Pacific Legislature Official Thread

[Alcon]

If anyone chooses to introduce any debate onto the condensed form of the bill, please do so.  Otherwise, voting will begin.

For the Children Act of 2006
1. All residents of the Southeast will be recognised by the Pacific Regional Government as "Bubba."

2. In the unlikely event that the Southeast ever gets a female resident, she will be referred to as "Bubba Phyllis."

3. The Pacific Regional Government henceforth considers the Southeastern Region to be an island, surrounded by water on all four sides.

4. June 3rd, previously Jefferson Davis Day, will now be recognised as Day of Pale White Men with High Cheekbones.

5. The current Southeastern Governor, and all subsequent Southeastern Governors, will be declared the State Tree of all states in the Pacific Region.   Southeastern Lt. Governors will be declared the State Squaredance.

6. The penalty for breaching of this act is social ostracisation and ten minutes of freakishly high-speed community service.

7. The Southeast is the worst region ever and really should take a bath and implement water chlorination or something.

8. All Southeasterners are communists.

9. The Southeast no longer borders the Pacific via Texas, because that would just be really icky to be that close to the Southeast.

10. The Southeast is not allowed to retaliate for anything because the Pacific is rubber and the Southeast is glue and whatever they do bounces off of us and sticks to them.

11. The Pacific Region is officially declared the best region ever.

[Alcon]

If no one has any additional matters to bring up, I will be bringing this act to a vote.

[Alcon]

Please vote aye, nay, or abstain.

For the Children Act of 2006
1. All residents of the Southeast will be recognised by the Pacific Regional Government as "Bubba."

2. In the unlikely event that the Southeast ever gets a female resident, she will be referred to as "Bubba Phyllis."

3. The Pacific Regional Government henceforth considers the Southeastern Region to be an island, surrounded by water on all four sides.

4. June 3rd, previously Jefferson Davis Day, will now be recognised as Day of Pale White Men with High Cheekbones.

5. The current Southeastern Governor, and all subsequent Southeastern Governors, will be declared the State Tree of all states in the Pacific Region.   Southeastern Lt. Governors will be declared the State Squaredance.

6. The penalty for breaching of this act is social ostracisation and ten minutes of freakishly high-speed community service.

7. The Southeast is the worst region ever and really should take a bath and implement water chlorination or something.

8. All Southeasterners are communists.

9. The Southeast no longer borders the Pacific via Texas, because that would just be really icky to be that close to the Southeast.

10. The Southeast is not allowed to retaliate for anything because the Pacific is rubber and the Southeast is glue and whatever they do bounces off of us and sticks to them.

11. The Pacific Region is officially declared the best region ever.

[Alcon]

Aye

[Alcon]

Voting will close on April 1st.

[Alcon]

The For the Children Act of 2006 has passed 5-0.

[Alcon]

The Pacific Pornography and Sex Crime Bill will now come to a vote.  Please vote aye, nay, or abstain.

Pacific Pornography and Sex Crime Bill
Section 1: Right to pornography
   1. All those persons of 16 years of age or older not incarcerated for crimes shall have the right to buy, possess and view pornography depicting only consenting persons of 18 years of age or older.

Section 2: Right to engage in sexual relations
   1. All those persons of 16 years of age or older not incarcerated for crimes shall have the right to give consent to engage in sexual acts, including sodomy, with other persons of 16 years of age or older.
   2. All those persons between the ages of 14 years old and 16 years old not incarcerated for crimes shall have the right to consent to engage in oral sex or mutual masturbation with persons between the ages of 14 years old and 18 years old.
   3. All those Laws criminalising solitary masturbation are repealed.
   4. All those laws outlawing particular sexual conducts based on the number of persons engaged in the conduct are hereby repealed.
   5. All those laws outlawing particular sexual conducts based on the sex, sexuality, marital status, race, religion, ancestry or nationality of those engaged in the conduct are hereby repealed.

Section 3: Definition of sex crimes
   1. Any sexual conduct with a person under the age of 14 years by a person over the age of 21 years is defined as statutory rape of the first degree.
   2. Any sexual conduct with a person under the age of 12 years by a person over the age of 18 years is defined as statutory rape of the first degree.
   3. Any sexual conduct with a person under the age of 10 years by a person over the age of 16 years is defined as statutory rape of the first degree.
   4. Any sexual conduct with a person between the ages of 14 and 16 years by a person over the age of 21 years is defined as statutory rape of the second degree.
   5. Any sexual conduct with a person between the ages of 10 and 12 years by a person between the ages of 16 and 18 years is defined as statutory rape of the second degree.
   6. Any sexual conduct with a person between the ages of 12 and 14 years by a person between the ages of 18 and 21 is defined as statutory rape of the second degree.
   7. Any sexual conduct with a person between the ages of 14 and 16 years by a person between the ages of 18 and 21 is defined as carnal sexual conduct.
   8. Any sexual conduct with a person between the ages of 12 and 14 years by a person between the ages of 16 and 18 is defined as carnal sexual conduct.
   9. Any sexual conduct, except oral sex and mutual masturbation, with a person between the ages of 14 and 16 by a person between the ages of 16 and 18 is defined as carnal sexual conduct.
  10. The clauses in this Section shall only apply to circumstances where all parties involved in the sexual conduct were willing, even though they are unable under the Law to give informed, legal consent.

Section 4: Punishment for sex crimes
   1. Those guilty of Carnal Sexual Conduct may be punished by up to six months in prison and a fine of up to $1000. If released, a person guilty of this crime shall not be placed on the Sex Offenders Register.
   2. Those guilty of Statutory Rape of the Second Degree may be punished by up to ten years in prison and a fine of up to $7500. If released a person guilty of this crime shall be placed on the Sex Offenders Register for up to twenty years.
   3. Those guilty of Statutory Rape of the First Degree may be punished by up to life in prison and an unlimited fine. If released, a person guilty of this crime shall be placed on the Sex Offenders Register for life

Section 5: Construction
   1. Nothing in Sections 3 and 4 shall be construed to amend in anyway the definitions of, or punishments for, rape where consent by one of the parties involved is not given.

[Alcon]

Aye

[Alcon]

Aye on both

[Alcon]

Both amendments have (obviously) been passed.

[Alcon]

As with all non-controversial issues, this is going straight to voting.

X Alcon

[Alcon]

Aye

[Alcon]

The item fails.

[Alcon]

I am going to wait to sign this, because I have this to say.

My aunt works for the state of Washington in the very department that gets to enforce the smoking ban.  She initially voted for it, but has since discovered that it appears to be flawed and unenforable due to a number of problematic phrases in its text.  I can get more specific if you like, but the gist of the matter is that there are too many unclear passages to get my support.

[Alcon]

WildCard, still interest on a vote on this?

[Alcon]

Capital Punishment Abolition Act:  Aye
Reproductive Freedom Act:  Abstain
Marijuana Legalization Act:  Aye

[Alcon]

New Mexico Regional Transfer Resolution

Pursuant to Article IV, Section 2, Clause 2 of the Constitution, the Pacific Region hereby consents to the transfer of the state of New Mexico from the Pacific region to the Midwest region.

For free?  Seriously?  We traded Montana specifically to get New Mexico.  No way I'm going to support this unless we at LEAST get Montana back, and preferably another state with at least one voter.  Then I will consider it.  I am not voting for this version.

New Mexico Regional Transfer Resolution
Nay

[Alcon]

I'm willing to give it a chance, but what protections against falsification are we going to have?

[Alcon]

I'm willing to give it a chance, but what protections against falsification are we going to have?

Why would a doctor intentionally, involuntarily kill his patient?  It sounds right out of a lawsuit asking for a nice punitive damages settlement.

Not that I'm disagreeing with protection against falsification.  Just playing devil's advocate.  It's not enough for me to oppose the law, though.

Are we to assume that no doctor would ever murder a patient?  It's happened.  There is no harm in making protections to avoid this.

[Alcon]

My specific suggestion is to implement a legal witness protection of some type.  I'm not familiar with euthanasia law, but I believe every actual euthanasia law (including Oregon's) has such a provision.

[Alcon]

Copycat

Another example of the Pacific's desire to be just like the Midwest.  It is sad how much struggle other regions will go in their drive to emulate the Midwest in all things it does.

get your grubby midwestern paws off of our delicious montana 

[Alcon]

New Mexico Regional Transfer Resolution: Nay

Constitutional Amendment on Voter Registration and Voting Rules : Aye

Backup Redistricting Amendment: Aye

[Alcon]

I am emotionally attached to Montana, but (unlike my boss) I would be ready to contemplate a transfer of Colorado or Wyoming for New Mexico as a means of second-to-last resort.

And we just suddenly became emotionally attached to Montana AND Colorado.  We might become emotionally attached to Wyoming too if the midwest doesn't hurry up.

[Alcon]

Well, too late, because we're already emotionally attached to New Mexico, Idaho, and Utah.  We pre-emptively became emotionally attached to defeat you

That's really a shame, because you aren't even getting New Mexico.

Note we were one vote away from being emotionally attached to the ENTIRE PACIFIC.  So nyah.

I don't know what that means.  Sorry, but I haven't been following your latest fascist power grabs.

Unlike the Midwest, the Pacific relies on democracy.  Except, you know, when we rely on blowing the crap out of Belle Fourche, South Dakota.

[Alcon]

Unlike the Midwest, the Pacific relies on democracy.  Except, you know, when we rely on blowing the crap out of Belle Fourche, South Dakota.

How did you blow Belle Fourche out of itself?

I have discussed this response with the Pacific Region's advisers, who unanimously agreed to release the following statement:

Zing!