely. Oklahoma seems like a cesspool of bad advice and ideas.

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No. Who said they wanted you to?

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No. I was hungover most of it, and I ended up eating nearly a whole Dominos pizza for dinner and now I feel even worse.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You should have a 31 minute break to symbolize your new age.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I agree with PGH. He should get into something or try to become a minister instead of going to Kenya, where he is physically unable to live. He should also not spend even more money to get a CAD degree that he will likely never use. I still have never seen the logic of him going back to school if he really wants to go to Kenya anyway. It just seems like another "vacation" for him and avoid real life for another year or so while he takes classes.

I am sure there is a church somewhere in Oklahoma where he could lead a congregation.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

BRTD mentions a few important points - although I'm disappointed that I left "pathological liar" out of that quote - but I'd also highlight the importance of empathy and self-control to ministry. The best pastors are those who fill a wide variety of roles - mentor, friend, community organizer, counselor, etc - that involve putting others before oneself. Raving about the apocalypse and shaming gay relatives based on one's patchy knowledge of scripture does not qualify anyone to serve as a religious leader.

That said, becoming a minister would be a noble, plausible goal for Bushie in many ways. But he needs to pull himself together first.

The only way he will ever pull himself together is first recognizing there is a problem. At this moment, he has convinced himself that his life is in a mess only because he is God's chosen one, likening himself to Moses and Paul.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I just want to say that after taking a 9 hour take home tax exam, I think Bushie should become a minister. Don't waste your time with higher education, whatever the hell CAD is, just do what you like to do, and that is talking about God. I mean, I have never met anyone as fanatic about God who was not a priest. That's your calling, not going to live in the jungles of Kenya, especially if people in OK don't even care about the message. God knows when I go to church I usually end up going to sleep, especially if I am forced to go to the Baptist church with my mom. I do enjoy going to the Greek church though, probably because I am wired to enjoy it.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

She has a husband and daughter now since y'all were engaged? She definitely moves fast!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

10 years old?! She must be older than you then.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

10 years old?! She must be older than you then.

Haha, no she's almost 21 years younger!

No, I mean your ex fiancee.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

That's sooooo young to have a kid. Goodness gracious!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

That's sooooo young to have a kid. Goodness gracious!

Mind you, my cousin had her first child at 17 1/2, and her sister (the lesbian) made a serious mistake and had her first child at 15 1/4.  Like I said between the two sisters, they have 7 biological children, 5 boys and 2 girls and of course 2 foster sisters.

Right. I know you all get started early, and I know why that is, but I still am surprised when I hear it first hand.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

That's sooooo young to have a kid. Goodness gracious!

Mind you, my cousin had her first child at 17 1/2, and her sister (the lesbian) made a serious mistake and had her first child at 15 1/4.  Like I said between the two sisters, they have 7 biological children, 5 boys and 2 girls and of course 2 foster sisters.

Right. I know you all get started early, and I know why that is, but I still am surprised when I hear it first hand.

It's probably the same way in East Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama.

It's due to tremendous religious pressure and lack of education. Mainly, you and many others are taught that premarital sex is wrong and are not taught proper sex education, and abstinence is not proper sex education, as we are all human and have biological urges.

To remedy this, people in those areas get married early so they can have sex and get divorced early because their main motivation for marriage was sex, or they break down and have sex because they cannot help it, because we are human and that is what we want, and because they lack education, they get pregnant and have children young, before they have an education or any sort of stable income. Then you have a child growing up in that same environment, doomed to repeat those same mistakes. And life goes on...